[wintergirl]

I'm pretty sure my T would be really uncomfortable talking about it, even though part of me wants to address the issue (and I'm guessing he's heard pretty much everything, you know?). We're both married, and there's a 20-year age gap between us.

My T works for a large clinic, and about a year ago another therapist in his group was disciplined for having a sexual relationship with a client, so all the therapists there are more on edge than usual. I just don't want to complicate our relationship even more, you know?

[SpiritRunner]

It did help me, although it did bring about some changes in my relationship with my T as in no more hugs, but that has worked out fine really. It's not such a big deal......and no more hugs did actually help me get past the sexual thoughts/fantasies/feelings I had for her.
Probably your T has heard it before and even if he isn't so comfortable with the topic being addressed, it doesn't mean that it shouldn't be addressed! SOmething like that not being addressed could actually hinder the therapy process.

[Marie123]

If he would be/is uncomfortable discussing that....that would be a shame; I have read many articles where t's aren't trained in discussing feelings from the client....how ironic, and clients have many feelings for their t's...

It isn't just a one way street either; the client affects the therapist also..........a kind of dance we weave with one another, and with everyone in our lives.

To NOT discuss it, what a shame. Still in the dark ages. There isn't ANYthing that should not be discussed when it comes to any kind of feelings.
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[LavalampTerry]

My 2 cents..... Best thing I ever did was to tell my T I love her. (notice the present tense - that hasn't changed) Once I got over the fears of her judging me (thinking I was a perv!) - rejecting me (swiftly transferring me to anouter - male - therapist) - and holding back from me (we still hug at the end of each session!!) and told her - through an avalanche of tears of course - all that was taken away by her kind, gentle, loving response. I felt like I was FINALLY in therapy!! It was finally out there. No need to hold back - deal with the undercurrent I brought with me each week. Ya know? "What did she mean by that?" "Maybe she likes me too?" "Did I sound silly when I said that?" UGH!! Exhausting!!!!

Of course she made it plain nothing is going to happen between us - she is nothing if not professional - but her reaction to my fears - and my truth - litterally took my breath away. After the session, as I was sitting in my car trying to get myself together so I could drive to work, I said outloud to myself "What just happened??" LOL!! The rest of the day was a blurr. But as foreign as those feelings were there was this OVERWHELMING sense of FREEDOM. That I had FINALLY found somebody who is gonna accept me EXACTLY AS I AM. "Warts" and all. Gives me goosebumps now to write about it and this happened months ago... And NONE of that would have happened had I not - with the support of the people here - told her how I felt about her. I had to open the door - she held out her hand and led me inside.

Good luck with this.....When your ready, it'll happen.