Submitted Notice Today - I Just Don't Fit

You’ve given notice. You don’t have to do any of the extras. If she’d like to arrange severance she can do that.

Seriously, why continue to bother someone who's already given their notice? Something is really not right with the manager.

October 27th... tick tock!!!

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I swear if I had the money, I would hire an attorney. I live in at "at will" state, so the company could fire me for no reason (although I feel pushed out), but this has to be some type of discrimination.

Could just be the way this manager wants to do business or maybe has been directed from higher up to do business this way & not doing it in a way to accomodate you way may have nothing at all to do with you or discrimination.

I agree it is strange but does anyone else seem to have a problem with it? Ugh, I was a computer engineer & there was one company I went to work for that just did everything wrong compared to other companies I worked for. Only stayed there a few months. One person is not gojng to change a company. Best to find where we fit. Legal matters don't solve or really change anything either

I'm sorry you're under the thumb of a tyrannical nut-job. This supervisor is a control freak who is especially into playing with people's heads. Who ever gave this person this level of behavior control? Where you work I presume is a business or agency that produces some good, or some service. Micro-managing how you interact socially seems to have nothing to do with whatever this place is in the business of doing. This supervisor gets some weird gratification out of treating you like a puppet and out of making you feel perpetually insecure and threatened.

In any workplace, we always have a duty to try and be pleasant to our co-workers. That doesn't mandate any special level of social bonding. No one is obligated to make any coworker their personal friend. What you are describing seems completely out of place. What should matter is how you are cooperating to "get the job done" whatever that job is.

You do not sound like a negative Nelly

As an outsider this reads to me like a failure of your manager to manage you properly. She honestly sounds an inadequate manager and maybe she needs development herself in her role in how to manage staff.

Will there be an opportunity for feedback when you leave this job? Like an exit questionnaire? Maybe you can feedback the experience you’ve had to HR.

Adding to this, I support your decision to leave the job - I left a job 8 years ago whereby I had a manager who I came to realise wasn’t coping herself in the job and would take it out on me, it impacted on my mental health so negatively I also put my notice in.

It was a stressful time and I can only sympathise with what you’re going through, my experience was that I have never looked back, leaving was without a shadow of a doubt the best move I made. I moved on and got a much better fit of a workplace and no one has ever treated me like that since. Wishing you good luck as you move forward.

Regarding not having money to hire an attorney: you can find a labor lawyer to take your case on a contingency basis. At least get some free 30 minute consultations through your local bar association referral service and see if anyone gets interested. You won't lose anything but a little time doing that.

If you were fired or at the least written up I understand hiring an attorney to dispute it or demand compensation. I doubt you can hire an attorney to dispute being asked to be “upbeat”. What are you asking in regards to taking legal routes? Monetary compensation? For making feel uncomfortable?

Did you formally request accommodations based on your diagnosis and were denied? Doctor’s letter? Etc? Her knowing your diagnosis might not mean anything as she might not fully understand it. Did your psychiatrist provide a letter with formal requests?

This place is absolutely insane. I have never heard such things taking place. I mean demanding you be upbeat and participate in social stuff. It’s insane. But it’s just a bad fit. What would you sue for?

I’d leave and look for a better fit. Or go on medical leave right now if your doctor thinks staying another two weeks is detrimental.

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Originally Posted by divine1966 If you were fired or at the least written up I understand hiring an attorney to dispute it or demand compensation. I doubt you can hire an attorney to dispute being asked to be “upbeat”. What are you asking in regards to taking legal routes? Monetary compensation? For making feel uncomfortable? Did you formally request accommodations based on your diagnosis and were denied? Doctor’s letter? Etc? Her knowing your diagnosis might not mean anything as she might not fully understand it. Did your psychiatrist provide a letter with formal requests? This place is absolutely insane. I have never heard such things taking place. I mean demanding you be upbeat and participate in social stuff. It’s insane. But it’s just a bad fit. What would you sue for? I’d leave and look for a better fit. Or go on medical leave right now if your doctor thinks staying another two weeks is detrimental.

Exactly what I was thinking. Any kind of win wouldn't ever make it a fit

The argument might be that you were forced to resign, and the win would be a monetary compensation, not a rehire. It is a weak argument given that so little was in writing and that you were not formally denied an accommodation, but at the same time your manager knew about the ASD and you asked her not to force you to be upbeat, so there is enough of a case her to have some free consults with local employment lawyer.

I've looked it up: the cause of action for being forced to resign is called Constructive Discharge. You will have 180 days to file a written complaint with the EEOC. So you must act promptly. Here is from the website of a Pennsylvania labor law firm that represents employees and former employees and you should be able to find same in your state:

"Can I Sue for Being Forced to Resign?
If you were forced to quit or resign from a job due to intolerable working conditions, you may be able to sue your employer for constructive discharge. Legally, constructive discharge is a form of termination because you were forced to quit against your will. If you are forced to resign, you should be able to receive unemployment benefits. You are also able to file a complaint with the EEOC. It is important to keep a record of everything that occurred while working for your employer to support your constructive discharge claim. Our experienced employment law team can help with this process, and we recommend contacting us as soon as possible. Filing a claim with the EEOC must be done within 180 days if you work in the private sector and 45 days after termination if you work for the government. At [law firm], we have been helping clients for over 35 and we're here to answer your questions. We're available for free legal evaluations 24/7 at [phone], by chat, or by filling out the form on this page."
Is it Better to Quit or Be Fired? | Edgar Snyder.

Since you are still on the job, you might be able to create a post hoc paper trail by initiating written correspondence with your manager and also possibly HR, telling them how much you liked the job substantively but could not tolerate the demands that had nothing to do with the job function and that ran against your personality and mental health dx which is a recognized disability. You might tell them that post hoc you wish you had asked for a formal accommodation but thought that it was absurd to call an accommodation your desire to be left alone and to focus on the job for which you were hired and have been paid. Reiterate that you performed the job substantively very well, enjoyed it, and got no negative reviews, and would have gladly stayed on the job had it not been for unreasonable demands.

Writing this might elicit disclosure from the employer that would later bolster your case which now is lacking in written evidence. But the employer might also become tightlipped if they realize that you are collecting written evidence against them.

I would talk to an attorney about this right now. Ask for an urgent free consult, tell the attorney that you are still on the job and can still communicate with the employer, creating a paper trail. You will be uncomfortable doing all of that, talking to an attorney, communicating with the employer, but it is in your best interest to proceed. As you see, your unemployment benefits eligibility is at stake in addition to the possibility of a monetary recovery from the former employer.

I'm glad you told them to pound sand. Life is way too short to work a job you don't like. While no job may be perfect, some are more tolerable than others and your boss plays a big role in that. Without going through 30+ posts, I'm not sure if you landed another job or what your plans are. Whatever the case, the job market is strong right now and it is a good time to branch out and seek something new if you wish. All the best to you and don't look back.

There is no new gig lined up for OP and in the area in which OP works, the labor market is not strong and there are new layoffs announced as we speak.

Interesting ideas. Good advice.

I look back at some times in my life when I became kind of a victim of circumstances that I might have better objected to and gotten some leverage over. I now see where I failed to pre-emptively lessen the power of persons who were against me by not creating a paper trail of formal memos submitted to appropriate parties. I thought I was being nice, but I was leaving myself vulnerable. I had thought that memos might have made me seem overly confrontational or petty. I didn't want to further fuel notions that I was not a congenial team member. It was not a good strategy. Sometimes you have to formally call a thing out early, or it snowballs and overwhelms you. I like the idea that some of that can be done retroactively. I like the idea that, in forcing a response to your submitted letters or memos, you may unsettle the belief of others that you can be easily disposed of. The post above is worth thinking about.

ZenZeta, have you found anything full time or are you freelancing? Happy New Year!