[~firefly~]

There are a lot of reasons one experiances transference. One that seems to slip a lot of therapists minds is the "Distraction" possibility. When therapy begins to get too deep and the issues are ones that the client has kept to themselves, their minds will create feelings for the therapist whether positive or negative, these feelings are a way for the patient to re-direct the therapy. Example "Oh I cant talk about those things with my therapist because my feelings for him or her are the only things I can think about." If a therapist is worth their degree they will easily side step the transference issue, help the client with the real issues and in the process take care of the transference. Transference is important to therapy, but if handled wrong it can have dyer consiquences. First you have the therapist who has no idea how to deal with transference, begins to treat the client weird for it, and then inadvertantly creates an extremly complicated situation that could have easily been handled. Then you have the therapist who has no interest in helping with the transference and has no counter transference, but still wants all the details to feed their ego. The most dangerous type is the therapist who will act on the clients transference, manipulating the client and eventually making every issue the client had worse. The last are preditors and the mentally health community does all that they can to prevent these people from continuing to practice. If you have a therapist who is engaging in a sexual relationship with you or has made any sort of attempt to act on transference issues. Please let their licensing board know. Not just for yourself but for other patients that could end up being hurt by them also. Im posting this as a Psychology grad student, a future therapist, and a former patient who has had to deal with the unethical practices of a therapist who had no business in the mental health community.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by ~firefly~

There are a lot of reasons one experiances transference. One that seems to slip a lot of therapists minds is the "Distraction" possibility.... If a therapist is worth their degree they will easily side step the transference issue, help the client with the real issues and in the process take care of the transference.

It seems like what is key is for the therapist then is to be able to identify if the transference is due to the distraction possibility or to one of those other reasons you say exist. If it is distraction, the therapist should apply the "side step" technique. But if it is not distraction, then should the T still side step or do something else such as "work through the transference"? Or do you think the side step technique is a good one to use even if the client isn't coming up with transference in order to distract?

[ladyjrnlist]

Oh, such a complex topic. Transferrence can also be a healthy step to gaining trust with the T and even vice versa. But it is such a fragile state for the client to be in. A time when we can get hurt very badly. Any T who takes advantage of that should be put in jail.

[Marie123]

Transference is present in ALL relationships; the classical Fruedian transference is when someone reminds you of someone else, and you relate to that person the way you would have related to the person in your past.

Transference...just another word for feelings.

[lizlemon]

I haven't written here in a long time. I had been seeing my T for over a year and a half and was experiencing major transference with him that I talked about here in the forums. I had to stop seeing him because of mainly financial reasons (he was very expensive) and I now know because of my intense feelings for him. I had discussed all of this with him and he was always very professional and kind.
I have been seeing a new T now for a little over 2 months that I can afford(he is free) and things are going OK, except that my feelings for my old T have not gone away in the least. They are still as intense as ever and I sometimes have the urge to go see him again and tell him. Of course this is so ridiculous and he would think I was really out of control, but that is exactly how I am feeling still. I talk about this with my new T who knows my old T and it only stirs up everything. It has been almost one year to the day that I told him of my feelings and nothing has changed for me. I don't know what to do. Should my current T tell my old T about this? I feel so awful because I really thought that it would be a case of outta sight outta mind but it is not. I am so full of emotion over this that I want to explode.

[lizlemon]

Hi everyone...it is me again. I was wondering if someone could give me some advice on the previous post I made. My question is: should I have my current T contact my old T to tell him of my uncontollable transference or should I just keep plugging along with my current t on working it out? As I said earlier it has been a year and my feelings have not changed even though I don't see him anymore. I would appreceiate any feedback at all.

[BlackCanary]

Originally Posted by lizlemon

Hi everyone...it is me again. I was wondering if someone could give me some advice on the previous post I made. My question is: should I have my current T contact my old T to tell him of my uncontollable transference or should I just keep plugging along with my current t on working it out? As I said earlier it has been a year and my feelings have not changed even though I don't see him anymore. I would appreceiate any feedback at all.

Hey LizLemon - I think maybe your post isn't getting noticed because it's part of Firefly's string.
Do you want to post again separately?
I've got feedback for you