[summer.in.paris]

I never noticed my T wearing a wedding ring before. Haven’t looked in months, and I only looked once, but he had not been wearing one when I did look. All of a sudden I noticed he had one on. Maybe he just got married? I don’t know. I didn’t look on purpose. He looked down at his hand then moved to hide his hand quickly. His looking down made me look in that direction. That is when I thought I saw one. I looked away quickly. Again, a session later, still not looking. I was telling him about a guy at a bar looking at my hand and asking me if I was married with a smile (I wasn’t wearing my ring). As I am telling my T about this, he looks down at his hand again and moves to hide it. Maybe I am overthinking this, but could he be doing this on purpose? Yes, I have feelings of transference starting up. Actually that ring thing didn’t hit me that same day, it was the next day I thought about it and got irrationally sad. I think he has been trying to get me to talk about transference, without actually saying “transference”. I do not go along with it. I am avoiding this. Again, maybe I am just reading too much into it, but would a T do this on purpose to elicit a reaction? Why hide his hand? If he doesn’t want a patient to see it, why wear it during session? If he is doing it on purpose, it's working... Any thoughts? Thanks.

[Lauliza]

It's possible he was recently married and wants to avoid a conversation about it. That may not be directed at you but at other clients too, especially if he's awkward talking about his personal life. If he's been married and hasn't been wearing it, that's another issue altogether. Still, he made a choice to begin wearing it and should be prepared for observant, normally curious people to ask about it.

I know my pdoc is divorced, so if he started wearing a ring Id know that he just got remarried. He knows about my transference, so like you I would feel especially awkward asking about it, yet I'd be dying to and would probably overthink it. I honestly don't think unreasonable to ask your T. Some Ts may put keep their rings off to keep that blank slate thing in therapy or if clients are constantly hitting on them. I doubt someone would start wearing one for the sole purpose of stirring up a reaction in a client - that seems a little over the top and maybe even mean.

[Chummy]

When I was in group therapy, one of the T's was away for 2-3 weeks. He got married during that time. He didn't told us, the clients, about it. Someone saw his ring and asked about it. He said he got married, but that's all he wanted to say about it.

Maybe he got married recently. He could be a very private person and not want to tell his clients. But it's a bit weird if he tried to hide his ring from you. Why would he wear in during work if he wouldn't want his clients to see it.
Wait until your next session and see if he still wears his ring and how he act. Maybe his movements were coincidental.

[RedSun]

Yes, I agree that if he has an issue with clients seeing the ring, he can just leave it at home. Lots of married people don't wear a ring. Sounds a bit confusing, I can see why it's on your mind. Keep us updated!