Controlling or all in my head? Need advice Pleasee

I constantly feel as if my husband is controlling. I have been in depression for awhile now due to many close deaths in the family and nightmarish events. I can not tell if what is going on is all in my head, if i am making it worse then it is or if it is this bad and that i am letting it go. I need help! I began fighting with him before we got married, and we fought badly, all on the phone or on the computer due to him living in another country. He demanded that i be online any chance i had (meaning all i could do was go to work the rest of the time was for him) i remember him even getting angry every time i had to get up and get something to eat or go to the bathroom. Forget about friends, i was not allowed to see them because in his eyes i could always see them, i could not always talk to him due to the time difference. He said this however he would stay up until 6 am his time to talk to me. I knew the relationship was unhealthy then i even dropped out of college to talk to him more so he would stop complaining. But my father was extremely sick and was begining to even lose his memory and thoughts and nightmarish events happened during this time. I kept putting off the fact that things were wrong in my relationship because i was so worried about my father. For instance he thought a knife was a drink and tried to stick it down his throat. My (now husband) came to visit me for the summer because he knew how upset i was having to live in the basement and give my room up to my dad, i did it for him to be closer to the door but the basement is creepy. he came to see me and then my dad died on fathers day a few weeks later and that event scared me for life. He then proposed to me when i was at my weakest and i said yes. I am now stuck and all he does is read my emails, browsing history, threw away my prom pictures because there was another guy in them, the other day he even became phsyical and threw things at me and started pushing me calling me a ******. I am still depressed and feel lost, he tells me i am exaggerating and trys to make every situation as if i am some mental case and he is right. My mind feels numb and my idenity is gone.. I feel like the real me is now in prison and i have to say and think the way he wants to get by. I almost killed myself a few weeks ago but my sisters boyfriend stopped me. I feel like i am on the edge of breaking, maybe the world would be better without me i kept thinking, Maybe i am a head case, maybe all i do is ***** up everything. All i know is I want my life back!!!!!!!!! Please give me what ever advice you can, Pleaseee

OMG! First! YOU ARE NOT STUCK!! You have control of your own life! This man is possesive and controlling to say the least! It is time to move on and get away from him. I fear for you at this point, now is better then later. His behavior will most likely get worse and never get better.
I understand you have been through some tough times, it is never easy to lose a parent, but this may be a time you need to experience so you can become stronger and find out what it is you really want, need and desire in both a good (key word here) man and life.
Take it by the horns, send him back home, do not marry him and seek out some support for what you are going through.
Go back to college, get your own life back, do not let him take it over for you.
The fact you are ready to take your own life shows you are not happy with him or you would not be unhappy enough to consider this.
Please, be strong, send him home, start involving yourself with activities and other people and take your life back so you can find your happiness again. I know you can do this, good luck and big warm hugs to you.

hmmm..is see

Contact your local battered women's shelter and explain your situation to them. They will help your. You need to get out of that relationship as soon as possible. Seek all the help and support, professional, family & friend, that you can find to do that.

Please keep us posted with how you are doing.