as a virgin male, non virgin girls seem so disgusting to me

I know it's the ol' boring question that people saw and probably answered hundreds of times before, but hear me out, I don't mean objectifying women or any hateful accusations, let's not get into that kind of arguing, all I am saying is..

I 23yrs old virgin male literally never even held hands with a girl, in my third world country it's normal that most of the "unmarried" people are virgins, for me, I don't plan on getting married, in fact I decided that I will never do so, but despite that, I want to try sex, I want to try intimacy ( even when it's not allowed nor accepted in my country, religion nor culture) but let's not get into that, and usually girls who do so here in my country are either hoes/prostitutes or so rare (if they aren't hoes), I am still in collage, to be able to find a "virgin friend with benefits" if I got to know a girl and she happens to not be one, after she knows my intentions she can spread bad rumors about me, and trust me these kind of stuff could literally destroy your life and identity, so it's a huge risk. so it's either I get extremely lucky, or I fix the way I am thinking, so if anyone can convince me to stop feeling grossed or disgusted by that, I'll appreciate so...



(don't tell me to go to therapy)

(yes this "untouched" rule is more important than emotions and feelings between me and the potential partner)

I suspect that, somewhere along the line, you've been around other males who have a very disturbed, unhealthy attitude toward women . . . and you've internalized it. Maybe it was males in your family . . . maybe boys you hung out with growing up . . . maybe something in the local culture . . . maybe something you read or were exposed to in other media.

Instead of hoping to enter into a loving relationship, you want to find a virgin female you can use for sex. I promise that mindset will set you up for an empty, miserable life.

It's probably not your fault. You're young, inexperienced, and have probably been under some bad influence. Maybe your parents were unhappy with each other.

Some of the richest, most attractive, successful and powerful men in the world have found joy in committing to a women who was previously partnered with another man. That was even true a thousand years ago, when virgin status was highly coveted.

Your main problem isn't having an aversion to sex with a non-virgin. It's a much bigger problem. You want to be able to use someone. This is you wanting a partner you can objectify. Also you may feel very insecure about being with a girl who might compare you with other young men. Your thinking sounds like it might be more expected in a boy about 12 years old. I don't say this to denigrate you as a person, but you've bought into an outlook that deserves to be denigrated. Hopefully, you will outgrow it.

Try talking to mature men who are in satisfying relationships. Ask them to tell you what they've learned about being happy in the company of a woman. Ask them how important virginity in a woman is. Suppose a nice, young, married woman became widowed. Would the men around you consider her of no interest because she was no longer a virgin. Don't widows remarry in your society?

The idea that a non-virgin girl is somehow contaminated and unfit to have relations with is very foolish thinking. Men fall madly in love with non-virgins every day. They sometimes go on to have great sex and real happiness with them. I'm not suggesting you go take up with some low-life female who may carry a real transmissable disease. You won't learn anything about good sex doing that. Great sex is usually requires that two people care for and trust each. If that's not what you're looking for, then you might as well go online and order an inflatable doll and have fun with it.

23 is not that old. I married a male virgin when he was 31. I was a virgin, too, Just keep your eyes opened. Go to places where such a woman is more likely--church, libraries, etc.

I always google what I am afraid:
reuters.com
The main point of the article is that a study did not find evidence that women store DNA from every man they have had intercourse with. The claim that women retain DNA from all their male sexual partners is false.

Think about the implications of your perspective. You want to turn a virgin into something that, according to your perspective, is disgusting to other men. Then you want to discard her.

libraries? I get church because they tell you sex is evil unless you sign a paper and get a ring or something first so that makes sense, but why a public building people go to for access to media? (Our library is basically a place for people to OD on fentanyl in bathrooms and use wifi, so me seeing libraries as a place virgin women flock to is hard)

That is very hypocritical - you find non virgin girls disgusting. Yet you have no problem wanting to use women as an object to have sex with instead of forging a loving, committed, relationship.

Wanting to use women, non virgin women specifically, for your carnal desires - and than throw them away because they would no longer be ''non virgin" is what is pretty disgusting.

Couple comments without judging your judgmental views:

-sperm doesn't stay in a female reproductive system (or digestive system for that matter) for years. It dies by the fifth day. And no, there isn't a bunch of dead sperm in a vagina for years. Even the epithelial cells (the ones your body would be touching) themselves don't stay there for years (they die off and are discarded frequently)
-If they used a condom, DNA technically never even touched her.
-If you can find a virgin girl who is okay with having sex with you and not being in any sort of relationship beyond sexual, go for it, but if you're not straightforward about it, you're an a-hole. If your reputation is ruined, that's just what happens.

He said he doesn’t want to be married or committed to a woman. He just wants sex with a virgin because he finds non virgins gross. He’s not looking for love. Do you really think there are women in churches looking for losing their virginity to someone who’s not looking for commitment?

Libraries? Why?

Virgin women don’t congregate in churches and libraries looking for random men to sleep with.

Women don’t retain men’s DNA for years. That’s incorrect

If you're going to worry about foreign DNA, here's something to think about: Every inch of your skin is crawling with thousands of bacteria and fungi that each carry the DNA of their species. Like many people, you may be colonized with varieties of staph bacteria that can cause disease. The interior of your mouth and throat is crawling with millions of microorganisms that all carry packages of DNA. Have you ever gotten a cavity that needed to be filled by a dentist. If so, then you probably have a species of strep living in your mouth that caused the decay. Your own genitalia are covered with bacteria and fungi. Even a virgin girl's mouth and vagina are densely populated with bacteria cells and fungi spores, all full of DNA. If you shake hands with another man, you pick up microbes from his hand that might include the COVID virus. Every time you inhale, you breath in bacteria and mold spores.

The only way you could get rid of all this foreign DNA would be to douse yourself with gasoline and light yourself on fire. That would be foolish because we all actually need to be covered in bacteria. Most of it is harmless and actually prevents really nasty bacteria from gaining a foothold by crowding it out. (Though some nasties will still survive on any of us.)

Save your anxiety about DNA for genetic material that can actually sicken or kill you.

Well, my opinion is, you could be with a lady who's not a virgin, who takes care of personal hygiene, self care, all that. You're just too scared to be proactive about it - waiting for a virgin to come rescue you from your insecurities. Ok bro? Don't try to paint women as some kind of dirty "sub species" here. This is the West. We don't think of women that way unless you already have warped ideas.

I thought about this young man's location and wondered if this feeling was natural in his culture. Then I thought of the Bible story about King David and Bathsheba, which I believe is well known, even in North Africa. David had a harem full of women who came to him as virgins, and he could order up more untouched girls, whenever he cared to. Yet, he went to great lenths to get Bathsheba, who was not a virgin, even arranging the death of her husband. He married her and elevated her above all his other wives, making her his queen and designating her son, Solomon, as heir to his throne. (I recognize that some Muslims interpret the story very differently. But all accept that Bathsheba was not a virgin.) This was in a place and time when virginal status was far more prized than it is today.

@Joo321, if you are ever lucky enough to be in bed with a non-virgin who is pretty, likes you, and treats you affectionately, your reproductive equipment will not care in the least about her non-virginal status.

It's incel-type literature. They are even saying that, because of this so-called stored DNA, your children could descend from this storage spot, which they say is in the FUPA, also that is how to "tell" if a woman has had many partners, as the semen is stored there, hence the puffiness. Not that there is the fatty mound of venus coving the pubic bone.

How can you have so much information available at your literal fingertips, yet not have the agency to and strength to discern lies? That is what it means to be a man.

So you find non-virgins to be disgusting & yet you want to have sex with a virgin to turn her into a non-virgin you find disgusting. Seriously that thinking is disgusting

a "virgin friend with benefits is an oxymoron. After the first night, she won't be a virgin. A friend with benefits is someone who repeatedly engages in sexual intercourse with the same person who, that person, told her in advance that he does not want to get serious about her but just to have ongoing , possibly infrequent but still ongoing, recurrent sex with her. A common English expression attached to such arrangements is no strings attached. One cannot engage in recurrent sex acts and stay a virgin. So a virgin friend with benefits cannot exist.

Unless you mean, and I realize there might be lost in translation issues in your post, that you want a friend with benefits who enters into that kind of arrangement as a virgin. But why would she? What would be in it for her? Can you explain?