[thedarkdragon]

ok this is a little bit of a long story but ill try to get to the point of it all ive been seeing this girl for about 5 months and from time to time she will bring up how i always act a certain way and that she feels like she doesnt know me in a way cuz the only emotion i show to her is happy but the one time i was angry (not at her) she went on about how it was scary so i hide it and im always nice to her so she feels like im trying to hard to keep her and sometimes she feels like im only with her cuz im afraid i wont find anyone else so what im looking for is any advice on should i just be more like me and if there is a time i need to show that im not in the mood and express myself more try to sho her im not always happy but i dont want to push her away cuz i feel strongly for her any help is help thanks

[Perna]

Hi, dark dragon, welcome to PsychCentral (PC). I think you should always be as much like yourself as you can so other people can get a sense of you. If your girlfriend has trouble liking "you", then you probably don't want to be with that girl? Having to work at being "nice" and hiding the way you feel is no way to live and can't last.

I would have a talk with her and explain how you feel and that you're going to start trying to be more like yourself. Then the two of you can see how you're doing together. I think her comment on why YOU are with her, shows her fear for herself. Other people can't tell us how we feel, only we know how we feel and it's always "right" and always valid because it just is how we feel! So you should be more yourself and when she trys to tell you about YOU, gently remind her you're the expert on you. If she gets scared when you're angry (whether at her or someone else), that too is her fear, not yours! Anger is a natural, healthy, helpful emotion and if she has been raised to fear it, maybe you can help her learn it's okay. But she may have problems you can't help her with and that's okay too, just sad that she might not be the right girlfriend for you.