[Rick_Hunter]

Hi my girlfriend needs serious help.

She doesn't love herself and is completley dependant on other people to feel worthwhile. She's a big girl, and old enough to have graduated college but still hasn't, used to be a cutter (just did it again) and drinks and does cocaine just to "stay sane"

She's always had a lack of confidence that cripples her from doing anything productive with her life and is basically swimming in cirlces of failure, moving from one town to onther to start anew but doesn't find what she's looking for. everytime life gets stressful she shuts down and thats the reason she flunked out of both university and later even community collage. Her mother was her wolrd but after her passing she threw away all the inheritance money in under a year on cigarettes and fast food (her primary diet) in an apartment and car that looks like a dumpster exploded. She hates herself and her place in life at the moment which only drives her to more self destructive behavior.

she's a great person and I cans see myself being with her once she gets her act together but right now she's sinking to new lows and I'm not exactly sure I want to stick around and wait for her to pull herself together because past expierence tells me she'll mess it all up again. On the other hand I don't want to abandon her. What do I do? Is there any non secular free/low price help in Texas that doesn't have a religious adjanda? Should I even bother sticking around?

[Capp]

Hi Rick and welcome...

Jmo, but there isn't much you can really do in this situation. It sounds like you have let her know that you are willing to help if she wants to help herself.
When she gets sick and tired of being sick and tired, she will do something about it...her time line is most likely not going to be yours, either.

Abandonment is not an issue right now, Rick. There is no law, religious or otherwise, that says you have to stay with her, watch her screw up her life, and be dragged into her drama.
It Is All Right For You To Take Care Of Yourself.

Re the counseling...
Call community services in your town/city. If none is available where you live then check out the largest town near you.
I do hope you can talk to someone about your feelings and get advice about taking care of you...

Best wishes,
Cap