[peanut_sauce]

I am having conflicted feelings about whether I should continue therapy or not.
I have only had 3 sessions thus far but we have barely started the actual work. I am supposed to go back in two weeks.
I am not experiencing transference as we are only doing strict CBT and have not gotten into any past conversations, it's only been small talk and talk about my condition so far.
What I am feeling is regular attraction to someone who has shown kindness and attention which I have not had in some time. I am thinking it is harder when this happens as a single person.
I have been fantasizing about this person very much and I really want it to stop because as someone who is experiencing lonliness, it does not make me feel good but more depressed because I am not having these needs met in my life.
The conflicted part is that I am going to therapy for serious issues that are making it difficult to work and I need help. But the other side of me really does not want to go back as I feel it will just increase the feelings. I hope I am making my dilemna clear and someone could give some words of direction or advise.

Honestly, I wish sometimes I had switched early on to someone who isn't so cute and who I do not find so appealing. That said, the overall therapy has been hugely helpful in terms of getting many of my issues under control, and my life is better in general, although therapy has been very painful.

[Terabithia]

before I was married, I got crushes on 2 of my doctors. The first one was about 40 yrs. my senior! It's normal when someone is showing you unconditional kindness that you haven't received in a long time, or never, to have these feelings. I hope that knowing that relieves some of your anxiety.

[Lauliza]

If it's really early on and not attached beyond attraction then honestly, I might consider switching to another therapist. You sound pretty self aware, so if you can sense that this might make therapy too complicated or make you feel worse, you are probably right. It's an added complication that you don't need.

[nicoleflynn]

It is normal to feel attraction, love etc., to someone who listens and validates our feelings. I have loved my t for 10 years and the feelings have not changed.

You may want to consider telling your t about your feelings. If the t is well trained it won't be shocking news. If you switch t's, you may find yourself having feelings and attraction to the new t, also!

[Petra5ed]

All transference means is that it's feelings you have for a therapist, it's not like it is a phenomenon that only occurs in therapy. People commonly are attracted to therapists for the reason you mention, they are lonely and their therapist is kind and pays attention. So, even in three sessions it's going to fall in the realm of transference by definition...

If you have childhood issues and plan on sticking around in therapy for a while then you might want to try to work on it with your therapist. If on the other hand you have short term goals and this is a distraction then sure, find a new T you don't have feelings for and that should do the trick!

Some people are fragile in a way they might have strong transference for any therapist, but for some people it's just a certain therapist clicks with them... no need to go digging into it if that's not your goal is all I'm saying.