[missbfromuk]

I hope no one here thinks badly of me for this,but i have a crush on my mum's cousin.He is eight years older than me.I dont know what to do.When i first saw him when i became an adult,when i was 18,i hadnt seen him for a long time then,and he said he couldnt believe it was me,and i was bautiful and that guys would give anything to go out with me,and he kept winking at me.He has smiled at me alot,he danced with me at a party once,and bought me a drink and said i looked nice,and someone asked if i had a boyfriend,i said no,and he said you'll get one.I remember a couple of times when i saw him when i was out too,and he had to walk past the table i was sat at,and he kept looking and smiling till he had gone past.

And once i was out with my family and i bumped into him,and he wanted me to sneak off without telling my family where i was going.We were almost out the door,i was hesitating about going,but a family member saw us,and said i had to go home.He rang me when i got home though,and said he could come and pick me up then,but i didnt want to risk sneaking out the house.Then he suggested meeting me the next day,but said he couldnt pick me up at home,as he thought my family would think we were going out with each other.I said you think they would think that even though we are related,and he said yes.So he said he'd pick me up near a shop.He also told me not to tell this other guy who liked me,who we had both been talking to earlier,that we were going to meet up.I wondered why he said that.I told him i thought he was good looking,i was just trying to hint i liked him without actually saying it,and he said he thought i was really really good looking !.

However,the next day,i tried to call him to check he was still going to meet ,but he didnt answer his phone,so i didnt see him.Since then,he has moved away coz he got a new job.He used to live quite near to me,but now lives quite far away in another aprt of the country.I have asked him afew times if he'd like to meet up sometime when he visits here,as he still visits sometimes,but he didnt respond.However,one we found each other on one website,and he sent me a friend request on there,and i added him,and we chatted once on there,just in general.Then,he stopped using that site,and we found each other on another site,and he sent me a friend request again,and i added him.We have only spoken on there once aswell.I'd like to speak to him more often,but i dont always know what to say,and i feel bad about the times he didnt respond to me about meeting.

He usually comes up here for christmas,although i've never seen him over Christmas yet.I'm hoping he will be here this year.I wish he would send me a message asking to met if he comes up here.I'm not going to send him one.I do know a couple of places he goes in here,as that is where i have seen him before,but i wouldnt know what day he'd be there,or what time,and i dont want to waste time doing that anyway.He knows how to contact me,so if he wanted to see me,he knows what to do.He doesnt need to worry about family now that we are in contact online.We could easily arrange to meet without them knowing.

I'm not sure if i'd actually want anything to happen,but i would like to tell him how i feel,and find out how he feels.

What do you think about all this ?.