[Ozze]

Hey guys,
Haven't been around here in a while but I like reading all the stuff everyone has been putting up. It's good to know that there are people out there in this wide world who think like me, and as they saying goes "wise minds think alike" I hope all you are doing awesome, and by the sounds of it a lot of you are.

Um, hmmm, I don't really know how to start this post but I guess I'll just have to try and piece it together as best I can. Okay, I am egocentric. Phewf! Now that's outta the way. It's not as serious a problem as some of the other stuff I have but it bugs the HELL out of me! All I ever do is think and talk about myself and I am just SICK of it. I want to be able to feel genuinely concerned for the wellbeing of my close mates, but no, it's always about me! Me, me, me, me!!! Haha, this feels good to get out and start making sense of because I hate being a stupid spoilt teenage brat, even though I'm not totally.
Lately I've been trying to stop talking about myself. It was crazy at first, but I couldn't believe how many times I said "I"....."I think", "I reckon", "I'm going" or "I want to". How could I let this happen??? I always thought myself to be a selfless person but I can't believe how selfish I am. Anyone able to relate to this?
Personally, I think (haha, there it goes again ) that it is all because of my problems. I've got way too many of them unresolved so they are stopping me from being able to see that other people have problems too and might need my help. Something has gotta change but I don't know what. Anyone got any ideas here? I just got a girlfriend and I think she's great and I want to focus my attention on her rather than on myself. If I can't do this and do it quickly I'm going to find myself alone in life because who wants to hang out with a miserable self-centered sod.
I hope that there are other people who have this type of niggle (I wouldn't call it a MAJOR hassle) because I desparately need your advice.
That's it guys, hope there's some funky follow up to this post.
Cheers my friends

[LMo]

I TOTALLY know what you mean, Ozze! I feel the same way about myself (here's where my reply stops being about you and starts being about me!). For me, the hard part is finding a comfortable balance between rattling on about myself vs interviewing the person I'm talking to. I notice that I do it more when I'm uncomfortable, but especially with shy people, I tend to overcompensate by drilling them with questions because I'm not comfortable with silence. My fiance taught me a little bit of patience -- he is the prime example of someone who normally would make me nervous when I first met him. Our first date was an exercise of me bombarding him with questions and him replying with 1-word answers. He didn't ask any questions about me... because I always filled in the conversation gaps with more questions. But the reason I did it was because I was trying to hold myself back from babbling on about myself.

I don't have any solutions (except, why don't you go for a run! ); just thought I'd let you know that I can relate and am self-conscious about doing it too, and that I have made the problem worse by developing a solution but overcompensating. Life is a continuous struggle with self-improvement, isn't it?

[Wants2Fly]

I tend to think that we are all (or at least, most of us, maybe not Mother Theresa, the Dali Lama, and some other good souls) egocentric, but just display it different ways.

Even asking questions about the other is a way of trying to please, so that they think well of us. It comes to me me me me me in the end.

I don't think that means that we shouldn't discipline ourselves to be interested in other people and things. In the end. getting out of oneself feels good (at least it does for me).

Worrying too much about only means that I am stuck in "me" once again. I like LMo's strategy of asking questions. I've learned to let silence be when with someone, too. They often fill that silence with the most amazing disclosures. Then I feel so flattered to be trusted . . .

Just my $.02

[misty]

LOL! You mean it's not about me? LOL!!!! I was one of those quiet ones still have that tendancy and I know I was so self conciouse (shy) that I didn't dare open my mouth just knew "I" would screw everything up. Well I've learned to open up even realized people didn't want to talk to me because a lot of times they thaught I was just stuck up. Oh My! That was an eye opener. LOL! now "I" can't get the word "I" out of my head. Oh No!!!! ugg!!!!
What's the saying? hmm??? Oh ya! Awareness is half the battel.