hate my psychiatrist for insisting on sex talk

i am really feeling sexually frustrated now since my last app with my psyche, who asked me about sex again and suggested i must have a great sex life, when i have tiny problems like ocd and social anxiety that stop me functioning in daily life. im 21 at college and feel so so lonely and pathetic right now because he asked why im not having sex, i feel so useless and stupid and on the edge of just sleeping around with someone i barely like. he seems to have no clue i cant even walk down the street easy let alone get sex. i hate him so much aggh, what should i do, i cant stop thinking about it but why should i just do it, this pressure to do it is so annoying, am i weird?

Why are you seeing a therapist? For what issues? You are supposed to be talking about what is going on with you. A therapist is there to listen to what YOU have to say..sounds as if he is being inappropriate...sexualizing therapy. Pressure to do what? OCD and social anxiety are not "tiny problems"---Your psych. sounds as if he is unethical and not well-trained; I would find another one. Why do you want to have sex with someone you barely know? That is unhealthy..what do you mean about not being able to walk down the street easy?

I think your therapist's insistence on talking about your sex life is bordering on misconduct. And asking you why you are not having sex, is over that line.

Implying that someone should be promiscuous is flat out WRONG. And there is nothing wrong with someone your age not having sex, and if you are having emotional issues it's a good idea to be cautious about sex, sex and emotions are so intertwined.

I don't know all the details beyond what you posted so this is just an bit of a guess, but it sounds a lot like he might be trying to manipulate you into having sex with him.

And if you "hate" him don't see him any longer, find a different therapist, and inform his supervisor about what he has been doing to you.

You need a new Pdoc. This guy is just too much.

There's two ways to ask that question:

1. Can you help me to understand why you find sex so difficult?
2. What is it with you and your obsession with chastity?!

The first form is a legitimate question that a good T might ask.
But it is up to T to make it quite clear that he is not asking the second!

I think that Ts that LEAD clients to sexually oriented topics, if they are not raised by the clients or welcomed, are generally out of line. I think if a client BRINGS it, then it is on the table, but if not, then I tend to be CREEPED by Ts who do this.

Am I missing something..or did your T say "you must have a great sex life" out of the blue?? Perhaps I did not read correctly?

Maybe I have problems that aren't being resolved orsomething but I found my cold distant Ts insistence on "going there" to be highly inappropriate, given the distance that HE insisted in maintaining.

It just feels creepy when a T goes there if it's not the client's main concern, especially when it is a male T and a female T.

Again, I may be out of line here....

MCL

MissDell, you've posted a lot about sexual thoughts about your therapist. I suspect that your T is following that up.

You also said before that you thought you only needed a few sessions and were almost done with him - have you actually shared your OCD and social anxiety symptoms with him?

SPECULATION

Ts like to talk about sex because it engages with the subconscious. All our secret hopes and fears are tied up with it.

Hmmm...I have alot of secret hopes and fears that are NOT sexually oriented.

Am I alone here in this?

I think some Ts want to talk about sex because it's titilating to THEM.

No, you're not.

OCD and social anxiety aren't tiny problems. They can be quite dilapidating. I wouldn't feel comfortable with a T that was all-consumed with my sex life. It's possible that his asking about why you're not having sex is his weird way of figuring out your social hangups, but even when I knew my T was attracted to me, he didn't press me with questions about my sex life. Either we don't have all the information or your pdoc is rather creepy. It seems, from all you've posted on the topic, that you believe the latter. And if this is so, why do you stay? In an attempt to prove that he is truly attracted to you?

I'm wary, thanks to my own issues and years spent researching why I've done the things I have, of passing judgement completely regarding your pdoc's motives. There were times that I thought men wanted nothing but sex from me and I used this to avoid my issues. If you truly believe that he is being inappropriate, leave as soon as you can. Nothing good will come from waiting to be sure that he is attracted to you. If he is, it will only confuse you further. But if he is just trying to help, much can be gained from exploring your social anxiety and the ways in which sex ties into it. You have posted about being incredibly aware of your physical attractiveness many times but there is a lot more to you than that. I know from personal experience that relying or hoping on a man that is attracted to you will only bring heartache and turmoil. Get out or ask why he is so focused on sex. And if he says anything remotely creepy, run. There are really no other options if you truly want to be well.

Freud would find a sexual connection, I'm sure.

Also have hopes and fears that are not sexual orienated so your are not alone.

And yes I agree many therapists talk about sex for their purporses not necessarly yours..

id told him i thought my father had sexual feelings towards me at 7 thats all. he said in our 5th im ashmed of my sexual desires so maybe thats why? i can understand its a good lead to my general anxiety, which has now been resoleved thankfully to my sister uniting with my parents again to being there for me last month. so alot of that has lifted for the first time and i dont have a broken family anymore. as for sex, i dont think i really had an issue but it can open up alot of myself i dont know, part of me wants him to be getting off on it cos i fancy him so bad right now.