[secretworld]

Has anyone ever done this. Gone to a different T to deal with transference issues with your current one? My T threw it out there as an option, and I balked at it. But now after thinking about it more, I could go in to a separate T and talk away much more openly and stop obsessing, and hopefully get to the root of why.
Thoughts.....?

Is your own t not willing to work with you on the transference? I mean that way you wouldn't have to see another t!

[secretworld]

She is, but also offered this. Confusing hey?

That is unusual, did you ask her why she offered this?

[wheeler]

I have often thought of it, and I think it may be helpful. Although who's to say I wouldn't go down some crazy-transference-road with the new T? I'

Seriously, it could help. Especially if you're having trouble talking to your current T.

[Miswimmy1]

I would have loved this. I joke all the time about needing therapy for therapy. And now since I have two ts, I joke that i need therapy for therapy for therapy. haha!

But I think that if you are having trasnferance issues, you would be best off to work it out with the current t. It makes it easier to not complicated things. I have also learned that its hard to find a therapist who is willing to "Share" you with another therapist. most people want you to be their patient and their patient only.

Swimmy, sometimes I amazed at your wisdom and maturity

[secretworld]

Hmm, I would love nothing more than to make my therapist jealous

[FeelTheBurn]

I'm currently seeing T2 just to enable myself to work through interrupted transference with T1, who had to leave unexpectedly. It helps, gives me the sense that my feelings are "normal," I can deal with the grief, without the awkwardness of having to talk about it directly with the object of my transference.

But, truly, transference is just a heart-rending aggravation if you can't use it to work stuff out--and to do that, you need to be with your therapist. You might get cognitive advances with a different T, but the deep stuff really needs that emotional connection (and vulnerability!) to heal up.

You're way ahead of the game, having broached the topic with your T and discussed your options. Maybe a couple of sessions with someone to get some "neutral" validation, enable you to feel less squeamish, and then dive in wholeheartedly with your T. It's worth it.

(oh, and hi, my first post! )

[chumchum]

Originally Posted by secretworld

Hmm, I would love nothing more than to make my therapist jealous

Oh, me too!!!!

[tooski]

I've seen 2 other T's, for a total of 4 visits, to work on transference stuff. It was immensely helpful, even though they both told me I needed to talk to my T. It was just easier to bring it up with others, since I hadn't been able to broach the subject with my regular T. They sort of reassured me that it was all normal, that he probably already knows anyway, that I really needed to get it out there. I haven't yet, but I've hinted. Best I can do so far.

So I think it can help short-term but eventually it really needs to be talked about with the object of your transference. I think it's an important part of therapy.

Good luck, whatever you decide.

ETA: Yes, I did tell current T I was seeing another T, and although he appeared to be cool with it, I think he was a little annoyed (jealous?). Made me feel kinda good.

[nicoleflynn]

Transference is just a fancy word for feelings. I don't know how you stop feeling what you feel.

[rainbow8]

I've never seen 2 Ts at the same time, but I saw my second T to "resolve" the transference I had with the first one. After I finished that T, I saw my original T a few more times, but that was disaster. I had to see a third T and resolve it some more! Fortunately, I didn't need another one to resolve that one!

My core issue resolves around the transference. I always seem to need therapy for therapy! This time, with my current T, I'm going to stop. I'm determined because the transference is too painful. I think it's not so much a question of "resolving the transference", but of using it to work on the issues that are making you feel the way you do about your T.

[MASIMO]

I got a kick out of my T when he seemed jealous of his partner who I saw a few times during his vacation. His partner emailed me some advise that was very helpful to me at the time and has continued to be. In fact I'm seeing him right now as my T is on vacation again. My T was sent a copy of this email exchange and he said he was jealous that his partner said what he thought he had said to me many times but I never "got it" coming from him.

Last time I saw my PDOC, I confided in him my feelings for my T. He was thrilled that I told him. Said, "Wouldn't it seem normal to feel love towards someone who you have confided in for 5 years, who has supported you and has been there for you thick and thin?"
He kind of blew off the "transference" psychobabble regarding my feelings. I loved it.
So, now I can talk a little about this when I see my PDOC which will be helpful.
I dont know why, but I have never said anything to him before because I felt like I should be protecting my T. Protecting him from anyone thinking he has been anything but professional with me.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by nicoleflynn

Transference is just a fancy word for feelings. I don't know how you stop feeling what you feel.

It's not that you STOP feeling what you feel; it's that you change and grow. Are you still in love with your boyfriend from high school, for example? Or grade school? Maybe yes, maybe no. But we usually go to t with the goal of change and growth. So a change in feelings towards t would be a natural outcome. Especially as they are trying to foster that by the way they behave towards us - only showing us so much of themselves, for instance, and keeping the focus on us.

Originally Posted by hankster

It's not that you STOP feeling what you feel; it's that you change and grow. Are you still in love with your boyfriend from high school, for example? Or grade school? Maybe yes, maybe no. But we usually go to t with the goal of change and growth. So a change in feelings towards t would be a natural outcome. Especially as they are trying to foster that by the way they behave towards us - only showing us so much of themselves, for instance, and keeping the focus on us.

I am in awe of your wisdom today Hankster

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

I am in awe of your wisdom today Hankster

You're sweet! I feel like I visited the wizard of oz and got a brain! Seriously, I connected something yesterday and it felt like I integrated parts of myself. Like I always "forget" stuff, like goals, or what I told people, and then I don't understand why I should do something or why somebody said something to me. I asked t if it was because my stuff never got validated, and now it is starting to be.

Does this mean all of your hard work in therapy is finally paying off?
Ick, I hate not feeling validated, it's the worst, especially when you say something really important and people hear you but don't listen.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

Does this mean all of your hard work in therapy is finally paying off?
Ick, I hate not feeling validated, it's the worst, especially when you say something really important and people hear you but don't listen.

Idk. I don't know how to not keep falling back into bad habits. Like not wearing a bra. My t is gonna have his hands full lolz!

[QUOTE=hankster;3110031]Idk. I don't know how to not keep falling back into bad habits. Like not wearing a bra. My t is gonna have his hands full lolz![/QUOTE

lol

[secretworld]

All right you guys, back on topic here. I believe it was ways to make your therapist jealous! LOL

[1stepatatime]

It seems to me that your current T should be willing to do that work with you,,...after all, it is very common in therapy to develop transferential feelings towards ones T. Maybe you could bring this up to your T? Best wishes to you