[iknowyouhateme2]

ok so me and my guy well i dont know what we are at this point. his mom died about a month ago. and i have some trust issues and well hes been pushing me away since then. so ive pushed back. we were suposed to be getting married this october but i dont know if this is happening annymore. we told me that he wanted space for two weeks and i just kinda freaked out and got mad and now hes not talking to me hes about all i have and i dont know where we stand now i was rude and irratinal. i dont know what to do . he wont call me or answer my phone calls ive left him a few messages telling him that im sorry and i want to appologise to him. but he stil wont and when i freaked out i just kept saying i cant do this i cant do this and he hung up. so what do i do

[iknowyouhateme2]

i honestly feel silly for asking but i dont know what to do. all of this makes me feel weak. I guess theres just something wrong with me

[psych16m]

okay, im a lil young but maybe i can help. its obvious u want to help him and appoligize to him sou should really do that.
try to get really calm and contact him. i would say in person. but make sure he wants to talk. if u have to, make him talk to u. but dont be mean.
i've lost close ppl so i know how it feels. its really hard. he may just be pushing u away bc hes really emotional and he doesnt want u to see him that way. he obvilious loves u since u two were suppose to get married.
now, just get calm and say ur sorry, and make sure to let him know that ur there for him. thats reallly important for him to know. but overall, u need to do what feels right.
best of luck and i hope everything works out fine.

[AAAAA]

Losing a parent at any age is a hard thing. I lost my father three years ago and I’m still trying to figure out how to deal every day. The only thing you can do is be compassionate and talk to him. He might not be ready to talk about it now, it might still be too painful. Let him know that you’re ready to listen when he’s ready to talk.

[wanttoheal]

Hi iknow, welcome to PC. I'm so sorry you feel like everyone hates you (from your nickname). I can assure you that you'll find some really good support here. I like you already!

I haven't lost a parent, but I have lost a loved one. It can be pretty devastating and it's not something one can just get over. I know for me, I really backed off from people because I was just so overwhelmed with things. It didn't mean I didn't know the people cared for me and it didn't mean I didn't care for them, but I just couldn't add anything else to my emotional plate. And if someone added something emotional to me (such as getting upset with me or anything, even very trivial things), I was more apt to back away further.

Maybe the best thing is to just be there, not in words so much as actions. I had a very good friend who would call and just leave an encouraging voicemail sometimes. Never asking me to call back, just wanting me to know I was cared for. I would get little encouragement cards in the mail, just to let me know the same. Maybe you can do something along those lines? Maybe he just needs to know you are there, even if he can't mentally and emotionally reach out right now. Maybe you could cook him a meal and leave it for him (without staying). Send some cards to him (even though you live in the same area, it's nice to get mail) just to encourage him. Just be there for when he comes back mentally.

Good luck with this and please keep us posted. It's hard to know how to handle situations like this. We want to support you.

[AAAAA]

That is such good advice wantto! Letting him know that you're there for him when he's ready to talk without pressure, and that you're thinking of him.

[milicent]

Hi there, firstly i would like to say sorry for going through a rough patch with your partner. Losing a mother is very painfull so your partner is going through a very difficult time in his life, I really think you should be there for him,well he might be harsh at times but you must be patient he will come around. he is in a grieving stage and he needs somebody to hold his held and be there for him. well for now he may push you away jst dont push back. I really hope things go well between the two of you.

[chiz]

Hi

I understand you for feeling that way. Maybe your boyfriend really needs some space and you can't force him to talk about his issue. I don't know if it will work but maybe you need to give him his space for now. He asked for 2 weeks? Give him two weeks. But just try to keep in touch with him even if he doesn't respond. Like calling him once a day telling him how much you love him and yeah, like what they suggested above, that you're always there for him.

Maybe you need to stop asking him or bringing out his issue for now. Take it lightly and when he's ready to talk about it, be sure to listen.

I hope it helps.