[WanderingBark]

Tell me about your experiences telling your therapist that you're in love with him/her.

I just told mine and I feel like I've made the stupidest and biggest mistake ever.

[LonesomeTonight]

Did your T react badly? If so, I'm sorry.

I can share links to my threads on sharing my feelings for my marriage counselor--first telling him in March that I was attracted to him (eventually realized it was probably more paternal than erotic transference), then telling him maybe 4 months ago that I love him. He reacted well to both, thankfully (though there was some bad stuff the week after I shared the love feelings.).

[WanderingBark]

Hi LonesomeTonight,

Yes, if you could send along those links I would sincerely appreciate it.

My T had a pretty good reaction to both. His reaction to when I told him I had a crush on him was much more thorough and genuine than his reaction when I told him I'm in love with him. Now I'm extremely anxious and curious as to what he thinks/feels about this whole thing...I feel so stupid...I wish I had thought about the words coming out of my mouth before I spoke them.

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Did your T react badly? If so, I'm sorry.

I can share links to my threads on sharing my feelings for my marriage counselor--first telling him in March that I was attracted to him (eventually realized it was probably more paternal than erotic transference), then telling him maybe 4 months ago that I love him. He reacted well to both, thankfully (though there was some bad stuff the week after I shared the love feelings.).

[LonesomeTonight]

OK, here's some of my experiences:

Initial sharing of feelings (background on first 2 pages, but actually sharing feelings on this page)
http://forums.psychcentral.com/roman...unselor-3.html

http://forums.psychcentral.com/roman...t-discuss.html

Kinda related: http://forums.psychcentral.com/psych...brings-up.html

Shared "I love you" here:
http://forums.psychcentral.com/roman...their-t-5.html

Some of what happened after (though not directly related to that):
http://forums.psychcentral.com/psych...nger-term.html

For the record, things are good between me and MC (and T) now. And this after sending him a 3 a.m. text about feeling lonely 6 weeks ago while on vacation with my H, daughter, and my parents...

[nicoleflynn]

We discussed in depth; he handled it wonderfully. He already knew (as I thought he did).

[Chummy]

My pdoc had a good reaction. Said it wasn't bad and that it happened often (clients having feelings for their T or pdoc). We didn't really discussed it further. I've seen him once after I told him. He was just the same as always. Though I had the feeling he was a little bit more kind/understandable (or something) than before, though he has always been kind. But I think he thought I didn't like him. Which I can understand, I wasn't exactly nice to him, just polite. I was trying to not show him how much I liked him. The next time I'll see him is in two weeks.

[WanderingBark]

I'm going to give an update on how this has gone so far...

My T had very good responses to both telling him I had a crush on him and that I was falling in love with him. A month ago, I told him I had a crush on him and he set boundaries (no contact outside of session, no touching, etc) and explained that these boundaries existed so that I can have a safe space to discuss/explore my feelings while also providing him with a safe space to help me process. After he set those boundaries, he told me that it's not uncommon for clients to form these feelings etc.

Nearly every session, I've mentioned my feelings mostly because in the silent pauses (which there are many for us!) he usually asks, "what are you thinking?" to which my honest answer is "how handsome you are/how I appreciate your compassion and it turns me on, etc". As our therapy continued, I found that I was becoming more and more attached and my feelings were broadening and deepening. I told him I was falling in love with him and he reacted very well, explaining that it has even happened to him and his T when he was in therapy. We're continuing to figure out how to productively use my transference.

But the moral of the story is, I feel a little better for being honest and I've found that as long as I surrender to my feelings and try to work through them with T, my therapy becomes much more beneficial/helpful.

[WanderingBark]

Hi nicoleflynn,

How did you (or your T) keep the conversation going? Whenever I bring it up, we don't usually spend too much time on it and I wish we would.

Originally Posted by nicoleflynn

We discussed in depth; he handled it wonderfully. He already knew (as I thought he did).

[iheartjacques]

I can't ever imagine doing that. I would be utterly mortified. Plus I struggle because he looks like my father and brother.

[Jessica Hazlitt]

Originally Posted by WanderingBark

Tell me about your experiences telling your therapist that you're in love with him/her.

I just told mine and I feel like I've made the stupidest and biggest mistake ever.

I've had the opposite issue tbh, and it's just as bad.

I've spent the last couple of month trying to explain to T I am not 'in' love with him. That's been so hard. It's because, on the one hand I do love him and care for him, as I do anyone who tries to make life bearable. On the other I find him physically, sexually attractive. But these two sets of feelings are separate. It's been like banging my head off a brick wall, and I'm so worried about hurting him.