[AnxiousandAlive124]

Why might a T ask if there is anything they have done to ignite/encourage the romantic transference? My T asked me this during the last session, candidly. Now, I am wondering why someone might ask their client that? (To figure out more about their psyche, etc.)

Thoughts/experiences?

[AnxiousandAlive124]

I think I might want to ask her why she asked me that

[Elio]

Just a guess....I think to find out if it is actual transference or genuine attraction. People can be attracted to another person without knowing anything about them. If you are genuinely attracted to your t and not just transference, how she handles it might be different.

[Elio]

Oh.. and when there was the slight ET going on with my t, she did do something unknowingly that started/initiated it.

[AnxiousandAlive124]

Originally Posted by Elio

Just a guess....I think to find out if it is actual transference or genuine attraction. People can be attracted to another person without knowing anything about them. If you are genuinely attracted to your t and not just transference, how she handles it might be different.

Good point here. True. Thing is for me its part personal part transference.

[atisketatasket]

Probably so she didn't do anything to encourage it further.

[HAL_9000]

Isn't that problematic? Shouldn't a therapist know when they are encouraging the so-called transference? That's like saying to the client - ''Listen, I don't really know what I'm doing but can you tell me if I'm doing anything wrong?". ''Wrong" meaning here supposedly something a therapist shouldn't do - igniting the transference?!?

[Elio]

Originally Posted by HAL_9000

Isn't that problematic? Shouldn't a therapist know when they are encouraging the so-called transference? That's like saying to the client - ''Listen, I don't really know what I'm doing but can you tell me if I'm doing anything wrong?". ''Wrong" meaning here supposedly something a therapist shouldn't do - igniting the transference?!?

As far as I could tell, my t had no clue. Granted I was surprised by it as well as it is not something that I usually find erotic.

[nicoleflynn]

My t said, "Have I ever led you on? I don't think I have." Obviously he did think that. and he DID lead me on. Long story.

[AnxiousandAlive124]

Originally Posted by nicoleflynn

My t said, "Have I ever led you on? I don't think I have." Obviously he did think that. and he DID lead me on. Long story.

Very good point. Should I ask her why she asked that next session?

[BudFox]

Therapists seem to be preoccupied with liability. So there's that. Could also be a means to get feedback, but that would indicate cluelessness as HAL_900 suggested.

Therapists don't seem to understand that simply playing their standard role -- intensely attuned and focused on you and your needs -- is more than enough to ignite just about anything. And then, ignorant of this, they assume the "transference" is all about the client.

Therapists: you are seducing people left and right, wake up.

[nicoleflynn]

I am still trying to findthe courage to discuss with my t how he led me on....bigtime.....verbally and physically.....I have a long list....when he said "I don't think I have"--(led you on), he answered his own question, thereby preventingme from feeling likeI could discuss it.