[magasanguis]

Can anyone help me understand what's going on here?

I am 16, and I have a younger sister who's almost 13. We get along pretty well, but it's still a very "casual" relationship. I'm not too fond of the whole, "I-love-you-and-I'll-always-be-there" stuff.

Anyway, I recently got a job at a video game retail store, which, for lack of a better word, is a total sausagefest. I don't mind it, though. My co-workers are really great and incredibly funny.

So one day, I wasn't working, and my mom went to run errands in a different store in the same shopping center, so I took my sister and her friend to my place of work to wait for mom to be done. I was talking to my manager, who is somewhere in his 20's, and the third manager, who is 19.

We were just goofing around as we generally do, and this seemed to make my sister incredibly uncomfortable. She kept telling me, in a little "secret" language she uses, how she didn't like them and how they creeped her out.

Even after we left, she kept telling me at intervals all that day how she didn't like them, especially the 19-year-old. She also told me "They like you," but I really don't see it like that. I like them, too, they're really fun, but I don't see anyone as having a crush on me. However, apparently SHE sees it, and I "can't understand."

I asked my mom about this, because she was also a younger sister. She told me that seeing people who are interested in an older sister is a very disturbing event. I think it'd be the other way around, but I haven't had any problems yet.

Come to think of it, she was pretty suspicious of another guy friend of mine, but they got along better once he got a girlfriend.

Does anyone else have experience with this situation? How am I supposed to comfort my sister, or at least stop her from criticizing my co-workers every day? How can I help her deal with the threatening thought that her sister is a romantic/sexual being, even if there's no reason for her to worry right now?

[sabby]

Wow, you are really a great big sister to be so worried about how you can help your younger sister feel more comfy about your growing up and having boyfriends or even just friends that are boys.

Maybe it's time to have a sit down talk with her and let her know that no matter how life changes, you can both be close and it won't change how you feel about her. Jealousy can be a difficult thing to feel both for the person who is feeling jealous and the one who the jealousy is shown towards. Jealousy is born of fear....so your sister is afraid she's going to loose her big sister or worse, her sister may get hurt and she doesn't want that to happen.

I think the best thing you can do is to make time each week to spend some quality time with your little sis. Go to the movies together, go shopping together, take walks together, go to the arcade together.....whatever it is....just doing it together is the main key

If your sister sees that you are making time for her, she is less likely to feel jealous of the new friends in your life.....I wish you both well!


sabby

[magasanguis]

I can definitely spend time with her. In fact, my job lets me "check out" games for four days, so I just took one out that she really likes to watch me play.

I can see why it'd be kind of scary for her. I've never been involved with boys, technically I'm still not, but I think that if I DID get a boyfriend, it'd be easier for her to see that I'm pretty strong-willed. Meanwhile, she knows I like my job and my co-workers, though nothing risque passes my mind.

As usual, people in my family suspect everyone has a crush on me. They've been wrong in their suspicions before, but I'm in this situation again where I can't speak for them. I can't say for a fact, "No, he doesn't like me."

So it's hard on me, too, unfortunately.

[TaintedGoth1]

It sounds like she's afraid to lose her "big sis" to someone and that you won't be able to spend any time together.

[magasanguis]

That seems likely, but in fact, I'm losing her, too.
She has a neighbor friend her age who doesn't really like her home life, so she's always over here. It's like I have two little sisters. So I don't get to spend much time with her apart from her friend.