i consider my self a one man girl

eskielover · Nov 08, 2023 at 02:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by patbunny1

@eskielover
i know. but i have doubts if i am ready for a change yet. i knw i have to do something but still dont have a gut to do it

Sometimes you have to take action for your own well being whether you have the guts for it or not. I walked out finally after 33 years in a marriage & moved 2100 miles away to a place I didn't know anyone to start life over. Didn't take guts it just took determination that it was what I needed to do. Best decision in my whole life. Yes, I am making it fine on my own & much better than I ever did with him & I am happy & at peace finally

Rose76 · Nov 09, 2023 at 03:06 AM

Wanting someone you love to be happy doesn't mean that you go along with every fool idea that comes into his head. It sounds like he's testing what you'll tolerate. Letting that girl in the bed was ridiculous. That was him checking to see how big a fool you are.

You have to put your foot down. A guy in a relationship can not have a female friend who is so close that she shows up to crash at your place. Her getting in bed with you is utterly ridiculous. This "friend" is way too dependent on your guy. Tell your man he is to never, ever do that again.

I think it is a big mistake to live with a man who is not sure he wants to be monogamous. If that's how he is, you are headed for heartbreak.

Tart Cherry Jam · Nov 09, 2023 at 09:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by patbunny1

@Tart Cherry Jam
i used to be a hopeless romantic at one point. but now i do not believe in those things. i'm the one who asked out from him thinking he's teh one and now i'm the one that's suffering. i'm way too attached after 4 years of living together and i have completely forgot what life bfor this even was like. and now cant live alone without him. i love him, i do. but, uk what i mean. i dont even think i can think straight anymore

It is very hard, extremely hard to imaging life how it had been before you fell in love with him. But you had lived, you had had fun, you had enjoyed friendships, you had been yourself. I would suggest getting in touch with you as you had been before you met him. This will demonstrate to you that you exist as a whole and separate unit outside of the relationship with him. I do realize how hard it is but suggest that you try rekindling your friendships from before you met him as these friends will remind you that you have a separate existence, separate from his man and your feelings for him. Visiting places where you had been without him would help, too.

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