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jesyka
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Default Sep 18, 2023 at 12:42 PM
  #1
I know I said I’d take a break, but I’m going to make an exception here as I need help with this weird situation.

Before I go on, I finally have some decent news for a change, sort of. I finally found two promising f/t job positions that offer decent pay with medical benefits.

The first one is for a cashier position that pays $20 a hour with medical benefits & a few other perks like discounts.

It’s a f/t job that’s nearby. About 22 minutes from home. The other job offers training for developmentally disabled people. They start out at $20 & then offer $22 & $33 for overnight or overtime pay I think.

I’m not sure about that one as that might be to overwhelming for someone like me. I’ll either be able empathize with the clients or find them to difficult to deal with depending on the severity of their symptoms.

Anyways, I actually met this lady the other day in person off an app so she’s not some A. I robot, or scammer, lol 😆

She’s 40 years old & an artist who actually lives near me. She’s visually impaired in one eye. She can’t drive.

I drove us to an art & wine festival the other day. We had lunch. We have a lot in common with each other. We like a lot of the same music, art, traveling, the same food, & movies too.

She just got out of a toxic relationship with a narc. She can’t find a guy to date because they reject her once they find out about her disability & her inability to drive.

She made a comment about how I’m lucky that I’ve been married for 29 years. I said nothing about it being hard or difficult. I made the mistake of telling her that I settled as I didn’t have any luck with guys back then.

I told her that I’m not close to my family either but I didn’t go into details about things. Maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned that.

She said her mom & dad are alcoholics. So maybe she’s not in a position to judge me, who knows? Her stepdad is OK though & so is her brother.

As for my husband, I didn’t reveal details about him. She asked me if I lived in a house & I said yes. She lives in an apartment with a male roomate.

Idk if these are innocent questions or not or if she is was judging me or is jealous or me or not now.

The weird thing is that she has stopped texting me now. She did respond to me last text the night I dropped her off. I shared some stuff we talked about. She thanked me for sharing links to shows & books.

Then she stopped responding to me after I mentioned something controversial about a band’s history. Idk if I triggered her or not. I didn’t mention exactly what happened.

I said I didn’t agree with what this person did.

It’s been almost two day’s & it’s not like her to not not respond to me. She kept me on read.

Idk if I offended her or triggered her with my last text or if I made her jealous because I’m married & living in a house while she can’t even get a date.

I’m really hurt as she seemed so nice & asked me if I wanted to go out to these clubs, & to see these bands, we both like, movies too as well as walks & now she’s ignoring me. I don’t get it!

She did say that she’s leaving for a trip to WA. with friends & her brother in 2 days for a week. The funny thing is she invited me to see a movie before then.

I don’t understand this lady at all.

Is she ghosting me or maybe just to busy to respond back to me for now? Idk what to do.

What should I do? Should I say anything or not? If I say anything to her, then what should I say without sounding needy or weird?

Is it possible that she might be jealous of me? Her questions sounded like she might’ve been a bit envious of me. What do you guys think?

Anyways, I’m going to apply to that cashier job later today. And a few other places too. Wish me luck.

Last edited by jesyka; Sep 18, 2023 at 01:25 PM..
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Default Sep 18, 2023 at 12:50 PM
  #2
Good luck on the job front.

As for the acquaintance is far too early. She’s probably just busy.

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Default Sep 18, 2023 at 01:23 PM
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Thanks. Hopefully you’re right about it being to early to see if she’s ghosting me or not.
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Default Sep 18, 2023 at 02:29 PM
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Good luck with your job applications!

Two days doesn’t seem long to me, especially if she’s busy preparing for a trip.

The questions seem like normal getting to know you type of questions to me. The comment on your marriage could be taken as a compliment, 29 years is a long time, it’s up to you what you feel comfortable sharing with her. It’s okay to say “I don’t feel comfortable talking about that” if you don’t.

It sounds like you had a nice time anyway.
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Default Sep 18, 2023 at 02:50 PM
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Originally Posted by Discombobulated View Post
Good luck with your job applications!

Two days doesn’t seem long to me, especially if she’s busy preparing for a trip.

The questions seem like normal getting to know you type of questions to me. The comment on your marriage could be taken as a compliment, 29 years is a long time, it’s up to you what you feel comfortable sharing with her. It’s okay to say “I don’t feel comfortable talking about that” if you don’t.

It sounds like you had a nice time anyway.
Thanks. I’m just anxious because of the bad experiences I’ve had in the past with former friends.

Hopefully she isn’t going to ghost me. And hopefully I will get thus cashier job.

It’s extremely rare for a retail job to offer above minimum wage & f/t hours with any kind if medical benefits anywhere!
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Default Sep 18, 2023 at 05:54 PM
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Good luck with your job applications. It sounds very promising. Let us know how it goes

I have no idea about the lady. I am sure jealousy isn’t an issue. Grown ups aren’t typically jealous of each other, it’s not high school. I am sure my single friends aren’t jealous that I am married. Everyone just lives their lives. Being married and living in a house isn’t better than apartment and being single. It’s just different

Maybe she’s busy or changed her mind or who knows. Give it some time
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Default Sep 19, 2023 at 04:38 AM
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Who knows? I wouldn't say anything now about it to her. I would be patient and wait. She could be busy prepping for her trip, which would make a lot of sense. She may have forgotten that she invited you to the movies before her trip. Or, she could be one of those flakey types who talks a lot of bs then never follows through on plans she makes. You don't know her well enough to say at this point. I would be cautious, however, with this one. She seems like she's throwing out to you a lot of ideas for things to do together, as though you are now instantly bffs. That raises a red flag to me. Does she have any other close friends?\

I think it's too soon to know whether there is envy on her part - you are reading into things a bit too much, I think, and I understand why, based on your past experiences. I think you have to know her better to know whether there is true envy or not.

It was wise of you not to divulge a ton of specific details of your life. Boundaries are healthy!

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Default Nov 16, 2023 at 03:17 PM
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Update:

Sorry that I’ve been slow to respond to everyone. I took a break like I said I would.

Good news, I finally got a p/t seasonal retail job. I’m desperate fir money, so I aceppted it. Thank goodness the interview was over the phone as I suck at interviews. I wasn’t asked much aside from my availability, thank god!

Thus might just ne a temporary job, ifk yet. They might hire me as a permanent employee after the holidays.

My first day is tomorrow

Snyways, that lady ghosted me. I’m upset as I thought we clicked. I honestly don’t understand people at all.

I’m on the verge of giving up completely on everyone. I’m sick of being constantly rejected for no apparent reason.
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Default Nov 16, 2023 at 03:48 PM
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Congrats on landing the seasonal job! Great idea, lots of people get kept on after holidays but even if you don’t you’ll have gained experience and some extra cash.
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Default Nov 16, 2023 at 08:25 PM
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Originally Posted by Discombobulated View Post
Congrats on landing the seasonal job! Great idea, lots of people get kept on after holidays but even if you don’t you’ll have gained experience and some extra cash.
Thanks. Hopefully they’ll hire me as a permanent employee. It’ll be nice to be able to pay my own crefit card bills on time & not rely on my controlling financially abusive husband to pay them He almost always pays them all late on purpose to keep my credit bad, ugh.
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