Why would my T give me a gift for no reason? A very thoughtful and personalized one at that. Not my birthday. No where near it. Not a holiday either. It was something that was clearly not cheap either. Is this a normal thing?

It's not usual, and I find it a bit odd that s/he would give it to you without any explanation. I would ask the therapist about this.

It's a he and he said it reminded him of me. It is something I really love that is perfect for me but at the same time that has to mean he was thinking of me outside of therapy. He had me specifically in mind when buying this gift. I don't think he understands just how very confusing the whole situation is.

Hmmm. It seems to me his behaviour is thoughtless at best, and potentially willfully damaging for the relationship.
I don't know what your history is with T in terms of transference (you're posting in the romantic feelings subforum) but a therapist really has an ethical responsibility both to be explicit about what his boundaries are, and also to make sure that everything he does and says is for your therapeutic benefit. This is especially important when there are complex transference or countertransference issues in the relationship.
I'm not sure how this is therapeutically beneficial to you. It seems like it is causing more confusion than anything else.
Out of curiosity, how expensive are we talking?

It wasn't hundreds to thousands of dollars like an expensive piece of jewelry would be. That's why I wasn't extremely alarmed. But it also wasn't a ten dollar gift. I didn't know the exact amount at first but knew the general price range since it is something I am familiar with. After some research (which I did because I had my suspicions about what it cost) I found that the gift was in the $50 price range. I know that everyone's definition of cheap is subjective but to me that is a large amount to spend on a person, when there is no specific reason or special occasion for the gift. Especially if this person is not a family member, close friend, or significant other. Am I way off base here or accurate in my assumption? Maybe I am just over thinking which I am sometimes guilty of and should just accept this as another "it is what it is" situation. I did not ask why he was giving me the gift at the time of receiving it: 1. Because I was so caught off guard and grateful for the thoughtfulness that the thought of a hidden agenda did not even cross my mind until two weeks later 2. I really loved the gift and am not normally in a situation where gift giving or receiving would be a weird or uncharacteristic thing. I am not used to this bubble world that we call a therapeutic/client relationship and don't know what is considered "right" and "wrong".

[atisketatasket]

Can I ask if there's anything else about his behavior that seems out of normal range?

I would say a lot things could definitely be considered "not normal" or not your average way of acting towards a client. However, at the same time I do not feel threatened by him or nervous to be alone with him. I'm not afraid of him, just a little confused.

Just to add quickly: if I'm being completely objective, to an outsider looking in, some things might be considered inappropriate but to me they are not because I know the relationship and context. However, I chose to post in this forum about it asking if this gift was in the norm and asking if other people have experienced this before because I was afraid I was no longer being objective given my stake in the the therapeutic relationship and wanted to make sure I wasn't being naive and that it was completely appropriate.

[atisketatasket]

It's not uncommon for therapists to give gifts, judging by stories on this forum, but that seems to happen most often when the relationship is ending amicably.

I guess I would say, if there are other signs that he is interested in you as more than a client - which I think a personal, meaningful gift that costs $50 indicates anyway - I would be wary. You don't have to feel uncomfortable with him or afraid of him for something more to be going on on his end.

[Ididitmyway]

No, those gifts are not normal practice and are not appropriate. I can see you have already received the same answer from others as well. Whenever you ask a question, expect that you might and in many cases will get an honest answer you might not like and not the answer you'd like to get that will go along with what you want to believe.

[nicoleflynn]

t's make their own rules about gift giving....it if is something small and inexpensive and given for a specific reason; they do it.

Sunshine, if you are not disturbed/worried about the gift and his other behaviors, then perhaps it's not an issue for you? What he did may not be common, but I think different people can have quite different thresholds as to what they deem acceptable in the context of a specific situation, both Ts and clients. Maybe ask him what he was thinking exactly when he got the gift for you.

Well, all the uncertainty got put to rest today when my therapist confessed we is in love with me. So now I have an entirely new issue. The only validation in this fiasco is that I now know I was not making **** up in my head.

He ** is in love

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by Sunshinestateofmind

Well, all the uncertainty got put to rest today when my therapist confessed we is in love with me. So now I have an entirely new issue. The only validation in this fiasco is that I now know I was not making **** up in my head.

Yikes! That's really inappropriate/unethical for him to tell you... Did he say that he needs to refer you out? Because that's what he should do... How are you feeling about what he said? I wasn't clear on whether you have feelings for him, too. (Not that anything could happen--just wondering how you're feeling about it.) Like you said, at least you weren't imagining things...

[ramonajones]

Originally Posted by Sunshinestateofmind

Well, all the uncertainty got put to rest today when my therapist confessed we is in love with me. So now I have an entirely new issue. The only validation in this fiasco is that I now know I was not making **** up in my head.

That is really intense. When are you supposed to see him again?

[nicoleflynn]

Contacting TELL (therapy exploitation line) could be helpful..It was for me. The best obok I read on the subject: Sex in the Forbidden Zone by Peter Rutter...it gives a "snapshot" of a t headed down the slippery slope

[scallion5]

are you really in tampa?
was the gift a framed item?

[BudFox]

Sorry to hear about all this confusion. With all due respect, therapy can be rather insane. Where else can things like gift giving and being in love end up being the source of misery so consistently? How could he do this, where are his boundaries! What the hell do you expect is going to happen when you shove two people into a little room cut off from the world and talk about feelings? That's a rhetorical question, not directed at anyone...