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Member Since Jan 2013
Posts: 153
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#1
I have had transference feelings towards my old therapist for over a year now. I still email him(he moved away) and I told him about the transference in June. I just emailed him a couple days ago asking him if he is ok talking about the transference again or if he just wants to leave that subject alone. He replied back saying that I could talk to him about it and asked what is on my mind. I emailed him back and I haven't heard back from him since. It's not like him to take days to email me back. My mind is going crazy thinking of why he hasn't responded. What if I said something that pushed him away,what if the email didn't send right,what if I lose all contact with him and he won't answer me ever again etc. I did say in the email that I wasn't sure if the transference feelings I have are a fantasy,real life,or a little of both. The other time we talked about transference he thought it was only a fantasy. He did say that I can talk to him about the transference but I just don't understand why he wouldn't get back to me if he said that. It hurts me so much just thinking about losing him. Knowing he was only an email away any time helped me so much. I have really strong feelings for him and I just can't lose him. I have been crying every day since because he isn't responding. I'm just so worried that he will never email back and I will lose him forever. Just thinking about it hurts me. I trusted him with everything,I was completely honest about things to him,I got comfortable around him etc and that doesn't happen with many people.
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Aloneandafraid, Anonymous58205
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#2
I am surprised he is even open to corresponding with you about this considering he is no longer your T or in the area.
Give him a few days to respond. Try not to overthink this quite yet. |
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anilam, dolphinlover8
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Member Since Jan 2013
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#3
Well when I first told him he said he wouldn't be able to give me advice because it was about him but he said i can still talk to him about it. I wasn't really looking for advice when I sent him the email but maybe he took it as I was.
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Middle of Nowhere
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#4
I think maybe it would be best for you to find a new T and work on the transference with him/her. I don't think he's doing you any favors by still communicating with you. Or is this therapy by mail (i.e. are you paying him for these mails)?
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dolphinlover8
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Member Since Jan 2013
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#5
He actually did reply to me. The therapist I am seeing right now doesn't do much about the transference. I don't pay my old therapist still. I usually just send him an email every now and then and tell him what's going on but now our emails are mostly on the transference. Before he moved he told me he wouldn't do therapy online so we aren't actually doing therapy anymore. He told me I can tell him anything about the transference if I want so he seems comfortable talking about it.
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Aloneandafraid, Yobeth
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Middle of Nowhere
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#6
I'm glad he replied.
The reason I asked about the payment is that dealing with attachment requires a lot of time and hard work and well, if the T is doing it for free he can't really be expected to dedicate that much time/energy to it... Anyway, I find it strange that your new T won't help you esp if it's stg that is bothering you. |
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Member
Member Since Jan 2013
Posts: 153
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#7
Yeah it's especially hard when its over email. That's the only way I can still keep in touch with him.
I don't think my therapist I have now knows what to do about it. She tells me to go out with friends to get my mind off of it. She doesn't say much other than that but she will listen to me about it. |
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Aloneandafraid
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Elder
Member Since Sep 2013
Location: USA
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#8
I don't think I have any way to get in touch with my Therapist outside of the sessions themselves
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Member
Member Since Jan 2013
Posts: 153
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#9
Really? My therapist I have now let's me email her anytime and she even offered me her number if I ever want to call her and talk but my therapist that moved away only let's me email him.
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Perpetually Pondering
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Member Since Apr 2013
Location: New England
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#10
Quote:
I just know, the therapists, that I've had, in this area, pdoc included, don't extend outside of office visit emailing. I would, personally, worry about billing costs. And, I, would, personally, feel as though I am crossing some line, into their personal space. If some therapists, allow this, fair enough, guess it's how things are in other areas. |
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Elder
Member Since Sep 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 5,751
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#11
Quote:
She has a number to call but it goes straight to voice-mail. |
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