Elder abuse? What should I do about my dad? Please help!

My dad has prostrate cancer & blood clots now. He recently completed round 3 out of 6 chemotherapy treatments.

He uses a walker now. My mom & my sister left him alone for 1 1/2 weeks alone acter a fight They moved to her new boyfriends house in the same city.

They didn’t stop by the check on him or call him. My uncle didn’t check up on him either & he also lives in the same town.

I confirmed this with my dad on the phone. My mom & sister blocked me & no one will tell me whay is going on. Not even my uncle.

My dad gave me vague information. Only a social worker shower up once & she talked to my sister but she wouldn’t let my dad talk to him.

He has two social workers, one for Kaiser & one regular one. My sister supposedly called a social worker, but I did too, do I don’t know if she actually called one or not or if they came there because of me.

My husband stopped by the house recently on a business trip & he said the floor was disgusting & that thete was human feces on the floor & that the house smelled so bad that he could only stay there for 20 minutes.

My dad couldn’t get up. My husband had to help him up. He also lost his phone. It was off for 3 days & the battery was drained. My husband found it under his bef.

He misplaced his wallet & one debit card went missing.. My sister & him had a fight about that & she called him a liar. His wallet was found recently in the house.

I talked to two social workers. The msin one is rude. She lashed out at me & a cused me of accusing ger of not returning calls. I did call her, but I didn’t accuse her of not returning my calls.

She called me one time & told me to call her direct line & that my dad isn’t her only client. She had a nasty attitude. Can I change social workers or not?

I think that only my dad can do that. I talked to the social worker of the day who was much nicer & more paitient & he said this to me:

If my dad be ones incapacitated, the state will appoint a conservatorship to him. He will have no choice to where he ends up then.

When he dies, the state & the conservatorship will decide what hsppens to the house & his assets.

He has a trust to where my career criminal unmedicated bipolar sister will take over everything.

I lnow that she plans to leave me wtnothing. She’ll probably forge my signature on the legal documents when she sells the house. She comiittted identity theft before with her ex boyfriend. He got deported as he was an illegal immigrant at the time it occurred

He used 2 clients credit card to charge over $20000 each. She was the mastermind behind everything m. She was questioned & let go.

She didn’t participate in the dirty work. She had him do everyto avoid getting into trouble. That’s how sneaky she is. My husband & I know that she’s guilty.

She also attacked me & 3 ex boyfriends in the past. She went to jail for the first assault. She claimef they beat her. That’s not a coincidence, it’s a pattern. She’s a psychopath!

Anyways, my dad finally agreed to movr into an assisted living facility this week. Supposedly my sister will be helping him find a place.

He’s very cheap & able to still get around using Uber. He can’t drive anymore but he’s still lucid enough to go to the bank.

He said that he’ll call me this week to explain more things. For now though he said don’t telk to anyone & don’t tell anyone anything.

I don’t understand why he’d tell me that. What would happen if I mention that to the social worker m?

I get the bad feeling that my sister is hiding something. I don’t kniw if she has power of attorney or not right now.

I sure hope not as she does not have his best interests at heart.

It sounds like the house is in such bad shspe that ot will probably be red taped when it comes time to sell it.

I plan on visiting him soon as I now have a week off work since my only client went on vacation.

What is going on & what should I do? My sister & my mom are deliberately not telling me anything.

This is upsetting to me. My mom talked to me up until 3-4 years ago.

My evil sister blocked me on her phone back in 2016. My mom had no one & no friends & she isn’t close to ant family, so she relues on my sister cir everything m.

My sister had lived at home on & off for the last 25 plus years. My calks go straight to v.m, so I lnow I was blocked. My dad won’t tell them to unblock me.

Obviously my whole family is extremely dysfunctional & toxic.

I was never close to my dad, but still, the thought of him bring left there to probably die in his own filth disgusts me. He didn’t even realize that my sister probably left him there hoping he’d fall & die.

She is evil. He finally realized that I was right, tget did leave him there to die & they still haven’t come back to the house in weeks. They were last there sometime over two weeks ago or more. Supposedly a cleaning service was supposed to come over.

What should I do? No one is supporting or helping me including my own husband!

My sister & my mom didn’t block my husbands number. He talked to my mom who was hysterical so my sister talked to him on tbe phone.

My mom has a sever untreated paranoid delusional schizophrenia disorder I think & is unmedicated.

My sister has her wrapped around her finger. Sane with my dad. Can someone please tell me what I should do?

What’s up with my dad not wanting me to tell anyone anything? I have the bad feeling that my sister is hiding something.

The social worker called my sister & she didn’t answer the phone or return her call.

I can’t get much information w/o my dads consent. Supposedly he gave it to them . I’m so lost & confused as well as angry. I’d appreciate any advice.

I am so sorry you are in that situation. From what I read, it sounds complicated, so perhaps you might want to consider getting some opinions from an attorney or legal professional. This kind of things isn't usually free, but sometimes it is the only way to get good advice and clarity. So sorry again. Sounds like a very heartbreaking situation.

PS: Some cities have free or low cost legal clinics. You can call the Bar Association where you to live to see if and where there are free or low cost legal clinics in your area.

Thanks for the info. I can’t afford a lawyer unfortunately. I’ll try to get a free consultation though soon.

Aren’t consultations usually free?

Start documenting everything that has happened. Could your dad stay with you? Talk to a lawyer who specializes in elderly abuse.

I have. I also told my dad to do that, but knowing him, he didn’t listen to me. He trusts my sister to much.

He’s extremely gullible when it comes to her & she’s a snake.

My dad said he’d tell me more tomorrow. I’ll look into getting consultation with a lawyer soon. I’ll probably drive 7-8 hours to visit him at home soon. I have some time off now as my client is on vacation now.

Have you considered getting cameras that don’t look like cameras?

The problem is that I’ll need to install them & I don’t even have the key to my dads house. I’ll ask to get a copy made when I’m there.

Good idea to do