[Zenobia]

My husband and I are in the middle of a bathroom remodeling project. Remodling sounds so much nicer then "trying to fix all the stuff that is leaking." ha ha. Anyway today was a day we both had off from work so we have been planning to working on getting the shower surround put in. For the last week or two the wall has been torn so I could replace the pipes in there. I have had plastic shower curtains taped up around the alcove so that we could shower. It works well but doesn't look all the great. Maybe if they came up with designer strapping tape it would look more attractive but as it is I think we need to finish this project. Anyway...

I woke up this morning extremely tense. You know how it feels when you can't quite figure out what to do with yourself but you know if you sit still you will internally combust or something so you pace around and around...actually I mowed the lawn at 8:00 this morning. I have a push mower so it isn't to terribly loud. After I got to kids to school I sat down to to my morning positive affirmation reading and journalling. Today's quote was "It is never to late--in fiction or in life--to revise" by Nancy Thayer. The topic was about cleaning the fashion mistakes out of one's closet. But when I opened up my journal I started writing about my tenseness and what could be triggering it.

When I was a child from age 8 to when I moved out of the house at 17 my parents were in the process of building their own house. In fact I am now 35 and they still aren't finished. During this time Mom was always upset that Dad hadn't finished yet but she expected him to do it himself or she threatened to get someone else to do it. Dad was resentful because Mom was always harping on him, resentful that so much of his "free time" had to be spent building the damn house. On the other hand to hire someone would be like slapping him in the face and calling him a failure. So is it any wonder that on the morning that my husband and I planned to work on the house I would wake up feeling the same tension that I felt as a child?

The cool thing is that I gave my hubby my journal entry so he could read it and hopefully understand why I may become a little terse or cranky. This understanding of my feelings helped him and myself greatly today because the shower surround we picked out didn't fit our tub is like 50 years old or more and doesn't fit with the specification of newer building sizes. The guy at the hardware store just couldn't seem to help us so all the tension and frustration built up in me and I almost burst into tears at the hardware store. Luckily I was able to hold myself together until I reached the spackling section. When Chris caught up to me I was able to say simply that it was all a little to much and that I wanted to cry. And you know what? He didn't get exasperated with me like he has in the past because he UNDERSTOOD why it was affecting me more deeply then it was affecting him. He just told me it would be ok and we would call Dan, his brother in law to get some ideas until then we would just get the green board and stuff so we could put in what we could. He didn't sigh or grump or huff or anything. He knew it wasn't about him but about something deeply buried and that made it easier for him to deal with and easier for him to comfort me.

I know this post has gotten terribly long but it was such a wonderful thing.
Zen

PS we went to a different hardware store and the guy there fixed us up with a surround that was a little more forgiving and we think it is going to work out just fine. Tonight the kids and I took a hammer to the rest of the tile. They loved causing that distruction. My daughter was really good at it...maybe a little to good. Ha ha.

<font color=blue>Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else--Judy Garland

[splash]

woohoo! yay! nothing like a little demolition to bring the family together.

That's great, Zen. Sounds like a positive experience, both for your marriage and for your bathroom!

Thanks for sharing. I love reading about your successes.

Take care,

splash