[Irine]

Hi...

i wanted to know something......

Does it ever happen to anyone that they have friends whom they love best and feel close to, but it seems that most of the conversation YOU talk, much more, than your friend,,,,and it feels like....

But on the other hand it`s not that your friend hides something or doesn`t trust you....they say they don`t have much to tell

It that true?
We don`t have much to tell most of the time?

HECK, THEN WHY I DO?!
I am always going through something and always have to say a lot

But i feel selfish for talking so much about myself all the time...and anyways i want to feel equal

[ArianeB]

I sometimes have similar questions to you. I think that people are just different, and some types of people don't feel like they need to share the ups and downs of their feelings as much as others. Quite often these people really enjoy a friend who is very excited, who can engage them with an interesting story, or excite their emotions. I had a very close boyfriend who was much less talkative than me, and as we grew closer I would often share the type of worries you express. He would just affirm that he liked things that way. I guess the main thing is to find a way to be secure that your friend enjoys your talking. Remember, he/she wouldn't be there with you if they didn't want to. Maybe ask other people in their life if they notice a similar style of communication. It sounds like you have already asked your friend directly, so this base is covered!

Good luck! I'm sure you're a very interesting person with lots to share. That's a great thing.

[Irine]

-Thanks

[susanp]

It seems that my closest girlfriends thrugh the years have actually betrayed our friendship by sleeping with a current lover or an x-husband. This is devastating . What is up with that? <font color="purple"> </font>

[cheetah]

So it feels like the friendship is sort of one-sided? Am I understanding right?

There's a lot of components to a friendship. My first thought is has your friend shared things in the past and then suddenly stopped? I'd probably be more concerned with a change like this than someone who has always been private.

I agree with Ariane that everyone is different. Some of us are just quicker to share things and others are more cautious.

One other thought is to try to imagine what your friend might be feeling. Is there some reason he/she wouldn't be comfortable sharing? Perhaps you need to give your friend a chance to speak? Not saying that you talk to much because that would be a huge assumption on my part but just throwing it out there for something to think about.

[youOme]

ask alot of questions.

my best friend sometimes forgets to come up for air, and i'll admit, it can make me feel like she'd forgotten about me. like i'm one big EAR or something.

[Dancer_in_the_light]

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susanp said:
It seems that my closest girlfriends thrugh the years have actually betrayed our friendship by sleeping with a current lover or an x-husband. This is devastating . What is up with that? <font color="purple"> </font>

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

This happens often to you? Perhaps you should re-evaluate your criteria for choosing friends.


I'm one of the quiet friends, and it's honestly because I don't feel the need to talk about every little thing. I enjoy the friends I have that do talk a lot, because it takes the pressure off of me to come up with conversation, something I've never been very good at.

Asking questions is a good idea, because it keeps your friend engaged and lets them know that you aren't just talking at them instead of to them. If they ask you something, repeat the question back at them (or a relevant variant thereof) after you've answered.

[Irine]

Yes youOme, asking quesitons is a good idea, i thik i idd it and that i always do. no matter how much i want to tlak about msyelf i
always ask question and think of them becuse i don`t want to be selfish

I.....ni the friend is didn`t stop shairng things with me

[psyco1]

I have noticied that there are some people who irritate me by the subject of their conversations. They will talk endlessly about trivia. How they went in this store and saw this and this and this. I do not care. Or, they will tell me about someone elses feelings and thoughts but never get to theirs. Many people would benefit by talking less and listening more. Or, if they talk, tell me how they feel about big issues.

[whiteNight]

i think of it this way- there are people who like to talk and there are people who like to listen- its a nice balance

asking questions is still a good way to get liteners to talk :P