Update - Moving On. New Phone Number. New Life (PIcs Inside)

unaluna · Apr 13, 2024, 12:18 AM

thanks lady!

unaluna · Apr 13, 2024, 10:17 AM

LadyShadow, this really spoke to me today. I found the beatty book on kindle. Thanks again!

LadyShadow · Apr 13, 2024, 07:28 PM

Hey there @unaluna ! I am so glad you found the book! I have been looking at it a while now, taking little bits and pieces each day.

I am backtracking today, I was listening to "Green Eyes" by Coldplay - it was a song my husband used to sing to me, and I started bawling. Now that he is gone, I am missing him so much, and I just think of myself as such as masochist, beating myself with the stick and causing self-inflicting wounds. What is my obsession? Do I need his love that badly?

Then I read today's lesson from the Language of Letting Go and it all makes sense. Why don't I let myself feel enjoyment?

Excerpt from “The Language of Letting Go” (April 13 - Enjoyment):

One of the prohibitions many of us learned in childhood is the unspoken rule: don’t have fun and enjoy life. This rule creates martyrs - people who will not let themselves embrace the pleasures of day-to-day living. Many of us associated suffering with some sort of sainthood. Now, we associate it with codependency. We can go through the day making ourselves feel anxious, guilty, miserable, and deprived. Or we can allow ourselves to go through that same day feeling good. In recovery, we eventually learn the choice is ours. There is much to be enjoyed each day, and it is okay to feel good. We can let ourselves enjoy our tasks. We can learn to relax without guilt. We can even learn to have fun. Work at learning to have fun. Apply yourself with dedication to learning enjoyment. Work as hard at learning to have fun as you did at feeling miserable. Our work will pay off. Fun will become fun. Life will become worth living. And each day, we’ll find many pleasures to be enjoyed.

LadyShadow · Apr 14, 2024, 02:56 PM

Today is a hard day, but I wanted to share today's excerpt from Language of Letting Go - April 14th.

Knowing that no one is perfect, neither me or my husband, and I can't expect the "perfect" relationship.

Recovery from codependency is an individual process that necessitates making mistakes, struggling through problems, and facing tough issues. Expecting ourselves to be perfect slows this process; it puts us in a guilty and anxious state. Expecting others to be perfect is equally destructive; it makes others feel ashamed and may interfere with their growth. People are human and vulnerable, and that is wonderful. We can accept and cherish that idea. Expecting others to be perfect puts us in that codependent state of moral superiority. Expecting ourselves to be perfect makes us feel rigid and inferior. We can let go of both ideas. We do not need to go to the other extreme; tolerating anything people throw our way. We can still expect appropriate, responsible behavior from ourselves. But most of us can afford to loosen up a bit. And when we stop expecting others to be perfect, we may discover that they’re doing much better than we thought. When we stop expecting ourselves to be perfect, we’ll discover the beauty in ourselves. Today, I will practice tolerance, acceptance, and love of others as they are, and myself as I am.”

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Update - Moving On. New Phone Number. New Life (PIcs Inside)

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