[Inner_Firefly]

I told T I have a crush on her. She is fine with it. But I am scared of telling her details of my fantasies and daydreams.

I am afraid she would be disgusted. I feel unattractive and undeserving of T.

I also worry it's rude, like sexual harassment, because T would not want me to see her in "that way".

If I were prettier, successful and confident, I would feel more free to talk about my crush.

[Chummy]

I told my pdoc about my feelings. He reacted good. But one of the things I worried about was that he would be grossed out. I think I'm ugly and just stupid. I was afraid he would think "why does that ugly dumb girl has to have feelings for me, gross". I'm still worried that he thinks that.
I don't talk about my fantasies. I don't really want to and I don't think it's neccessary.

[nicoleflynn]

Feelings aren't right or wrong, they simply are.....and should always be honored; they are all we have to tell us who we are and what is going on in our lives.

[LonesomeTonight]

I didn't describe any actual sexual thoughts or fantasies to my marriage counselor when I talked about my transference for him. I said something silly like "Sometimes I just want you to hold me, and other times I want to do non-PG-rated things with you." I think he just smiled (but not like in a creepy or lustful way, just his usual smile).

[growlycat]

I'm not sure if my CBT T would be flattered or grossed out that the heavy chick has a crush on him. I haven't told him my feelings yet, not sure if I will. But he has given me some indication that he knows anyways. (once he was coming down the hallway and I was already near the clinic door and I think I smiled at him. He hung his head sheepishly and smiled with one side of his mouth. I recently said that he was a charming guy in a factual way; again, he bowed his head a little sheepishly. I hope I'm not flirting with my therapist!)

[lunatic soul]

I think they are trained to hear it and to help clients with it and they know it's part of their job.
Mine asked me details of my sexual dreams about him two years ago when I told him about it first but I said I won;t tell him because we won't do it and I don;t want him to analyse it. He asked me if I'm mad so I punish him by not telling this and he asked me many times how I would like to touch him (I never understood this question because my dirty mind always said he asked me about sexual stuff but maybe he just wanted to know do I want to hug him or hold his hand or something more and it also was long ago).
I also always worried it's rude to talk about it so I never did it but it's torturing when I can't tell anything and I think we should tell everything we feel like we should tell no matter what T would think because it's nothing that horrible but I know it's hard to talk about it because of shame, fears etc.
When I asked my T am I inappropriate in my words he said- no, you are honest and it's okay.

[Petra5ed]

Originally Posted by lunatic soul

I think they are trained to hear it and to help clients with it and they know it's part of their job.
Mine asked me details of my sexual dreams about him two years ago when I told him about it first but I said I won;t tell him because we won't do it and I don;t want him to analyse it. He asked me if I'm mad so I punish him by not telling this and he asked me many times how I would like to touch him (I never understood this question because my dirty mind always said he asked me about sexual stuff but maybe he just wanted to know do I want to hug him or hold his hand or something more and it also was long ago).
I also always worried it's rude to talk about it so I never did it but it's torturing when I can't tell anything and I think we should tell everything we feel like we should tell no matter what T would think because it's nothing that horrible but I know it's hard to talk about it because of shame, fears etc.
When I asked my T am I inappropriate in my words he said- no, you are honest and it's okay.

Do you still see that T LS? That seems a bit weird to me he'd push you for details, but if it happens again I would ask him why they are important. God I wish mine would ask for details though, LOL!

I've never talked about my sexual fantasies regarding my T, it seems a bit weird to do so to do that with him. But, I highly doubt it would gross him out even if I was the ugliest woman on earth...

[lunatic soul]

Originally Posted by Petra5ed

Do you still see that T LS? That seems a bit weird to me he'd push you for details, but if it happens again I would ask him why they are important. God I wish mine would ask for details though, LOL!

I've never talked about my sexual fantasies regarding my T, it seems a bit weird to do so to do that with him. But, I highly doubt it would gross him out even if I was the ugliest woman on earth...

He didn't push me, I am shy, it's hard to get information out of me and it was long time ago, I remember my confession about my feelings, I couldn't even say a phrase "I would like to have sex with you" and I said "I would want to do with you things which partners do". I'm just too shy to talk about stuff like that and maybe he asked me this because that way he asked me to get over myself but I don't know now. I think it's not okay for me that I can't tell anything, I can't even repeat phrases he says about this stuff sometimes.

[Lauliza]

I don't think Ts get grossed out when clients tell them they have crushes or feelings for them at all. It is not unusual for clients to feel this way and most of them know how to handle it. I don't think it's necessary to share the details of your sexual fantasies, however. Just telling them you fantasize about them is sufficient. It's not saying anything bad about a client who wants to share fantasies, but I think it's up to the T to set some kind of boundaries about what would be shared and what would be kept private should this happen outside of therapy. I think Ts that push for detailed information do so for their own gratification, not for the client.

[Jessica Hazlitt]

Well I've never overtly shared any details, but I have taken in drawings of the milder side of the fantasies. I was terrified he'd freak out and leave me, but he didn't. He encouraged me to bring more saying "these things are more powerful when held in the imagination." Not sure if posting them would upset people. They aren't pornographic, just kissing and cuddling.

[ruiner]

I totally know what you mean. I feel that way about anyone I "like" or "love." Like I feel sorry for them that I feel that way about them.

[qwertykeyboard]

Do you guys have any advice on how to breech this subject to your t? I'm considering bringing up the subject to her, but I'm scared how it would affect our relationship, that she would pull back a little bit, you know? Less emojis in texts, less jokes/laughing in session. I don't want to risk our relationship level decreasing, as that would also affect how vulnerable I can be in session.

[Mygrandjourney]

In my case, I got training and supervision around this issue, both generally and specifically. It is not necessarily considered gross or disgusting, but a natural part of the treatment process. It is up to the therapist and client to decide if this is too much of an issue to resolve in therapy and if so, the client would need to be referred on. It is definitely up to the therapist to maintain professional boundaries with the client in all cases, no matter how intense.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

As this is so very common I expect they just see it as another part of their work, but in a sympathetic way of course.

[aetheorist]

I think it's very important to be honest about it with your therapist. I've never felt grossed out in that situation before. It's natural and not uncommon at all. Pay attention to how your therapist reacts though. Flirty/encouraging isn't good. An effective therapist will address it openly and try to see what you guys can learn from it to make therapy more effective. You or the therapist may decide it interferes too much with therapy and another therapist would be a better fit. If they have those feelings for you, they need to refer you out. A therapist can find a client attractive and be aware of that but developing a relationship beyond therapy or pretending the attraction is not there is asking for trouble.