[Poppy Princess]

I feel like I love her, which is crazy cause I'm married. I don't what to do. Do I tell her how I feel? I feel ashamed. I keep daydreaming about cuddling her, kissing her, or having sex with her. What do I do?

[RTerroni]

Just try to keep you urges under control and if you can't then I recomend seeing another Therapist.

I have had romantic feelings with Therapists in the past but I have always been able to keep them under control.

[allme]

Ok, firstly remember transference can be perfectly normal and is nothing to feel ashamed of. Yes do speak to her about it. She will understand and hopefully guide you. If this isn't possible and the feelings become too intense, I would recommend you find someone else.

Good luck

[Melody_Bells]

Originally Posted by Poppy Princess

I feel like I love her, which is crazy cause I'm married. I don't what to do. Do I tell her how I feel? I feel ashamed. I keep daydreaming about cuddling her, kissing her, or having sex with her. What do I do?

Hi Poppy Princess, You're not alone! I feel the same and I've told my T everything you said multiple times over the years. I even ask her to marry me all the time. My T hasn't even blushed. She just accepts me and says "it's perfectly natural". She lets me talk freely and over time it became less scary. Although, in the beginning I was terrified to talk about such embarrassing things, it got easier as time went on. There is no need to shove away your feelings! Enjoy the loving feelings you have, and use them to gain a deeper understanding of yourself.

[Poppy Princess]

I told her through email because I was too scared to do it face to face. I told her she could terminate me if she wanted. She didn't want to though and said she understood. She wants me to continue with her and try to work through the transference.

[LearningMe01]

Good job telling her!!

I don't agree with the poster that said "Just try and keep your feelings under control, or find another T." That's pointless, the reason you're seeing a T is to express your feelings, not "keep them under control." and it would be silly to terminate just because of feelings, you could be giving up on some very helpful therapy.

I know it isn't easy, I struggled with my feelings for T for a long time. (Truth be told, I still do) But telling her felt good, and honest. It's a little difficult and embarrassing at first, but it gets easier and I have found that opening up about my feelings for her has made opening up to her about other things (non romantic) easier.

So, way to go. You did a VERY brave, and VERY helpful thing for yourself. Kudos to you! Keep us updated if you are so inclined!

[Patagonia]

I'm too very glad to hear that you told your therapist. I think those feelings are very important in therapy. Your therapist sounds very levelheaded and it's something that I would definitely talk about. Like everyone says transference is normal and therapy.
My last therapist I developed erotic transference & tried to talk about it twice in therapy, but he never addressed it. I ended up leaving. I know now I can't see someone of the opposite sex. It's just too hard.

[SimpleMe123]

Love is beautiful. Gracious and Pure!

[Poppy Princess]

It doesn't matter now. We both decided to stop the therapy. She said it didn't seem like I had any problems to figure out but I could still continue if I wanted. Well, I agreed that once again there were no apparent problems to struggle with. So we just terminated.

[Nerak67]

I worry because you were just posting that you were suicidal but you don't have issues for therapy?

[Poppy Princess]

We can't figure out why I'm suicidal though. So its pointless.

[laughattack]

Originally Posted by Poppy Princess

It doesn't matter now. We both decided to stop the therapy. She said it didn't seem like I had any problems to figure out but I could still continue if I wanted. Well, I agreed that once again there were no apparent problems to struggle with. So we just terminated.

Hmmm...was this soon after you divulged your feelings? It is within the realm of possibility that T couldn't handle your feelings and/or had strong counter-feelings and let that effect her decision to terminate. It would not be a great way to handle the issue, but it sometimes happens.

Originally Posted by Poppy Princess

We can't figure out why I'm suicidal though. So its pointless.

Whoa! What! I can't imagine that a T would agree to terminate therapy with a patient that she knows is suicidal. And, on top of that, because you guys "can't figure out why"....Sounds unethical and non-healthy. Sounds like she ought to at least referred you to someone else.

[Poppy Princess]

She did refer me to someone else.