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Member
Member Since Oct 2023
Location: Bangalore
Posts: 167
1 11 hugs
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#1
I am trying to study. Unfortunately I get triggered very often by my mother. Some people are telling me it’s my fault. I feel like I cannot speak to her normally. I wish to tell people that if I can let my mother go, I can leave others also. No one means much, but that would be a distorted way of thinking. Just because I leave my mother, it doesn’t mean I leave others too. I actually really hate my family problems. I wish she would go to therapy with me but sometimes it all feels pointless. I shouldn’t have listened to my auntie, who told me to argue with her and not let her control me. I knew she wouldn’t listen but I still did. I don’t know what to do. After my sister gets married. Somehow things are going this way. I first of all find it hard to believe that I have such problems. Is my mom arguing with my sister? Maybe. She made my sister cry a few days before her fiancé came to our house. My sister told me that ever since I got into mental health issues I have been ill treating her. How I wish she knew that it is difficult to act normal when stressed. All I need is my mother looking at me while talking to stress me out. I feel so lost.
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unaluna
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Member
Member Since Oct 2023
Location: Bangalore
Posts: 167
1 11 hugs
given |
#2
I told my mom
“I know a lot of things are more important to you than me. So I’ll go. And I’ll come back when I can be a better daughter.” |
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 12,666
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#3
Your aunt gave you bad advice. Whenever you get drawn into arguing, you are letting the other person control you. Being independent means you make your own plans and you don't have to explain or defend yourself. Arguing with your mom is basically you pleading with her to accept you in the way you'ld like her to. Don't plead. If she's the argumentive type, let her do the talking and just don't respond. Be polite, but don't get verbally jerked around. Sometimes, the most effective way to project personal power is to simply stay calm and quiet.
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eskielover
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