[jamminpianogirl]

I have a casual question. I've been working at a new job for about a month, and since I'm very shy I haven't made more than a few casual acquaintances who I occasionally exchange words with during the day. Since I work in a restaurant kitchen where everyone's always chatting, I probably seem awkwardly quiet (I have social anxiety disorder and am naturally introverted anyway - plus because of past experiences I have a hard time opening up to people).

There's a coworker I've come to like because he tries especially hard to include me in conversations and get me to talk. He just doesn't give up. I very much respect this and am grateful, but its still hard for me to develop a friendship within the work setting. I want to ask him to hang out, but I'm afraid he's just being kind and isn't actually interested in developing a friendship. I'm afraid it would seem out of place to ask him to hang out when I've pretty much never started one of our conversations. I'm also afraid he might think I have a crush on him and want a date (which is not the case - I have a very serious relationship that is working towards the goal of marriage). I really don't know - Is it appropriate to ask to hang out outside of work? How would I go about it in the least intimidating way?

[Perna]

Yes, it would be fine. What I would do, if my boyfriend could come and pick me up after a shift when the other guy was getting off too or if I could get the boyfriend to come with me to the restaurant when I knew the other guy was getting off, I'd have the boyfriend invite the guy? I'm always trying to set my husband up with guys I like so he'll have more friends :-) But having your boyfriend understand your problem and help you would have the double benefit of making the two of your closer and letting your boyfriend help you as well as maybe reassuring the guy you aren't looking for a date and letting him know you're in a relationship, etc. You'd also have someone you know and feel more comfortable with to help keep any conversation going. The nice guy at the restaurant would know you had to have set the whole thing up because you wanted to get to know him and like/appreciate him so it would all be good and clear.