[StuckAndConfused]

Hello,
So I have an appointment with a new T on Mon. This would be my 2nd since being asked to leave by my couples T after telling her that I saw her as more than a therapist, I saw her as a friend. Everything was fine with her until I actually said the word “transference”. That’s when she became visibly uncomfortable.
The T that I have right now, who is helping me deal with the rejection of the T I had transference for, has done a great job, but I’m just not clicking with him. So I will try a female again and see if this works better. I will obviously have to explain my situation more in depth with my new T. I am uncertain as to how honest to be right from the start. Only because I feel it was honesty that got me kicked out initially. And should I not use the word “transference”? Has anybody else noticed a strange response after saying the word? Maybe Ts and Ps would rather hear how you developed feelings or became too attached. I don’t know. I’m open to your thoughts.
Thanks,
-Stuck

[LavalampTerry]

I sorta told mine in stages... First it was "I wish we had met at a different time and place." Then it progressed to "I can't help thinking that we would have been very good together." And finally it was "I love you." Of course that was said WITH lots of tears and NO eye contact... It was everything I could do to not run screaming from the room!! I seriously thought I was losing my mind.

But she was great with it. Thank God. So tender and loving. Made it all seem normal. And since we have talked about the reasons behind those feelings and how that transference is crucial to my therapy givenall the unmet needs as a child.

Good luck!! I see you've had a pretty bad experience so far with this. I hope that if you have to address it again you'll be better recieved.

[BlackCanary]

I'd say do try another male therapist.
For me, I worry about going to another male, since I was so "in love" with my male T. With my female T, it took about 8-10 sessions to get a strong rapport, but we did make progress prior to that time. It was a huge relief to not be thinking about my current T all the time (still thought about the old T plenty).
I still feel like I'd just slip right back into my transference mode if I saw another male; it was so intense. Something to consider