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PhilMC
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Default Jun 15, 2024 at 05:54 PM
  #21
He can be immature and I remind him of his consistent teenage boy jokes. He knew what I was talking about. But then he gets called out on doing exactly what he told me not to do. Then he blocks me for replying accordingly. His conversations are empty and were much better back in the day. He's married to a very disturbed woman and she creates a lot of destruction, and I don't know what he spends his time doing. This odd family dynamic provides the foundation for their son's ADHD. Anyway, I think I lost a friend.
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eskielover
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Default Jun 15, 2024 at 11:38 PM
  #22
Sounds to me like that isn't the kind of "friend" I would want & probably much better off with him blocking you. Sounds like your job was more criticizing his failings & immarurity. Maybe he wants to just be that way & didn't appreciate your criticism.

Sounds like you are better off without his life drama & he will be happier without your criticism of it. Sounds like it was a pretty dysfunctional "friendship" from what you describe

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PhilMC
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Default Jun 16, 2024 at 04:41 AM
  #23
I've been thinking the same. Running out of friends while my life collapses. Excellent.
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Default Jun 16, 2024 at 07:44 AM
  #24
Sorry you’re having a tough time. I think it’s not uncommon to realise in this situation that certain people aren’t capable of being there for us emotionally. It’s tough though.
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Default Jun 16, 2024 at 09:08 AM
  #25
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I've been thinking the same. Running out of friends while my life collapses. Excellent.
If they aren't "TRUE FRIENDS" in the first place then you aren't really running out of friends. I call it "cleaning house".

When I clean house it becomes a larger mess while I am doing it & looks & feels horrible but when I am done it is a beautiful transformation

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Default Jun 16, 2024 at 10:48 AM
  #26
Doesn't really sound like you lost anything of value. Even if you would've called this person a friend, they obviously were more of a source of stress than mutual support and healthy connection.

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Default Jun 16, 2024 at 08:05 PM
  #27
It sounds like there are people in your world who don't want to be as close to you, as you want to be to them. I've been through that, and it's hurtful. Maybe, in the past, they did seem to be interested in a closer relationship. Then, for reasons of their own, they have retreated to a greater distance. It happened to me with an ex-roommate. We were friends, shared an apartment and did stuff together. Eventually, I found a place of my own and she got married. Pretty soon, I seldom heard from her. Then I moved far away. After a while, I mailed her a letter, saying I would be in her area and would like to visit her. She never responded, which caused me some hurt feelings.

When someone doesn't respond to us, I think that's a message that they want more distance from us. They don't want to be as close, as we want to be. It's a form of rejection. That stings. But I think we just have to accept their decision. I think it's unwise to invest a lot in anyone who is not investing in us.
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Default Jun 17, 2024 at 08:15 AM
  #28
Texting is a tough one because I have some friends I've known for 30 years that text once in a blue moon, but really never enter into a conversation. It might just be an errand thought or dumping a news item. There are others who immediately delve into a long drawn out conversation because that's what texting is to them. If I really need to speak to my friend of some 30 years, I will call him and then we could talk for hours, but texting? Lucky if I get two responses. So if I were in your shoes, I would start defining who are conversationalists in text and others who need a phone call. People are not all alike, so their forms of communication will differ as well,
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Default Jun 19, 2024 at 07:57 AM
  #29
I should know all this. It's been there all this time. Having friends is tough.
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Default Jun 19, 2024 at 09:22 AM
  #30
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I should know all this. It's been there all this time. Having friends is tough.
I think sometimes we do realise these uncomfortable facts about friends but it can be a tough call deciding if we distance or not, I know myself I’m often concerned I may have it ‘wrong’ or judging someone harshly - then it plays out and my instinct is proven right.

All part of being human I think.
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Default Jun 19, 2024 at 04:55 PM
  #31
He's been odd for years. I just don't understand how he survives with his choices.
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Default Jun 20, 2024 at 07:48 PM
  #32
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He's been odd for years. I just don't understand how he survives with his choices.
Some things in life we just can never understand....& it is NOT OUR PROBLEM.

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PhilMC
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Default Jun 20, 2024 at 08:00 PM
  #33
Well it kind of is my problem. I've invested a lot into this dude since I was 17. Decades. To be honest I really have no clue why he behaves like this. But I get what you're saying.
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Default Jun 21, 2024 at 06:24 AM
  #34
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Well it kind of is my problem. I've invested a lot into this dude since I was 17. Decades. To be honest I really have no clue why he behaves like this. But I get what you're saying.
Yea, just because WE choose to invest a lot into someone doesn't make it our problem....WE make it our problem.

I invested 33 years in my marriage but when it really started to destroy me I walked away. His choices were my problem when I was married to him. His behaviors & choices left me with financial issues but I chose for my own well being NOT to keep making him my problem. I have enough issues dealing with the stupid financial issues he caused....don't need to make his continuing bad choices be my problem. He has to live with them....not me

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Default Jun 21, 2024 at 07:34 AM
  #35
I texted my psychologist this morning to verify my telephone appointment for later. I ended it with Good Luck" in response to what she had sent me a couple of days ago. I fat-fingered it by accident and the word Luck. If you remove the L, a certain letter will make that sound not good. I am so embarrassed.

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PhilMC
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Default Jun 21, 2024 at 09:13 AM
  #36
Well you'll have to explain that one. Heh.
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eskielover
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Default Jun 21, 2024 at 09:06 PM
  #37
My phone service has been bad in my rural area lately including texting. We had a group text going on & a few responses came through saying "I'll be there" or "sorry can't make it". I am like "WHAT?" I actually texted a "?" that showed up in the stream but no text that everyone seemed to be responding to. 2 hours later my phone was flooded with ALL the texts that hadn't come through & found out then what I was invited to. Hmmmm, my texting problems seem to be from the phone service provider & not my friends.

Oh yes, I stopped auto correct on my phone cause I was sending all kinds of crazy text messages that made no sense.

Technology itself can add its own twist to the texting problem

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Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018
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