Unsure…

I’m not sure where the most appropriate spot would be for my question, but since it involves a relationship, I figured here might work 🤷🏻*♀️

I’ve been involved with this man since Nov 2015. It started out as a clear “fwb” situation. I developed feelings which complicated things. I tried to end the relationship, but each time I attempted… he suddenly became very attentive and I’d ultimately continue seeing him. Throughout though, he would stress we are NOT in a “relationship” and “are just having fun”. However, each time I’d try to end it, he would say how much he cared about me. Over the years, he has been involved with multiple other women… and I have been involved with no one but him. Any time I don’t respond to a message quick enough or if I tell him “no” for any reason, he will go on and on and on with comments about how I “must be busy giving it up” to “everyone except” him 🙄 Every single message I receive is quickly turned into something sexual… I honestly can’t recall having an actual every day conversation in all these years. Any time I bring up that I want more from someone relationship wise, he talks over me to repeatedly call me ‘negative’ and tells me I should “just appreciate what you have”. Now, I’m not dumb… I know he is manipulating me to get what he wants (sex). I also understand I “allow” it by giving in and doing what he wants— and then feel like ***** about myself. However…every time I say it’s over, he goes on and on about how he cares about me… and I feel so confused because why would he stay this long if he didn’t care? But maybe I’m just delusional because I *want* him to care 🤷🏻*♀️

I need outside perspective! Please be very blunt because I do not read ‘hints’ well, at all 😅

He doesn’t “care” enough. You have wasted 9 years of your life here. Stop communicating, block, delete, no contact, change your number, whatever you need to do.

All these years you could have found someone whose values matched yours. You somehow need to start thinking of this person as harmful.

I used to see someone similar years ago and he said “can’t we be friends?” And my reply to him was “ how much would I have to hate myself to want a friend like you?”

Blocked. Deleted.