Funny...my mom is seeking affirmations...from ME??!!!!

lifelesstraveled · Jan 30, 2009, 07:19 PM

So my mom redecorated the living room. I didnt bother saying anything about it b/c it's like the 234858607697708765578th time she has redecorated. She said jeeesh "didnt you notice that i did this that and the other?"" I said yeah.. she said well it would have been nice to hear "oh mom that looks nice" etc etc...for one i am sooo used to her redecorating. She did it so much that i barely ever had time to get used to one thing before the switched up. and two....it's funny how my mom is seeking some sort of affirmation or "good job mom" from me, when in all of my 26 years on this earth the only thing she has ever complimented me on was when I managed to whither to 100 pounds....oh...then she got jealous. Now she is coming to me for affirmations and a "job well done"????? I came home with pretty decent grades in JR High and HS except for the occassional C , which were only in science classes (those classes were not my fortay) and what did I get...oh well you are going to have to bring that up...it got to a point where I stopped showing her my report cards. She's never told I was beautiful, smart etc.

And now she is looking for affirmations... I was sooo ready to explode on her tonight...I could feel this rage building and I wanted to scream at her "it's because of you I hate myself! It's because of you I feel unlovable and unwanted!!! It's because of you I have crazy eating pattern--borderline eating disorder!" What i said was, "yeah it the new decor looks cute mom. but it doesnt matter, its what you like and what you want"--which is true. So she stormed off and now, as always, is ignoring me (she does this when someone isnt on her side or expresses something against what she wants, hopes or needs to hear).

Sorry...just needed to vent. I dont see my T til Wednesday and I needed to get this out..I am sooo frustrated and agitated now!!!