Why do some people tend to target people who are vulnerable, weak or sensitive?

This is such an interesting topic and I may have more to add later, but for right now I can observe that I think part of it may be that some of us are extroverted or tend to be more "open books" and thus simply more likely to allow a toxic person into our lives. I recently moved to a new town and was seeking new friends, and had a bad experience that blindsided me because it happened via a writing group, a scenario that had previously seemed "safe" to me after years of participating in such groups without negative incidents.


When people are older - especially over 30 or 40, I think some people have settled into their friend groups and not really open to meeting new people. But extroverts like me (or sometimes less extroverted people who are in a new situation - new job, newly single, new city or whatever) will seek new contacts and affiliation. And Toxic people are sometimes the ones who sense that. Perhaps because they are toxic, they have less friends or are single and thus open to new contacts and finding new "victims."


I certainly notice with my newly single female friends that say dating is much more difficult when older, simply because the guys who are "good relationship" material are already taken. The remaining options may be players, confirmed bachelors, or have other issues.


Anyway, I have to go back to sleep but interested to see where this discussion leads. I am actually meeting someone from my depression support group tomorrow - she invited me to go for coffee. I am determined to take this super slow and very casual this time, since I don't know if she is friend material.

I think it’s also important to not only be selective but also take a look at overall life style and where you are meeting these toxic people. If these are club and bars and drinking and getting stoned (or even hard core drug abuse) take place, then it’s not that unusual that people get argumentative and come across toxic. That’s just come with the territory.

Making adjustment to one’s life style and looking for friends in other places might lead to finding healthier people. They might not become close friends every time but at least they won’t behave in a trashy manner.

Toxic people are everywhere. One of the most toxic two faced person I ever met was from a womens meetup grouo. It was this fake Christian lady who was my former nest friend.

She spread numerous lies aboutbme to a mutual friend & another lady I know. She said that I was a drug addict for taking prescription medication.

Then she said that all I do all day is drink & eat since I don’t eant to eork & that I’m lazy. She revealed intimate detsils of my marriage too.

And she accused me of heing a lesbian too which isn’t true at all. I’m asexual but I still take care of my husband ls needs, so rhe moron thinks I must be gay, lol.

There’s more, but that’s the just of it. She was obviously extremely jealous of me since her dream in life was to get married & be taken care of by a man. She’s been divorced twice.

This trashy loser had an affair with a married man with kids too. And shes a good Christian lady, lol.

What you said is very true. Sorry to hear thst you’ve had issues dealing with people who’ve bern toxic too.

I have unfortunately bern to trusting, open & naieve with people in the past. Also, some people who I thought were nice good people put up a very good act at first. Even someone who isn’t naieve might’ve been fooled by their b.s persona until they got to know them better.

She sounds awful. What a loser. Terrible.

The only thing I’d suggest is to avoid sharing intimate details of your life with people you barely know. The only person who knows details of my sex life is my husband lol I’d not want to know what happens in a bedroom of even my closest friends, why would they need to know mine? No one can spread details of your marriage if they don’t know those details, and they shouldn’t know. It’s private

That’s quite strange that you want to share that with random person in a meetup group. Same about meds you take. Why would she need to know? I am not saying you must be secretive but why does everyone need to know?

I’d try to be more selective about what you share and when and why and with whom. Take your time to become close friends before disclosing too much. And some stuff like your sex life doesn’t need to be disclosed at all

I hear you and thanks...

I, too, have been trusting, open and naive when meeting new people, and that's precisely how I've made myself more vulnerable to being a target for toxic types of people. At times, I've even been desperate for companionship, male or female. People can pick up on that and take advantage of it.

Now I'm learning to be far more cautious and discerning. It takes practice and time.

Just be far more conscientious and careful going forward and you will make progress.

Yeah, she is a jealous loser. I made a big mistake telling her about my personal life. It’s actually common to share some personal details with close friends & best friends.

I don’t tell just anyone about these things even though it seems like it, lol. I have been open with people on here about what meds I take & other things as this us a support board, BUT I normally am more private & discreet with most people I don’t know that well irl, lol.

I thought that I could trust her. I was wrong obviously. I knew her for 2 or 3 years. So she wasn’t a stranger to me & we knew each other in person too.

Some people may target "the weak." Most are narcissists who don't realize what they're doing. Also, watch out for gaslighters, histrionics, manipulators, and the like. Best thing you can do is identify them, and steer clear. If you're stuck with them for some reason, remember that "No" is a complete sentence! Follow your passions, joy, and happiness.

Some people may target "the weak." Most are narcissists who don't realize what they're doing. Also, watch out for gaslighters, histrionics, manipulators, and the like. Best thing you can do is identify them, and steer clear. If you're stuck with them for some reason, remember that "No" is a complete sentence! Follow your passions, joy, and happiness.

I and my close friends don’t share details of our marital sex so not sure where it’s common. It’s actually not recommended because you are sharing something very intimate that happens in your marriage without your spouse knowing (not the same as sharing with a professional).

Many women would feel betrayed if they knew their husband discusses their sex life with his buddies. So I am sure men would feel the same. If you discuss your single sex life engaging with random people, then it’s different. Our bedroom is ours. Not for others to know.

I discuss meds with my close friends and we sometimes discuss side effects etc That’s not uncommon. But I’d not discuss with everyone

I just don’t understand how all these people are your close friends yet they treat you badly and you don’t like them either. Not everyone should be your friend even you know them for 2-3 years. I know a lot of people but only a few are my actual friends. The rest are activity partners or acquaintances.

Knowing someone for 2-3 years doesn’t always mean they are your friends. Certainly don’t be friends with “trashy losers” as you called this woman

I have very few friends and I have found true friendships to be rare and precious. This is why I’m cautious in relationships. There’s surface me and deeper me, very few people get to know her. I was bullied at school and it taught me that lesson early on.

The thing I learned was caution and keeping your own counsel.

I've learned recently that people you make friends with while you're depressed and/or anxious, may not like the "you" you become when you break out of it. But, people in general....ugh....