Was disrespected by a so called professional cleaner today

I just need opinions on this. I’m very upset that this cleaning lady who already flaked on me twice just left after coming to my house for 2 minutes.

She was recommended by this lady online. She areived 15 minutes late with no text. Unfortunately I forgot that my husband hid his gun under the couch. I lifted it up to show her to vaccum under there. I saw it and quickly put the cushion back diwn & showed her the bedroom.

I didn’t think she saw it, but she did. Anyways, she didn’t say anything & lied about having to get a helper . She said she’s be back in an hour. She never texted me back or called.

Then the lady who is her other client texted me & said that she is’nt coming back. She didn’t say anything until I kept asking her what she meant.

So she said she saw the gun & that my house is to messy.

I think it’s extremely inappropriate & rude that she would just leave & get her other client to text me for her. Unbelievable!

A lot of people have guns It’s not like I pointed it at her!

And she shouldn’t be a housecleaner if cleaning houses that are messier than average isn’t something she’s willing to do. Weird!

I don’t appreciate liars. Do you think what she did was inappropriate?

Now this other lady thinks that I’m a bad person because of her. So unprofessional!

I should’ve trusted my gut with her. She said she broke her arm a week ago but it’s not in a cast. It looks perfectly fine to me. Weird! She seems dishonest too.

Sorry but I’d run and won’t come back either. Yes people have guns but they do not keep it randomly under the couches. That’s a strange place for a gun. Yes maybe she should have said something but maybe she didn’t feel safe if the first thing she is shown in the new house is a gun. Not everyone is comfortable with guns laying around. I didn’t grow up in gun culture and wouldn’t be comfortable with guns not being locked or concealed.

Messy house is a strange comment though. That’s why you need a cleaner. If your house was clean, you’d not need one. That’s just dumb. Maybe it was just an excuse. Maybe she was bothered by smoke smell or who knows. Good riddance. Find a new cleaner.

But put guns away. You don’t want strangers to know you have a gun laying around

I understand that, however it is extremely rude & unprofessional to just lie & not say anything at all.

Rude! It’s not like I threatened her with it! I forgot it was there. I told my husband to put it away. I am having another cleaning service give me an estimate today.

Hopefully they won’t say oh, this house is to dirty, so we won’t clean your house.

Some places need more cleaning than others do.

The lady who recommended her was out of line. She told this lady to not come back. She is another client.

I told her that she shouldn’t have got involved but I thanked her for at least letting me know about things

Also, I think that lady lied about breaking her arm. It wasn’t in a cast & it looked & moved fine.

Don’t you think that she should’ve at least texted me to say she won’t be coming back?

She should have let you know that she’s not coming back. I agree. But we don’t know her so who knows what’s wrong with her. Hopefully you get a better cleaner.

Dirty house shouldn’t stop cleaners from cleaning.

My daughter and son in law love their cleaning lady. She’s the bluntest person I’ve met and it comes from me, lol blunt person. She opened their oven once and said “that’s disgusting”. Hahah

The "too messy" comment is weird but being scared by a gun is not. I would not hold any of her behaviors that stemmed from her seeing a gun under the couch against her. But yes, get a new cleaning lady and be sure the guns are locked safely before she arrived.

True .She shouldn’t be a house cleaner if she’s going to be this selective about who’s houses she chooses to not clean, lol 😆

Your cleaning lady is funny, lol 😆

It was. It was rude for her to leave & have her other client text me. Wth?

That is very unpleasant to get another client involved! Ridiculous!

It wasn't rude of her to leave after seeing a gun: she could have been scared. In your other thread you report yourself being scared after finding your husband's gun under the couch and yet you knew your husband keeps a gun and for the cleaning lady it was an utter shock. I suggest you put yourself in her shoes and extend empathy to her. I do not think that after the utter shock of seeing that the new client herself was surprised to find a gun under the couch she owed you any of the niceties expected under normal circumstances. The circumstances were not normal and she might not have known how to handle this situation which she had never encountered before.

Regarding involving another client, it was not just a random client but the client who had made the referral, right? Or am I mistaken

I used to clean houses when I was in college and then single mom with low income. If I walked in and saw a gun randomly laying around, I’d be out and never come back. Heck I might not even want to clean houses for gun owners who don’t lock their guns even if I didn’t see the actual gun.

The thing is you got used to guns laying around your house. It doesn’t scare you. But for many people it’s complete nightmare. For all we know maybe she lost someone to gun violence and was triggered. I literally don’t know a single person who keeps guns laying around so for me it would a huge shock and I am not even easily scared.

She didn’t involve someone random. Wasn’t it someone who actually knows her and you?

I do agree it’s stupid to complain that the house is dirty but it depends. Was there initial assessment done? Did she know much work it’s going to be? Like if I was told it’s about 4 hours of work and it will be $100, but when I show up I see that the house probably needs 8 hours of work and the pay is the same, I might change my mind real quick

Ideally she’d text you herself. Yes it would be better. But she was freaked out by a gun and you were not really her client yet. So she thought it was ok to involve someone who made a referral

Yes she could of been honest, the too dirty comment was a excuse, but maybe she was afraid to deal with you directly due to the gun, she might have a gun phobia or thought you would use the gun on her ?

She was obviously intimidated/scared by seeing the weapon and lied to get out of the situation, that's it, guns aren't common household objects for everyone. I would try to not take it so personally.

I disagree. A lot of people own guns first of all. I apologized to her.

The lady who texted me was another long term client who texted me after she told her about the gun.

I think that is highly inappropriate to talk about another client to clients you already know.

I understand. I still think that she should’ve texted me.

She did not do any in home estimates or tell me that she wouldn’t or can’t clean a house she considers to be to messy.

The other client was out of line by telling me that I should have told her that my house was a mess.

That’s her job, not mine. I don’t appreciate that other client getting involved & telling her what she should do.

This is a grown woman, not a child. Ridiculous. It’s rude to discuss other clients personal business with strangers.

I only knew that lady from Nextdoor. The one who made the referral.

It looks like you don’t understand the difference between owning a gun and having a gun in the living room under the couch. It’s not the same thing.

A lot of people own guns but responsible gun owners don’t have guns laying around. You yourself were in shock discovering a gun in your own home under the couch. Your husband even likes to wave it in your face. You were even scared he wanted to kill you. And you are surprised she was scared? This lady doesn’t know you or your husband and soon after arriving to your house she sees a gun. It’s unsettling. I’ve never seen a gun in no one’s house so it’s not like a regular occurrence

Maybe you didn’t have to say verbatim that “my house is a mess”, but I believe it’s house owners responsibility to explain to a cleaner what needs to be done and how much work it is ahead of time

It looks like you actually don’t know any of the ladies. They do know each other, so I don’t think they have any loyalty to you. They are strangers to you. Maybe hire actual cleaning company next time. They would do a proper assessment I think

You were the employer. She was the employee. Have you ever, as an employee, seen those posters in break rooms about OSHA and CalOSHA? Employee safety is the law. It is just that the law does not yet reach the unregulated scenario of domestic services. But workers' rights become stronger and stronger as years go by and what is the law now would have been unheard of just a few decades ago. I can easily imagine how in 10-20 years a person who has gone through the shock you put her through can have a claim against you for infliction of emotional distress. Laws about safety are strict liability law, in other words your state of mind, the fact that you yourself were surprised by finding a gun, is irrelevant. You, as the employer, failed to provide a safe working environment for this woman. That you apologized is not enough, in my opinion. She was scared and she (I agree with the above) simply invented the excuse of a house too messy because she was afraid to tell the truth, that she did not want to stay a minute in the house with an unlocked gun. That is probably she involved that other client: she was afraid to tell you directly. She wasted time on top of being scared: she could have cleaned another house and made money. If I were you, I would text her again, offering not only another apology but also payment for 2 hours (usually all service providers charge a two hour minimum).

I honestly find it shocking that you do not see the situation as that of you failing the duty to provide a safe working environment, and finding excuses such that many people own guns.

I have never cleaned houses but I can put myself in her shoes and tell you for sure that I would not have stayed a minute in your house. And I am not gun-phobic and have never lost anyone to gun violence.

I also find it disturbingly one-sided that when you regard yourself as a victim, you find fault with other people's relatively minor infractions, such as the Big Mama comment not directed individually at you, but when you (unintentionally, but still) inflict serious distress on an innocent victim, you insist on being well within your right to do so.

Similarly, you wrote: "She arrived 15 minutes late with no text. ". So you see her small failing as the employee, but you do not see your big failing as the employer.

The Biblical saying "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" comes to mind.

Her behaviour is not in the least inappropriate. Actually, going to clean someone's house and seeing a gun *hidden* under a couch is what is highly inappropriate and dangerous. I don't know anyone who would not run a mile from such people.

It’s quite difficult for me to get my head around this one, I’m in the UK and guns are only legal if licensed and kept in a locked cabinet. I’d be horrified to see a gun in those circumstances- average people don’t possess guns here. Is it acceptable in the US to have guns lying about unsecured?

It sounds like the messy comment might’ve been an excuse but if she’s self employed she’s entitled to pick and choose clients. It’s a personal as well as professional sort of relationship so I’d say unless you’re comfortable with each other it wouldn’t work out anyhow.

Would you consider making sure the gun is locked out of sight if you get another cleaner?

More people in the US own guns than anywhere else, certainly more than in Europe. That’s probably topic for a different thread. Gun control, or rather lack of it, is a major topic of contention in the states.

Having said that, guns laying around unsecured is unacceptable in the US. It’s not something condoned or encouraged or allowed in any shape or form. Sadly it still happens, obviously this thread is an example that such things still happen, but it’s not a common occurrence for cleaners to go to the house and see a gun.

Same here, I never have understood why people "need" guns.

Some americans argue that if guns get banned, knives should be banned - but guns only have one purpose - kill people. Knives can be used to prepare food, so yes they can be used against people but knives do have another purpose.

But I'm probably off topic now.

I can't see a problem with someone turning tail and getting away from a gun, whether it's hidden somewhere or not.

Probably