Difficulties at work socially

Although my job often focuses more on working independently, we have hour and a half meetings where there is expected participation, and there were a couple of work parties recently, although rare.

At my previous job, I felt that I belonged more, but I have been here 5 years and feel very isolated. I have a hard time communicating in groups, but I enjoy making connections with people individually. I understand that some people might mistaken my quiet nature as indifference and unfriendliness when really it is a combination of having both social anxiety and being on the introverted side. I guess I feel stuck and as if people have made their mind up about me, but I can't help but also feel like the place is not a very friendly atmosphere, and it feels like there is a clique. I really have tried to make an effort, even in my own small way recently, but it has not gotten me that far.

I'm wondering if anyone can relate to being more on the quiet side at work and how to cope with social or "group" situations?

Thank you.

I was kinda quiet at work. Was part of a computer engineering group that did military contracts. Had to do presentations to the military every few months. It wasn't a really big company but we had a gym membership & lots of the guys I worked with & I played racquetball at lunch & had tournaments a couple of times a year. Also had a fun ballroom dance instruction group that met & practiced weekly. I only got involved with the people who had common interests & the group of engineers I worked with. Didn't do anything other than that socially though. One family I got to know had a son the age of my daughter & we did go backpacking & skiing together a few times. I like limiting social at work because otherwise it can complicate the work environment & I was there to do my job & not be social

Meh. I wouldn't sweat it. Work environments can be tricky. I suppose the best thing to do is simply keep your head down, do your job, and let things go as they may. There will always be cliques. Just avoid them. Otherwise you could be setting yourself up for a lot of drama.

I’m quieter too, I don’t do cliques or gossip, it’s just not my way, although I’m friendly enough with everyone. It’s never caused trouble for me and I’ve found a few people open up around me more , I suspect because they know I won’t gossip.

@xRavenx, I am very similar to you. What I try to do in those group situations is a focus on 1 or 2 people sitting next to me and I try to strike up a conversation with them, 1:1. If that doesn't work, then I sit quietly listening to the group's conversation and smile and nod or laugh when appropriate. That shows you are participating in some fashion, even though you're not sharing or talking in the group. When I feel awkward, I just smile to myself and tell myself that these people do not need to be my friends. Work is different than normal life. At work, we have to put on a bit of a facade - we have to pretend to be interested or enthusiastic when we may not be, and we have to be engaged in our work when sometimes we may not feel like it. Work is all about putting on a facade to a certain extent, at least from my perspective. So, I take on the old "fake it 'til you make it" kind of approach and attitude. Finally, I don't expect my work colleagues to be my friends. I have friendships outside of work I rely on. But at work? I am there to get a job done, and to earn a paycheck. That's the way you need to view work colleagues. They don't have to be your friends. I hope this helps somewhat, or at the very least, to help you feel like you're not alone with this issue.

I can 100% relate. I am highly sensitive and pick up on emotions or the energy of the room.

I often feel different at work.

Then I text a few trusted friends to get their perspective.

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Thanks everyone for your input. I feel less alone.