Learned my lesson

My lesson is to check in and read posts to keep up because if your not really participating for a week this place takes off like a rocket. Well, I am caught up finally. When I came on here today I didn't have anything to say and didn't feel like it. A few posts really pulled me out and I had to reply.
As for me, I'm still in Norway. Still separated from my husband, havent found a way back to the states. It's been good for me to be away. I have seen my husband almost every day and we have had good talks. He wants me to stay, begged me to stay, said he realized he was taking me for granted, knows that I am not asking for anything much just a normal life and to be included in his life, will do whatever he has to or can to make my life good here if I stay etc etc etc. I believe he is sincere but I dont know if he can follow thru. Now I am more confused because when I left I was leaving but now that he has seen "the light" I could be walking away and making a mistake and I will always wonder "what if". Not wanting to wonder "what if" is what got me here and now its what is making me think about staying. I just dont know. I dont have a place to stay after this weekend. I havent gotten financial support from any family or friends. I did get an offer to use a car but that comes with strings attached which I cant agree too. Most of my "friends" sent emails saying "sorry to hear its been bad. Take care" I havent heard anything from most of my family and the ones that I did hear from think I should stick it out. My sister in law offered me a place to stay but my own brother didn't, he said I should stay with a freind (the only other that offered a place) even though it's well over an hour from a larger city and 1.5 hours from any other family or friends.
Confused, lost, feeling a little alone.
Life wasnt supposed to be this hard anymore.
Well, I am still hanging in and taking it one day at a time and baby steps. Those are the best words of advice.
Welcome to the new people and hello to all you "old" ones.
Heidu

I forgot to add that Valentines Day was my 2nd Anniversary. When my husband and I got married I asked if I could use my grandmothers wedding ring she passed on to me when she died. He agreed. However, in Norway they wear wedding rings on the right hand and so it really gets in the way and is not comfortable to wear. I had told my husband months after we got married that I wanted a plain wedding band. (traditional in Norway also). Guess what I got? When I said I was really surprised he just said "you should've gotten it a long time ago". Just added to my confusion of course.
Now I shall shut up!!
Heidu

Hi there...I'm new to this site. I don't know all of the circumstances regarding your relationship with your husband. But, I do know what it is like to have a husband to ask for a second chance....LOL!!! sorry......it's about the 17th chance I've given my husband!!!! We have been married for almost 23 yrs, but we live separate from each other. We do see each other quite a bit. He still keeps on trying to gain my trust in him...but he blows it for himself sooo many times. I'm glad that we live separately....it has worked out best for us. But I'm not saying that is the thing for you to do.

After 22 yrs you have a lot of history with each other!!! It's difficult to just walk away. Deep in my husbands heart I think he does love me but that he has issues that he needs to seek professional help for.

It does sound like you want to give your marriage another try..but that you have some reservations about doing so. I would proceed....but with caution. Have the two of you ever been in marriage counseling? It might be what you both need to repair your relationship.

From what I know of problems they rarely go away without working on them. And that's really what it takes. Two people that are committed to their marriage and are willing to bring change to themselves.

Whatever you decide remember...it isn't written in cement! You are allowed to change your mind. I wish you well in whatever choice you make.

Sweet

"It's never too late to be what you might have been". George Eliot

Thanks Sweet. We started counseling but it only works if you both want it too and put something into it.
We've been married 2 years and it's been bad since right after the I do's.
I do have serious reservations about giving him another chance and like you said he has had alot already. It's a bit tough because I am from America but am with him in Norway and because of our problems I have not had a chance to make a life for myself here. I have a couple friends but no family to lean on. Living apart right now would be great but it's not an option after this weekend. I have no where to go and no means of supporting myself. (it't tough to get a job until I am fluent in the language).
Right now I am just going to bed and try to forget today. It's been a tough one. It's 11:30pm here.
Nitey nite.
Heidu

Hugs Heidu. I have missed you here. I wish things were not so hard. Maybe you should consider your friend's offer in america. Even if she is out in the boonies... at least you would be out of Norway... just a thought.
Concerned,
Willow

I agree with Willow on re-considering, come back to the US, you are young, you have your whole life ahead of you, and life is too short to be miserable, you owe it to yourself to be happy.
Wishing you lots of love and luck
"darkeyes"

Thanks you guys. I am doing alot of thinking. I dont have a way to even get back to the states right now so I guess its ok to see if he can "prove" himself for a little bit. I am not giving in too much. I said in order for me to give him another chance I ahve to open my heart again and that scares me. He said I dont have to do that. He will so the work and I just have to see. It's real confusing. I wish I could have left weeks ago. At the extreme earliest I would be able to go in April.
I have seriously considered staying with my friend but without a car and the ability to buy one it wont work. I wont be able to get a job. ITs a bit screwed up.
My husband went to a funeral this week for a friend who died suddenly of a heart attack. He was only 29. It really hit my husband and he said he felt we were wasting time living apart. He wants to live together and really get going on being together and making a life. He said he realized life is short and we shouldnt waste time. I told him I agreed and I have felt that way always. The problem is for 2 years I ahve been sitting in this dead end and I dont want to do it anymore. Sometimes he actually gets stuff!!
Anyway, I am just rambling. I am stuck here for now so I wont put much into anything but maybe a miracle will happen. I will know if it does and staying is the right thing to do. If not I'm outta here.
Heidu