Closure

I was with my ex for almost 20 year (engaged the last 7 years). Three days after major surgery, he had his mom come to care for me. He then went overseas and married a girl (27 years younger than him), that he has been dating for 1 yr and 2 mths, behind my back. I found out about his cheating about 5 mths before my surgery. But, because I was in a abusive relationship with him, I had to wait till he was gone to leave. So even though it was against medical advice to fly to another state (1 week and 5 days after surgery), I gathered my strength and left while he was not home. I left on his wedding day, that way I was sure he would’nt be home, so there wouldn’t be any type of altercation.

My family member flew to help me leave. I called him a few times but he never answered the phone. So I texted him asking him to apologize for hurting me. And to please give me closure so that I can move on. I messaged him twice about it. He would answer texts about my dog and my belongings etc. However, never anything about our relationship. I’m am devastated I spent 20 years with him, yet I can’t even get a apology. Makes me few so worthless that my love and my youth meant nothing to him.

Has anyone here moved out without closure? If so can you give me tips to move on without closure from him. I am so sad and devastated, I no longer can see my pet of 6 years. And because I had to sneak out to leave, I never got to say bye to dog at all. I would appreciate any type of help, if you have any advice on how I can let go without closure. Thanks for helping.

Welcome to this site, @Eternal Love!

I'm so sorry that you went through that ... Earth shattering experience. I don't have any tips or advice to share right now.

I wonder if you live in a state that recognizes common law marriage. After living together that long, perhaps you have a legal justification for taking some sort of action.

Also, I wonder how well you get along with his mother. It's possible that she feels awful about what he did. If so she might provide a bit of comfort.

Hopefully, others will join the thread.