[sweetpea_tx]

Okay, enough is enough. I'm so sick of being called selfish and incompassionate. Sorry, but what do you expect? For several months now, I've heard all the promises about not drinking or smoking. Alll the times that he's gone and done it anyways. He doesn't think that I'm being honest about my diagnosis, because he doesn't see that it has shown up, even when I was still trying to pretend that it wasn't there. He says that his grandfather on his dad's side is bipolar, and that his mother has manic depression,but insists that they are two totally different things... this after he told me that he read the links that I sent him. He said that he would be there if I needed to talk on Friday before my appointment with the case manager. I tried in vain to call him REPEATEDLY... his phone was off and I was having those rolling waves of panic. I tried calling him after, when I had a little better of an idea of what was going on with my treatment plan and all of that. Still, the phone was off. I called my mom to tell her and fopund out that my grandpa hasn't gotten better yet. I called him after that repeatedly, and still no answer. I went home and dropped into bed and was instantly out. He called a few times... I slept through it. So he goes and starts drinking. I didn't know... his phone rang and rang, but he didn't answer. That was early afternoon. He stopped at about five in the morning. He went out to the bar with his frind and his friend's girlfriend. At 2:30, I get the drunken phone call... him professing his love for me, and telling me that he got two girls in a fight over him, bragging that he could have taken one of them home with him, but didn't because of me. He gets really sick after drinking. I guess I'm supposed to be totally and utterly supportive of his choices and drop everything to play nurse maid by phone... I'd actually TRIED to go to sleep early Friday night... that went down the tubes when the phone caught me on the edge of sleep. Saturday, he called at least once an hour. I was having a hard enough time with keeping my own head above water that I really wasn't into listening to hearing about what went on in the bathroom, the stories of the stomach ache, the shakes, the headache... all of that. So I'm incompassionate. I'm faking all of this. Hello? I can't help what I'm going through... who would want to feel like I feel? He had a choice, he made it, and he can pay the piper. I'm sorry, but that is how I feel. He's constantly asking who's here, thinking that he hears voices on my end of the phone, when the dog's outside and the t.v. and radio are both off. I'm going to go to the clinic tomorrow and remove him from my file and replace him with my mother. I'm sick of him expecting me to fix his crap when I can't even fix my own! He has texted me since... "U obviously care nothing about redemption so don't be surprised when I'm not there for you", "I hate you".

[salukigirl]

Im so sorry youre dealing with this. You need to do what's best for you and trying to "fix" someone who doesn't want your help only hurts you. This sounds just like my ex. If I would call him and he wouldn't answer I would get this gut feeling that he was at the bar and come to find out i was always right. It only gets worse with people like that. You need to assert what you want in a relationship, not be thankful he didn't cheat on you! Isn't that kind of a general rule of a relationship?

My ex used to tell me that if I was so upset when skimpy-dressed girls would flirt with him maybe I should dress and act like that too. He's not worth it! You deserve someone who won't hurt you like that. You did the right thing.