Why do some people refuse to discuss anything?

Either that or they accuse you or trying to start a fight or an argument with them?

They simply say I don’t want to hear it. Any attempt to talk to them period seen as the other person trying to start a fight no matter how calm or rational or respectful the other person is. It’s really frustrating.

Is there anyway to communicate with extremely stubborn people like this?

Why are some people like this? Is this their way of maintaining control over a situation or a person? By not allowing them to communicate how they feel? By forcing the other person to not do or say certain around the other person that would upset them?

Maybe they don’t care enough about the other person to try to resolve any issues or to work put any compromises?

Have you ever personally dealt with anyone like this? If so, how did you handle the situation?

Its funny you should ask this, because in that post i talked about before, i did feel like you were trying to start a fight, by asking me a question about something i had just gone out of my way to explain to you, giving several examples. I almost forgot the subject, but it was about leakage.

Like, i said if my weight got too high, i had a problem. I saw no need to conversate more about that. Yet you asked me a question. Its like you just want to talk to relieve your loneliness, but not to actually learn anything.

I dont know how to relieve your loneliness. Sharing
ideas with other people helps relieve mine. Helping other people. Comforting other people. Just trying to be nice to other people.

I know you live with a "zinger". But zinging other people does not make friends. A boy taught me that in high school. My older brother used to zing me all the time, so i thought that being clever and zinging people was how to communicate with people. 50 years plus later, i thank RB for kindly teaching me that.

Maybe try being being nice to people, even if they are awful to you. I mean we dont know which came first, the chicken or the egg.

There are often times where I have no interest in discussing a particular topic, and yes, I will put my foot down if someone tries to push it. There are also times when I'm in conflict with someone, but my emotions are too strong so I cannot discuss it with them rationally. So I will also keep my boundary and say I cannot discuss it right now, but in those situations, the fair way to deal with it is to let them know you will discuss it tomorrow or when, because it's not fair "fighting" when in conflict with a loved one to make them wait forever to resolve a conflict. People have the right to cool off and get their emotions in check before they discuss with you.

I'd say I need to know more about the context of when people are refusing to discuss something with you to know if there's anything to be done about it.

I wasn’t trying to start a fight with you. I misunderstood you & I told you that. I wasn’t trying to zing you either. I wasn’t trying to talk just to releive loneliness. I was trying to find out if there is any medication I can take to stop this issue.

I wasn’t trying to be rude. I try to ne nice to people. However, if someone is rude to me, I find it hard to be nice to them.

Example, that petson who went off about free speech. Sure, we have free speech, but we shouldn’t say whatever we feel like saying just because we’re able to do it.

Even I know that, lol. I just tend to get a little confused when I’m stressed out & a little frustrated at times . Please try to be patient with me. My new job is stressful.

I’m in a lot of physical pain now too as I’m out of shape & it hurts like hell to move more than ever with my fibromyalgia. I called a my general practitioner today to get a referral for a urologist.

This issue is to much. I’m very worried that I might loose control in public at some point. I think I might have to not work or go out for to long until I can fix this issue.

I’m having a difficult time focusing with all this stress. I don’t know how I can manage to live like this with very little help from anyone. My husband works 6 days a week. We have no insurance too, so it’s not like I can hire someone to help me run errands or whatever.

Sometimes people don’t want to discuss something when they know (based on previous experience) it will lead to a confrontation and argument, especially embarrassing if it’s a public confrontation.

On couple of occasion you wanted to discuss something with people who were intoxicated (not sure if you were too but you said they had a few drinks). That’s usually a bad timing and it’s a bad idea to discuss anything when under influence. So it’s smart for them not wanting to engage if they weren’t sober

It could be also that people don’t want to discuss something that was repeatedly discussed before. Rehashing something just doesn’t serve any purpose and it could be triggering.

It is also possible that people don’t want to discuss things with you because you previously ignored what they had to say or didn’t like responses and became aggressive. Next time people will avoid any and all conversations

I understand that. I don’t always ignore people or get upset at everyone’s responses. That’s not true at all. We did not have repeated discussions about this subject before. I only told her once to please look out for this guy, described him & told her I’ll tap you on the shoulder to turn around & walk in the other direction if we see him. She seemed to understand me back then.

I asked her why she was upset & she didn’t tell me anything other than that I’m trying to start a fight & stop. Wth? She couldn’t tell me what the problem was. It was ridiculous

How am I supposed to know what I’m doing wrong if she doesn’t tell me what it is?

She seemed a bit agitated earlier, so I suspect she was annoyed at something else. Her tone of voice was rude a few times. I noticed that. I didn’t do or say anything wrong other than to please not touch me as I don’t like to be touched. She was touching me to often & I didn’t like it. She stopped after that.

I said it nicely. We were talking about her new crush at work who she’s in love with earlier & guys in general.

She seemed fine. I wonder if she forgot to take her meds that day maybe.

It’s possible. She has depression & anxiety. Maybe she thought I should’ve just ignored that mean guy who was sneering at me.

She knows that I have bad anxiety. I can’t just do that. She has anxiety too. Not as bad as me though. It’s insensitive of her to not be supportive of me & to tell me to just let it go.

I don’t appreciate being told that after being harassed in public by that guy.

I expect support. I would support her if she needed it.

I can no longer count on her for support obviously.

I see. I just started another thread about this. It’s about a friend of mine who recently lashed out at me.

You cant keep saying you have bad anxiety. It sounds like an excuse. Actually it sounds like my mother! Like there is an official reason everybody has to bow down to you, like you have a terminal disease. It makes people not take you seriously. That could be a reason they refuse to discuss anything. You have this trump card and your not afraid to use it. Its a very expensive card.

The discussions I had with other people were made with myself & them sober too & they still didn’t want to discuss things.

I have noticed that you tend to assume that the problem lies with me since I supposedly don’t listen or that I tend to be argumentative or whatever isn’t true at all.

I do listen. I might misunderstand things at times, but I listen & I don’t argue. I may disagree with people at times, but that is NOT the same as arguing with someone. I’m allowed to have a different opinion. That’s NOT arguing.

Other people can disagree with me & not be arguing with me as well. I think that maybe some people might see disagreement as ‘arguing’ or being ‘combative’.

I never said that people need to bow down to me. I just expect people to be more sensitive.

I expect to be treated with respect. That’s not the same as expecting people to bow down to me. It sounds like you’re still upset with me over something I said in a previous thread it seems like. I said sorry.

I don’t appreciate the condescending rude way some people talk to me on here. I don’t judge other people on here. I shouldn’t be judged. I can’t help the way I am.

For my friend to yell at me in public was very rude & inappropriate. How is that expecting everyone to bow to me? Is expecting to be able treated with respect to much to ask for?

Do you know what it’s like to have anxiety? Would you expect someone who’s in a wheelchair to get up & start walking & stop making excuses to not walk?

I don’t want to be this way. I’m mot making excuses. I tried therapy & medication but ot doesn’t really help me much.

My anxiety isn’t as bad as it used to be, but I still get triggered at times.

What if I told you to stop making excuses for your issues? That would be rude.

Say if you have depression & I were to say, stop feeling sorry for yourself, go outside, smile, go outside & get some sun.

Wouldn’t that be rude & condescending?

This is supposed to be a site to offer support, not judgement. I’m not feeling support here. I feel judged & that everything is always my fault no matter what.

It’s not.

I don’t mean on here. I mean getting argumentative irl. So people avoid discussing things because they don’t want confrontations. Especially in public

I wasn’t argumentative with her for example. Although she pissedme off & told me off. I held it together & remained calm even after she yelled at me & threatened to leave me there.

I calmly asked her why she was upset & to not talk to me like that & to not yell at me & she was like, I’ll talk to you however I want to, you pissed me off, I’m sick of this, you’re arguing with me, stop!

I was only asking her a question, SHE was combative & arguing with ME. She was abusive & nasty.

All of this started just by me asking her if she forgot about what I told her in the parking lot. As I said., she was spacing put when I gave her the signal.

I don’t understand why that upset her so much I didn’t accuse her of anything. I just asked her to see what was going on.

Yelling and screaming is extreme. But I maintain that it’s alcohol talking. I’d be vomiting after few drinks. I don’t drink. People who habitually drink might not be sick like I would get, but getting rowdy and argumentative is common.

I sure hope it was just the booze talking. Hearing the things she saidwas disturbing. Should I bring this incident up with her or not? She might get upset at me again. I’m still upset about it.

Should I let this go or not? What would you do?

I don’t have friends like that. No point to bring it up with people. I’d not bring it up but I’d not continue being friends if I get yelled at in public. Choose better friends.

I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt for now. She’s getting a divorce She’s only getting one chance though.

Just remember that all that happens when you return rudeness with rudeness is that you escalate the conflict. There are times to meet people's energy and give them exactly what they are giving to you, and there are times to understand that person is hurting and extend grace. It's my experience that the latter is often the better route.

Sometime someone comes across as a little kid and the only way to shut them down is to say I’m not discussing this. End of subject. They’ve gone on and on.

People can choose to not discuss something, but it’s very rude & inappropriate to yell at someone & to cuss them out.

I have overactive bladder. When I go out I wear an incontinence pad just to be safe. It really helps me to know that I am not at risk of having an accident.

I've also been on meds for it for several years and that has really helped too.