Elder Abuse? What should I do?

Omg, I think that my dad is dying. He has prostrate cancer & blood clots.

He just finished round 2 of chemotherapy too. He has 4 more rounds to go.

I just talked to him & his wallet is gone. I think my psycho sister stole it. She’s a career criminal.

My mom & my sister left him to go stay with her b.f. They had a big fight. They’ve been gone for a week and a half.

They didn’t call or stop by once. My husband stopped by the other day since he went out of town for business.

He said that the house is filthy & that there is human feces all over the floor there.

My dad couldn’t even get up off the couch. My husband had to lift him up. He also lost his phone under the bed. It was off for 3 days.

I want to contact elder abuse but my husband told me that I would make things worse.

I’m so confused. How would that make things worse? He said that I don’t know what’s going on.

My mom blocked me as my calls went straight to v.m. My sister blocked me over 10 years ago.

They are both crazy. My mom is severely mentally ill & unmedicated.

My sister probably blocked me on my moms phone to keep me in the dark about things.

She is the sole executor of my dads will. I know she wants to keep everything to herself.

They didn’t call me. My sister did talk to my husband & so did my mom. She said that a social worker would be coming over today.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t have a good relationship with him, but it’s not right to let him rot in a disgusting house alone.

How is he going to get money for food or a ride? He uses a walker & he can’t drive anymore.

He’s not that close to any family or friends.

My husband is not being supportive of all aside from helping him when he stopped by.

Why would contacting elder abuse make things worse? I’d appreciate any help.

is a social worker visiting the house? It sounds like that’s what your sister is saying will happen.? If so surely they are going to see the state the home is in.

Sorry you’re going through this, it sounds a very tough situation.

It’s awful but didn’t you recently say you blocked them all? You also told them to not contact you? How would they contact you? None of you are talking to each other.

It’s nice of your husband to visit but if you want to report it, I think you should visit too so you can see how bad it is.

If you were going to report it it would be to Adult Protective Services but you'd have to have seen for yourself what you are reporting. They can't take 3rd party information.

It doesn't sound like a good situation at all. Is a nursing home a possiblity? He's likely to get weaker as chemo progresses and need more help.

Idk, maybe. I called him agsin & he daid that they’re coming ober tomorrow.

He doesn’t know when though.

Yes, my block was temporary. I blocked my dad for a few months with email. He kept harassing me about my weight. I told him to stop it but he sent me a letter after I blocked him. He has zero respect for me & my boundaries.

My sister blocked me in 2016. I haven’t heard or seem from her since then.

My mom stopped talking to me a few years ago. I went off on her as she wouldn’t stop nagging me to death.

She made me husband snap at her once when she nagged him & he almost left me to get away from her. So, that’s how bad she is.

She literally won’t stop talking even when you set boundaries. And it’s always about the same stuff too.

I didn’t block my mom though.

They should’ve told me what’s going on. My sister & my mom might just leave him there. They had a big fight recently.

I didn’t realize that I have to see everything in person. I’ll need to go there & suprise him as if I say anything, my psycho sister will get him out of the house so I can’t come in.

Thanks for letting me know that. How could I make things worse though?

The other option you have, and it may be the best (it's fastest), is that if you get there and he's in the same shape your husband found him in, call 911 for an ambulance. He's clearly very weak and need medical attention.

I won't go into the whole story but my estranged father had a stroke and laid in his own urine for up to 3 days before anyone noticed. He was mentally ill and had just told the neighbors to leave him alone. He did this from time to time and then he'd turn around and be friendly again. So they just assumed he was doing the same thing until the 3rd day that nobody had seen him. He was in pretty bad shape when they found him. Believe me, you don't want to have that happen. I hadn't seen him in 20 years and I still felt guilty.

I'm sorry you are going through this. I know it's really hard.

I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s horrible. He lives 6-7 hours away & I work f/t.

If I didn’t have to work on Sunday, I would’ve gone down there.