[WantsSomsTruth]

Is it possible to keep old friends when you make a radical change in your mindset and by extension, the way I perceive people and my ideology?

Maybe, I should explain in better detail!

Before, I was a person who was happy and smiling on the outside, but often bitter and jealous on the inside. It REALLY pissed me off when I heard that some guy abused his girlfriend or wife, thinking, "How can that bastard get a woman when he'll just hurt her and I can't when I would never harm her!! NO FAIR!!!". Then I also got mad when a guy who I perceived to be stupid (which was really any competitive male except me and a select few others) or just using women just for selfish reasons had a girlfriend. Then I reasoned that those women were stupid as well, after all, they had to be dumb to date them, even if there's no abuse. I was a young person who was interested in the vast world problems, but the other teens were not interested in talking about the poor people and how to help them, they wanted to hear about the rich people who exploited the poor and middle class to get rich, they didn't *truly* care about the environment, didn't give a damn about light, air, water pollution, the sickening act of cutting of baby boy's foreskin for facial creme, the crimes of corporations, etc. It's was all pop culture, not the culture of the world were real problems are happening and should be more important than the Nipple Gate scandal. Yeah, I was informed and yaddi, yadda, yadda. I also ranted quite a lot about stuff like this.

Basically, I lived a life of bitterness and was draining my own energy by doing so. It was nothing short of a miracle that I briefly dated a girl that I was looking for; smart, didn't do drugs, clearly not whorish, kind, the exact opposite of what I saw in other women. Of course, it ended quickly, family didn't like the idea of us being together. Broke my heart, that it did. This was a year ago.

As I (slowly) got over it, I realized my stupidity in being so bitter and angry over my shortcomings. Also in labeling people and being overly critical of people who didn't care about the same issues as me. I also realized that while I may have some intelligence and wisdom beyond my limited years, I was still a young person who shouldn't take life so seriously.

As of now, my heart is okay, and I'm not bitter and angry anymore. My angry dies as quickly as it's born now, it doesn't suck on me anymore like it used to. Now, I realized that the same people who I considered stupid to be really bright in their own light. They just have different abilites and skills than me, and have different things that they hold important than I do. Even from the women I would never date in a million years (From doing drugs or being too closed minded) I can find something positive about them. Losing my negative sides has made me happy! I get bursts of raw energy for no reason besides thinking about something as simple as cheesecake. (Which is something I would like)

Of course, this would be a GREAT thing, if it wasn't for the fact that some of my friends became my friends partially because we ranted about the stupid people. Of course there's more to these friendships than that, but it gets old to rant about something pointless(Which I did a lot in my day) when you find it otterly fruitless! One of my friends was ranting, and I tell him to calm down, it isn't a big deal... he really didn't care. Most people talk about how they hate something like White Castle or this guy who talks too much, or how they would like to see this guy get hurt, and it really annoys me. I explain that hating things and people is pointless, and screws you over, people often don't care. I'm not trying to come off as some sort of parent, but I've resented people and things and now it's fruitless to me, I've walked over that life. But it makes me wonder if a person can hate with a passion, and be happy.

When people rant about a person who did something wrong, I don't get enraged or anything like that. I say, "We all do wrong, no point in castigating people for it when we do wrong ourselves!" (On a humorous note, I've learn this attitude is never good when talking to a girl ranting about a past boyfriend, the hard way!) or something on those lines. Some people seem to think (in my eyes) that I don't care, when in reality I do care, but I'm not letting it ruin my day! I was simply tired of ranting about things I couldn't change. Now, I wish others understood what I mean by my simple living. No resentment. No hate. No revenge. All Joy.

But these changes seem to create a wall between me and other people.
Of course, that's how I see it. I simply don't resent and seek revenge on people, and can see positive things in all people, even if that person is disliked by me and everyone else. I don't wish death or suffering on people I dislike. I wanted happiness and found it, but my ideology and mindset seems to be divide me more from people. It seems like people have to hate and all that....

[Rhapsody]

I understand what you are saying as I too have found an inner peace about me that no longer allows me to become angry over stupid issues that dont matter enough to waste my energy one... and yet other people around me seem to fall apart over the things I now see as silly or stupid.

I have found that it works best for me if I accept them (the other people) where they are and not try to push my new found peace upon them.... unconditional friendship & love is what I give.

[thelionkinglives]

One thing I've come to terms with over 33 years on this planet...the more I learn the less I know.

Find a way to keep your hope & passion to change the world while balancing it with your personal life.

One thing I've noticed is that as you change many of the people who can't handle a new out look slowly begin to disappear. People in general fear anything that is "different"

When I was the only white kid in the projects. I was jumped just for being white.

When my mom married into a racist family, I followed it for a while. After all my experience at the time told me they were right. However, when I decided to start dating a couple hispanic girls I was jumped by this group too. Which showed me they were no different than the other group.

After my son was murdered by my ex wife I developed a distain for women in general. I bent over backwards to pull her out of a bad life & for what? this along with being conditioned by society that the only way to get a girl is to act like a jack *** to her. It was the only thing girls seemed interested in. My wife now has spent 13 years of showing me that good women exist.

When I decided to go to college. The blue collar crowd I hung around slowly stopped coming around.

I personally feel like a nomad at times. I have experienced many different cultures & can have casual conversations with them all. But eventually when there bias' & predjudice rear there head if you offer an alternative perspective they slowly disappear...this even goes for the academic community which prides it self on acceptance. There are intrinsic bias' by many against people without a formal education and egotistical assumptions that are made about why poorer or uneducated people are in there position is soley because there lazy.

I have just about seen it all & I am far from perfect. However, I am constantly working on my blind spots when I am aware of them instead of pretending the bias doesn't exist.

For me right now the group of people I have a hard time finding posite values are rich CEO's & bankers & politicians. It feels like finding someone in these groups that you can trust are few & far between.

The state of U.S. style capitalism & corporate greed feels like a social cancer to me.

Just try to find a balance that works for you between your giving a damn about the world & just relaxing & enjoying your life.
Keep your passion, but try not to get synical & jaded.
This is what I am trying to work on right now.

[WantsSomsTruth]

Originally Posted by thelionkinglives

One thing I've come to terms with over 33 years on this planet...the more I learn the less I know.

Find a way to keep your hope & passion to change the world while balancing it with your personal life.

One thing I've noticed is that as you change many of the people who can't handle a new out look slowly begin to disappear. People in general fear anything that is "different"

When I was the only white kid in the projects. I was jumped just for being white.

When my mom married into a racist family, I followed it for a while. After all my experience at the time told me they were right. However, when I decided to start dating a couple hispanic girls I was jumped by this group too. Which showed me they were no different than the other group.

After my son was murdered by my ex wife I developed a distain for women in general. I bent over backwards to pull her out of a bad life & for what? this along with being conditioned by society that the only way to get a girl is to act like a jack *** to her. It was the only thing girls seemed interested in. My wife now has spent 13 years of showing me that good women exist.

When I decided to go to college. The blue collar crowd I hung around slowly stopped coming around.

I personally feel like a nomad at times. I have experienced many different cultures & can have casual conversations with them all. But eventually when there bias' & predjudice rear there head if you offer an alternative perspective they slowly disappear...this even goes for the academic community which prides it self on acceptance. There are intrinsic bias' by many against people without a formal education and egotistical assumptions that are made about why poorer or uneducated people are in there position is soley because there lazy.

I have just about seen it all & I am far from perfect. However, I am constantly working on my blind spots when I am aware of them instead of pretending the bias doesn't exist.

For me right now the group of people I have a hard time finding posite values are rich CEO's & bankers & politicians. It feels like finding someone in these groups that you can trust are few & far between.

The state of U.S. style capitalism & corporate greed feels like a social cancer to me.

Just try to find a balance that works for you between your giving a damn about the world & just relaxing & enjoying your life.
Keep your passion, but try not to get synical & jaded.
This is what I am trying to work on right now.

Hey, thanks for that! I'll always keep my passion for what I stand for, that's just part of me being who I am now! As for being cynical, I'm a positive thinker with a dab of realistic thinking, before and after my change.

Yeah, I totally agree with the "More you learn, less you know" thing. I learned plenty about myself and the world, yet I've gotten more confusing to myself and the world seems even bigger now that I've thought about it...

Wow... I really do think a little too much... not that's a bad thing..

Like I said, thanks for that one!

[Pomegranate]

Maybe if you start trying to make new friends with the same ideas and values as you, you won't minding losing the old friends who want to stay the way they are. Start doing different things you think you might enjoy, start up a conversation with someone new who you think acts like a postive person. If you look you will find people like you. There are many caring, positive people around, you just need to find them.