[SweetCrusader]

I am a pretty independent person, and have prided myself on the fact that I'm able to be okay without having a significant other in my life. I know way too many ppl who become empty shells if they're not in a relationship. I never want to be like that.

But every now and then, I just start thinking how nice it would be to fall in love. I think I go to the extreme of sending out "don't go near me" vibes... because I'm afraid. I don't feel very attractive, and I've been hurt a lot by the ppl that I've wanted to be in relationships with. At some point, I stopped getting crushes. It's been a couple years, and I miss that rush. I want to get a crush... and I want it to build into something more solid and real eventually. But it's been a long time since I've met someone I could ever want in that way. I don't know what to do!

I'm a case manager, and at work a lot of my (all male) clients get crushes on me, and hit on me. Sometimes their attention just highlights to me the lack of attention I'm getting from the guys I want it from... and the guys that are date-able for me.

Any advice on meeting ppl? I hate the online thing, and I don't party. Any advice on becoming more comfortable with myself so I don't send out that insecure vibe??

[I_WMD]

> Cru <. ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,.

Those getting hit on by client peeps ,,, which we know if you dated one you might jepordize your job or position .

.But Ya know ,,, doesn't stop ya from hearing what they say your attributes are ,,,, Then accentuate those as you feel comfortable with and >>> Go from there , .

Starting point And You Decide When and where .

[Perna]

Find an activity you like and go to activities where others who enjoy that activity go too. I met friends by joining my local Friends of the Library. My girlfriend met her husband at a square dancing group! The more you go out and meet people and "mingle" the more chance you will have to find someone to date and more comfortable you will get around "regular" people?

[oceana]

Ask a friend or someone you are close to at work if they have a friend. Then all of you go out, not like a date, but just to have fun. Go to dinner, maybe play pool, go watch a game or something. Then you will be able to see how he acts not just with you but everyone. If you like his personality. Make it where you all go out a few times a week and do different things. If your not impressed see if there's someone else. Either way just be friends first, that way you don't put your feelings out there until your ready. Then if it works you have something to build from.

[valexand]

My heart goes out to you. I have no good advice to give you since I am in the very same situation!! Good luck to both of us.