[Lovingwifeandmother]

Please, pardon my grammar!

We are married for 2 years. I brought 2 good, trouble free boys(in their early teens) into our marriage. My husband never had kids and never been around kids.
In the beginning everything was intense...love, fun, laughter and tears...I was in-love and did not take seriously some things, that was a red flag i chose to ignore, thinking that it will pass...ok...ok.. I will start giving you more info: He is fun...loud and intense fun for an hour or more, then he become irritated and start yelling, when any one else would just not even noticed a thing...He always finds excuses for his behavior: on the beginning he was quitting smoking(he was like a dark cloud, never know when he would snap) then, when he played with my feelings, by trying to make connection with other woman(it was before actual marriage). I was broken and I have to admit that I did not take it nicely.. I was beaching.. it was hard as hell for me to deal with it and trying to forgive him and give him another chance(he beg for it) So another phase of him being one minute happy and another snapping badly, yelling and making holes in the walls. Any way...it's came to him start getting physical with the kids. If he would not like something , he would start yelling really scary and pushing them to the wall with his body. I try to leave. He begged me to stay and give him a chance(I know.. I know.. but I do love him and he is a best father to my kids when he is normal)I ask him to go to councilor. He went immediately. They talk to him, give him some pills to experiment on him...He became scary moody and I ask him to stop the pills and stop those sessions after 2 month because it just got worse. We live one day at the time. One day would be perfect day, you can only see in the movie. He loves spend time with boys. He cooks for us on Sundays...He takes good care of us...but fr everything he does-there is a payment...
Lately, he comes home and immediately start looking for something.. why is that? why is this? why are you doing this?why are you not doing that? and it is goes on and on... the endless beaching... New thing: kids have to eat 5 serving of veggies and no way they can eat less...ok...no problem...One of my sons does not like celery. My husband made sandwiches for the boys(caring father) he put some celery in it.. boy eat most of it but not couple peaces with fell out. He tell the boy to eat it.. Boy make faces and said something.. should of know better.. He made him eat couple stocks of celery... I start protested and asking what is the point? this is the way make kid hate veggies not love them. Big mistake((( He said because boy make us fight now he have to eat celery everyday for a week...and he is doing it.. for 3 days.. and if he cries, he has to eat more...
I use to be able to reason him.. to ask him and he would think and be sorry and back up.. but now he is just like a devil...
I want to add that he does love me very much...he takes best care of us... with presents and vacations and all his free time for us...He loves to be with us, but lately he just hurting us more then anything....
I have nowhere to go.. I am along in this country. Moreover.. I want to save my family!! I want him to get better.. He knows that he is hurting us...he wants to be better, he tries...not working (((
What the heck is wrong with him... how can I help him and all of us??