[iamtwilight]

the tables will turn eventually... i knew this all along.

he has a 12 year old dog. she turned 12 in june, a very sweet wheat terrier, has had trouble with old age, has been on a few meds and is ok now, but about a month ago he told me they had taken her to the vet and they were told she has only months to live.

he was depressed for about a day. i told him if he wanted to talk i would listen, that he could call me, send me a text, anything at any time and i would get back to him as soon as i could.

the next night he sent me a message and said, "it's no use grieving now, she's still alive. just gotta take it one day at a time"

now we're waiting... and i'm kinda terrified what will happen when her time actually comes. will i be there to witness it? i don't think i could watch it without shedding a tear. but he might want me to be with him.

right now, i'm not in a very good place emotionally. i'm afraid of not being able to give enough support for him because of my mental issues. but i know i am a human being after all, i'm capable of feeling (though i sometimes hate myself for that)..

so what i've decided to do:
- be willing to listen
- not try to "hug the trouble away"
- not tell him to rush with his grief (when my dog died, i got very depressed, and my best friend told me that i should stop wallowing in self-pity)
- try not to point out wheat terriers after her death - only when he has started doing it. though i guess i better stop pointing out all dogs because i always do that. i don't know. or maybe i should ask him if it's ok because it's such a big part of my personality to point dogs out.

i guess i have an advantage because my former dog passed away almost two years ago, and it is quite fresh in my memory.

i suppose this will be hard for me, as well, though i have only known her for a year, but i have grown to like her very much. but i feel kinda bad for posting this, as if she was already a dead dog when she's not.

i just feel like i need to prepare to support him since i'm not very well myself and i can gather all the strength i need.

i don't know what else i can do? i always wanted to talk about my dog, i craved to share my memories of him after his death. but i'm not sure how i can avoid triggering him (not talking about her unless he wants to) without coming off like i'm not interested...

any input is appreciated...

katie

[pachyderm]

I suspect you will be stronger when it happens than you anticipate now. Being sad is good, when it is a friend lost.

[iamtwilight]

yeah.. actually.. i thought about it more after i posted the above.. and i realised it's one of the things you can't prepare for. because a) it will happen suddenly, out of the blue and b) i won't remember crap about the things i've mentioned here.

haha oh well.

[Meggles]

Good luck with it when it happens. Losing a much loved pet is like losing a memeber of the family (i hope i dont offend someone saying this - i do know the difference of grief over a pet and grief over losing my father 2 yrs ago, but it still aches like you've lost a part of your heart).

You are a good friend to put yourself there for him even though you have your own issues to deal with. You should be proud of that.

I hope its not too hard and you get through this grieving process with him when it happens.

xx