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Junior Member
Member Since Oct 2023
Location: Gästrikland
Posts: 10
1 |
#1
1. Whenever that person does something wrong, they won't apologise by themselves, I have to remind them to apologise 90% of times (on the other hand, they expect me to apologise to them continuously for anything). Nowadays they do apologide but later make the impression they did it just to get me to stop mentioning the thing that hurt me
2. I can't seem to ever meet their expectations. I might put a lot of effort into the friendship and might do anything for that person's good, but they just end up expecting more and more and not being satisfied because of some different detail (like me responding to another person's message before the one they sent). It might even lead to them not wanting to talk to me for over a week 3. They basically went from being super nice to me and absolutely adoring me to being passive aggressive almost everyday. They might even go as far as laugh at my personal issues and fears or say hurtful things to me on purpose (not insults though, but things like "I wish we never met") 4. They won't appreciate any good things that life will give them, either. They might even lie about having the same issues as me and after it turns out not to be true, they expect me to be happy 5. They find a reason to want to leave me/block me basically every day. Some of them are reasonable, such as us not really getting along. But others can be really odd, even me feeling down about something or giving them advice might lead to them wanting to ghost me 6. At first they claim to feel inferiority complex because of me, and a while later they talk badly about people having my traits. They will say degoratory things about people who have the same lifestyle or life path as me and say things like "I would never want to live like that, it's so much worse" 7. I get the impression that I am the only person they know that they treat like this. Probably because all of the person's other friendships are surviving normally Are these things signs of narcissistic abuse? Some people also suggested the person in question might be bipolar type 2, but I do not know how exactly it works |
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AzulOscuro, Discombobulated, mote.of.soul, unaluna
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Grand Member
Member Since May 2013
Posts: 899
11 118 hugs
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#2
Please look up some stuff on YouTube.
Darren F Magee Dr. Grande Lise leblanc Borderline personality and covert narcissistic traits. Regardless, this is someone who effects your peace and state of mind, makes you question yourself, unsettles you... Just... Let them go. This isn't a spouse or a parent. This is someone voluntarily in your circle. Just let them go. Peace RDMercer |
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AzulOscuro, eskielover, Open Eyes
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,297
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#3
It's hard to diagnose, and we're not allowed to diagnose on here. At the very least, this person is unstable at best, is beating you down and is taking you on an emotional roller coaster ride every single day, yanking you from one direction to another. My advice is to cut ties completely. This "friend" is no friend and is very toxic. Cut ties.
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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AzulOscuro, Discombobulated
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 5,243
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#4
Although I really appreciate why you want answers we can’t diagnose on here and diagnosis is a complicated process which can only be done in person.
However, it sounds like you are describing a situation whereby you don’t feel cared for or appreciated- this is something you need to decide yourself whether you’re going to stay in this relationship and if you do what will be the effect on yourself. |
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AzulOscuro
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Member
Member Since Jun 2019
Location: Canada
Posts: 167
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#5
On the deepest level, this has nothing to do with your friend. It has to do with you and only you.
Why are you allowing yourself to be treated this way? Your best bet is to educate yourself regarding your issues. She has simply tapped into them for her own perverse reasons. Those reasons are her issues to deal with if she chooses to. You focusing on her issues is simply a way to ignore your own (she's got issues, not me). There is nothing you can do about her. You are in charge and responsible only for yourself. Read books, watch youtube videos, talk to a therapist. To repeat, this isn't about her, it's about you. Your biggest clue is she has "normal" relationships with other people in her life. You are her target. Why is that? When you love and respect yourself, it radiates out. It is the greatest gift you can give yourself. Others pick up on it, and treat you accordingly. |
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AzulOscuro, moodyblue83, Rive.
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,903
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#6
Some people are just not nice. Not everything is a diagnosis. Labeling it as a certain kind of abuse might be kind of pointless because what does it matter? If the person treats you poorly, cut ties. I do understand it’s not always possible if it’s your family and you must live with them or cutting ties will cause other issues, then I get it that it might be complicated. But in all other cases, just be done with them. Life is too short
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AzulOscuro, mote.of.soul, Tart Cherry Jam
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Grand Member
Member Since May 2013
Posts: 899
11 118 hugs
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#7
The others on here are right.
Labels and diagnoses aren't necessary. This relationship isn't working and there are hurtful things occurring. Maybe don't over think it... Just let it go. RDM |
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AzulOscuro, Open Eyes
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,251
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#8
Some people lack self awareness and don’t realize how their choices and behaviors can affect others. These people can even claim they are victims yet they keep choosing a lifestyle that exposes them to unhealthy people. Try to tell them and they can blow up and get very defensive. Sometimes they can even act very entitled and have strong narcissistic traits. That is not diagnosing someone with NPD or some other disorder. Saying a person can be selfish and narcissistic is not a diagnosis.
The key is knowing when another person is unhealthy and paying attention to your own behaviors that may be contributing and walking away because we cannot change other people only ourselves. |
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AzulOscuro
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,825
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#9
I subscribe all what have been said here.
Diagnosis is their psychiatrists’ concern. Yours is the way you are treat and why you think you deserve this treatment. You don’t. But, you are allowing. This is the point to work on. You are the most valuable you have although you can’t see it. Use the experience as a starting point to empower yourself. Look for other similar patterns in the past. Use a journal to write down your experiences. You are allowed to complain and express whatever you need to put outside but never show these kinds of people your weakness. Set boundaries and set up them. There’s a person whose videos are about setting boundaries with others. Especially manipulative people. I can’t remember the name of the channel. I’m gonna do some research and paste it here. __________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
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Open Eyes
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,825
10 1,758 hugs
given |
#10
I’m sorry. I didn’t get the you-tube channel I mention above.
Dr Ramani is always a win __________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
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eskielover, Open Eyes
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2021
Location: California
Posts: 2,825
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#11
There is no indication of bipolar type 2. I also agree with the posters above that you should not try to diagnose but instead just cut all the ties, take a deep breath, and move forward towards better relationships with other people.
__________________ Bipolar I w/psychotic features Last inpatient stay in 2018 Geodon 40 mg Seroquel 75 mg Gabapentin 1200 mg+Vitamin B-complex (against extrapyramidal side effects) Long term side effects from medications, some of them discontinued: - hypothyroidism - obesity BMI ~ 38 |
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