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Grand Member
Member Since May 2013
Posts: 867
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Today at 10:33 AM
#101
It's amazing how much I question myself after my interactions with her.
There are so many things that are plausible, or possible, and maybe I said something wrong, maybe I misunderstood something that she said, or whatever. I feel guilty now for any assumptions I may have made about her intentions. |
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 ArmorPlate108, Open Eyes
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,242
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Today at 12:05 PM
#102
That’s called cognitive dissonance. That’s what happens when experiencing an ongoing toxic relationship.
Also self blaming can bring on a sense of control. |
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 ArmorPlate108
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Grand Member
Member Since May 2013
Posts: 867
11 97 hugs
given
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Today at 12:38 PM
#103
I think you told me that before about self blame.
Thank you for reminding me. |
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Member
Member Since Mar 2022
Location: In the west
Posts: 436
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Today at 01:53 PM
#104
Disordered people love vague/indirect communication. There's so much power in it. It's quite often how they get others to doubt themselves.
Even something as simple as deciding to order a pizza- you felt that they were on board, only to spend the next few days hearing about what a terrible experience it was, they didn't want it, and the ongoing misery is all your fault.  Codependency recovery focuses a lot on learning/relearning direct, polite, and tactful communication just for your own sake of sanity. It boggles the mind how often you ask a simple question and get an answer that's vague and indirect- or one that just plain runs off into the weeds. I've learned to ask very specific questions AND expect very direct answers in return. Repeat as necessary until the answer is direct. Harder than you can imagine for some disordered people. 
Last edited by ArmorPlate108; Today at 02:08 PM.. |
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