wife said shes divorcing me

aphexx13 · Jan 06, 2024 at 12:56 AM

needing some support today anyone there?

Nammu · Jan 06, 2024 at 10:16 AM

What’s going on?

aphexx13 · Jan 06, 2024 at 01:45 PM

Just feeling like there's no way out of the situation I'm in. I cant afford to live alone because all the low income apartments are not available. I keep wanting to save my marriage which isnt realistic. I want to go to sleep and not wake up

eskielover · Jan 06, 2024 at 02:01 PM

Do those low income apartments have a waiting list? Now would be a good time to focus on getting your name on those lists rather than waiting. That will give you something to focus on doing.

divine1966 · Jan 06, 2024 at 02:53 PM

Low cost/subsidized apartments are hard to come by and wait lists are long. How about renting a room in someone’s house? Post it on nextdoor. We had neighbours offering people a room for just a few hundreds a month because people were facing homelessness.

eskielover · Jan 06, 2024 at 03:20 PM

Always good to get the name on the lists thougb. When renting a room, one never knows how the dynamics will go when there is another person involved but definitely a room is a good temporary solution

divine1966 · Jan 06, 2024 at 03:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eskielover

Always good to get the name on the lists thougb. When renting a room, one never knows how the dynamics will go when there is another person involved but definitely a room is a good temporary solution

I agree! I just meant that in a meanwhile there might a room available somewhere and who knows, worth the try.

aphexx13 · Jan 06, 2024 at 04:28 PM

yes waiting list is long. i have a few more to try.

aphexx13 · Jan 06, 2024 at 04:29 PM

i will keep that in mind. i know its a waste of time but i keep trying to think of the right words and actions to fix our marriage. any little thing from my wife gives me hope maybe false hope. like yesterday we hung out all day watching tv because she through her back out. the kids are away so we slept in separate beds. we were both on our phones and she sent me a tik tok of of cats that was cute. i immediately felt a rush of hope.

Molinit · Jan 06, 2024 at 07:28 PM

Investing your energy into a dead marriage is a waste and you should be concentrating on finding a place to live. Get on the lists, yes, but look on Craigslist for people renting out a room.

I had a period in life where I lived in a "rooming house" and it wasn't bad. People stay out of your business, I had a lock on my door in one so I didn't have to worry about my stuff, and in the other house I didn't have a lock but the people whose house I was living in were absolutely trustworthy, as was I. You can also look for a roommate situation.

divine1966 · Jan 06, 2024 at 09:14 PM

Staying married because you can’t afford your own place is a wrong reason for staying married. Look for the room as several of us suggested.

In the future I beg you to refrain from accumulating such high number of pets, or any pets. In absence of stability and lacking family or friends, who can help in crisis, it’s not a responsible decision.

aphexx13 · Jan 06, 2024 at 10:54 PM

i think you mis read we have 3 cats and i only want 1 of them even though i love all 3

eskielover · Jan 07, 2024 at 01:16 AM

Better figure out your living situation before ever getting even one of the cats. Some places don't allow pets especially if renting a room. You need to not limit your possibilities on your living situation. That is your highest priority at this point, not whether you want one of the cats

divine1966 · Jan 07, 2024 at 02:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aphexx13

i think you mis read we have 3 cats and i only want 1 of them even though i love all 3

3 cats is a high number of pets. In your situation even one is one too many

Have Hope · Jan 08, 2024 at 04:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aphexx13

Just feeling like there's no way out of the situation I'm in. I cant afford to live alone because all the low income apartments are not available. I keep wanting to save my marriage which isnt realistic. I want to go to sleep and not wake up

So sorry you're feeling so down and stuck. Can you find a roommate to live with or move in with?

Have Hope · Jan 08, 2024 at 04:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aphexx13

i will keep that in mind. i know its a waste of time but i keep trying to think of the right words and actions to fix our marriage. any little thing from my wife gives me hope maybe false hope. like yesterday we hung out all day watching tv because she through her back out. the kids are away so we slept in separate beds. we were both on our phones and she sent me a tik tok of of cats that was cute. i immediately felt a rush of hope.

Best to try not to feed false hopes. I don't think in this specific situation there is any mending to be done. I think she's just trying to be cordial and friendly.

aphexx13 · Jan 08, 2024 at 09:39 AM

no i dont have a place yet. still looking. thanks for the hope. i just found out that my wife is already dating after she said she wanted to be alone for a while to work on herself. another lie. im angry at myself because i thought she would miss me and change her mind. im also angry that she couldnt even wait to get divorced.

divine1966 · Jan 08, 2024 at 03:31 PM

I wonder if that’s why she wants a divorce. She already has someone lined up. Some people are despicable. So desperate that can’t even wait appropriate amount of time.

aphexx13 · Jan 08, 2024 at 04:09 PM

well she just started talking to this guy last Saturday. im not sure if there was someone before him or not. she doesnt know that i know about this guy. im not about to try and diagnose her but i wonder if she is bpd? i was devalued so fast and now shes already trying to line someone else up.

eskielover · Jan 08, 2024 at 04:18 PM

Quote:

i was devalued so fast and now shes already trying to line someone else up.

Are you sure you were ever valued in the first place. From what you have written here, I doubt it... but then I also wonder if her value to you was a house to live in when you left where you were living.

Reasons for marriage can come under the guise of many other things on both parts & may not be firm foundations for a marriage that grows. Best to find out now before wasting more time in a failed marriage

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wife said shes divorcing me

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aphexx13 Member Member Since Dec 2023 Location: cumming ga Posts: 52 19 hugs given	Jan 06, 2024 at 12:56 AM #61 needing some support today anyone there?
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Nammu Crone Member Since May 2010 Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system. Posts: 71,734 (SuperPoster!) 14 53.9k hugs given	Jan 06, 2024 at 10:16 AM #62 What’s going on? __________________ *Nammu* …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann
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aphexx13 Member Member Since Dec 2023 Location: cumming ga Posts: 52 19 hugs given	Jan 06, 2024 at 01:45 PM #63 Just feeling like there's no way out of the situation I'm in. I cant afford to live alone because all the low income apartments are not available. I keep wanting to save my marriage which isnt realistic. I want to go to sleep and not wake up
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divine1966 Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Dec 2014 Location: US Posts: 22,470 (SuperPoster!) 9 1,279 hugs given	Jan 06, 2024 at 02:53 PM #65 Low cost/subsidized apartments are hard to come by and wait lists are long. How about renting a room in someone’s house? Post it on nextdoor. We had neighbours offering people a room for just a few hundreds a month because people were facing homelessness.
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aphexx13 Member Member Since Dec 2023 Location: cumming ga Posts: 52 19 hugs given	Jan 06, 2024 at 04:28 PM #68 yes waiting list is long. i have a few more to try.
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divine1966 Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Dec 2014 Location: US Posts: 22,470 (SuperPoster!) 9 1,279 hugs given	Jan 06, 2024 at 09:14 PM #71 Staying married because you can’t afford your own place is a wrong reason for staying married. Look for the room as several of us suggested. In the future I beg you to refrain from accumulating such high number of pets, or any pets. In absence of stability and lacking family or friends, who can help in crisis, it’s not a responsible decision.
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aphexx13 Member Member Since Dec 2023 Location: cumming ga Posts: 52 19 hugs given	Jan 06, 2024 at 10:54 PM #72 i think you mis read we have 3 cats and i only want 1 of them even though i love all 3
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aphexx13 Member Member Since Dec 2023 Location: cumming ga Posts: 52 19 hugs given	Jan 08, 2024 at 09:39 AM #77 no i dont have a place yet. still looking. thanks for the hope. i just found out that my wife is already dating after she said she wanted to be alone for a while to work on herself. another lie. im angry at myself because i thought she would miss me and change her mind. im also angry that she couldnt even wait to get divorced.
	Reply With Quote

divine1966 Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Dec 2014 Location: US Posts: 22,470 (SuperPoster!) 9 1,279 hugs given	Jan 08, 2024 at 03:31 PM #78 I wonder if that’s why she wants a divorce. She already has someone lined up. Some people are despicable. So desperate that can’t even wait appropriate amount of time.
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aphexx13 Member Member Since Dec 2023 Location: cumming ga Posts: 52 19 hugs given	Jan 08, 2024 at 04:09 PM #79 well she just started talking to this guy last Saturday. im not sure if there was someone before him or not. she doesnt know that i know about this guy. im not about to try and diagnose her but i wonder if she is bpd? i was devalued so fast and now shes already trying to line someone else up.
	Reply With Quote