[baroona]

I'm gonna take a real wild shot by posting here(hope this is the right place) but I thought I needed some unbiased opinions. The things is I've known this girl for about a year, she liked me for the whole time but it was mostly a physical relationship for me, but it was more intimate than a sex-friend thing. But then recently I made our relationship "public" in that sense I mean we told all our friends and hung out in front of other people instead of just meeting at night. But I need to go to another country, so we've just been together for 2 weeks but known each other and have been intimate for one year and she says she will wait for me. Maybe its best to point out that I'm 19 and she is 16 so well we still live with our parents kind of situation. So I'm here in this foreign country and I haven't much to do so there's lots of waiting for her on to get on "skype" (like a phone through the internet software) and shes out with her friends and such so I trust her, I try not to be the jealous boyfriend far away who's always asking her where she is and such.

She has a friend(a girl) which she recently has been with alot, now this friend I know, she´s very nice and all(although shes the same age as me) but she is mentally kind of immature and childish(as a result of being abused as a child) so I didnt trust her in the beginning but worked through my fear of anything happening. Now ive been away for only three weeks when I start to hear things, from my friends and hers that maybe you know something is going on between my girlfriend and this girl(whos a mother btw). So I confront her about It and she says it nothing like that and laughs it off. Next thing is this other girls boyfriend whom I also know tells me he suspects something, this is day before yesterday. He tells me that his girlfriend has been at my girlfriends house for the whole day and its like 4 in the morning. I call her and ask about it, she's all relaxed about it and laughs when i question her about it, and tells me she loves me and no one else and things like that. Then we go to sleep and immediately when we wake up I call her up and we both have a webcam, shes chatting to someone through some messenger program and I ask who it is, she says its this other girl, I say fine whatever and keep on chatting. Next thing I know she gets a call from this girl, saying "its not me chatting to you now, it's my boyfriend". Now I hear this and I see how shes shocked.

Now this other girls boyfriend sends me this conversation, It contained explicit details on their lesbian affair. I confront my girlfriend about this, she lies for the next three hours about how she knew it was someone else and she was just joking but when i press her she finally cracks and tells me everything. Tells me how this happened on three different occasions these past two weeks and how it was much more than just kissing. I should say that she's not a lesbian in any way but she told me when i confronted her that she just had a crush on her friend.

What I am hoping to get from posting this here is a fair opinion, because a part of me still loves this girl, but can I or should I ever trust her again. Did she maybe think that it wasnt too serious or it wasnt cheating because it was just "having fun with a friend". Do girls not value doing things with girls as cheating or what? I feel very emotional and biased(this only happened yesterday) so I really dont know if I should be nice to her and try to forgive and trust her again. A part of me wants to be with her but at the samt time the other half thinks such a backstab doesnt warrant any forgiveness or kindness and I should just dump her.

I apologize in advance if what I wrote is confusing at all and if you have any positive input then please leave a comment. Thank you

[AAAAA]

Welcome to PC!
My first attempt at a reply was me getting up on my soap box explaining why I think everything went wrong here. But I don't think that would have been productive. So I will be politically correct and simply say that someone having sexual relations (and very causually by your account) at the age of 15 has no concept of the commitments and responsibilities that come with that decision. It does not sound like this young woman has the maturity needed to maintain a relationship, let alone a long distance one. It also sounds like she has a lack of impulse control. I think you'd be better off finding someone your own age to have a relationship with.

[AAAAA]

Ok, I have to do it. I mean you no disrespect but if no one ever tells you how are you ever going to learn?

The things is I've known this girl for about a year, she liked me for the whole time but it was mostly a physical relationship for me, This statement tells me that she was willing to trade her body in exchange for your affection. but it was more intimate than a sex-friend thing. There is no such thing as a more intimate relationship. Sex is more than a bodly function; it is the ULTIMATE intimasy. There is a natural order to things. You meet, become friends, begin a relationship, make a commitment THEN have sex. I'm not saying you have to be married, but when this order is not followed chaos reigns supreme. This is how you end up having babies before you're ready with someone you can't stand, get into abusive and unhealthy relationships.

How long are you going to be seperated? What are your goals for the future? What do you expect this relationship to turn into?

It is possible for someone that age to make a long term committment if they are mature enough. My husband and I met as children, started dating when I was 15 and he was 17. He went into the Navy when he was 18 and went off to boot camp across the country, moved back into the region aftward. We married just before I turned 18 and have been married for 23 years.

[rappacinisgarden]

hi, well I would say that you started out having a purely sexual relationship with this young girl, and then turned out to be something more for u. I would even say that the way this girl acted, a little coquette, is kind of peculiar.she kind of fooled around with u, and this has kind of hurt your manly pride to put it someway. Really, by the way she acts, or so u say, yes, she is quite impulsive and not really serious about what she's doing. At least this is what I think. Maybe because she just hurt your pride it has turned iout something more for u? Really, as AAA put ti I don't think that at 16 this girl is in control of herself, and it's better if you checked for somebody of your own age. Stitls