[junkDNA]

Possible trigger:

Looking through Facebook as a distraction

Sees triggering news article



Well of course I'm going to click that!



First comment

Reminds me of when the local newspaper ran 2 articles about my former T and me, patient X

I got online to read them

It was all his cronies, and even patients, saying things like this about me

"She seduced him "
"He would never do that..."
"She wants his money"

It totally broke me.

Hugs jDNA. Sadly predators are often experts at building up good reputations.

[junkDNA]

Originally Posted by QuietMind

Hugs jDNA. Sadly predators are often experts at building up good reputations.

Yep. And they seek out avenues to use that on vulnerable people

[lucozader]

I wish people would think before they say such things How dare they presume to know anything about what you went through (or what that girl is going through)?

So sorry, JD. The world is a really ****ty place.

Yes They groom the people around to blame the target, pick vulnerable targets that people will scapegoat.

Hugs if you desire hugs.

[unaluna]

Omg. (((Junkdna))) thats awful that her peers would say that about her. I would think they are parrotting their parents. Which only makes them vulnerable, too.

[junkDNA]

i always told myself since i read all those comments about me...made from people who had no idea who i was- they didnt know my name, what i looked like, nothing.... i told myself that it's easier for them to just blame me. it keeps their lives feeling better and aligned with what they choose to believe. its better for them.., i think.

[lucozader]

Yes. It's easier for them to look at it that way than to have to feel your pain.

[precaryous]

People judge and blame the victim to separate themselves from the victim, like, "That could never happen to me.."

They totally lose their empathy.

[Erebos]

Funny thing is, if it was a 15 years old boy and his female teacher or make for that matter, they would straight away insist he was the victim. That he was taken advantage of and wasn't responsible for his actions.
They would have no trouble believing that.

[junkDNA]

i think she might have gone voluntarily... but there are different reasons why people do that, and if someone has been groomed by a predator over a long course of time, of course she will go. shes young. she thinks its love. romantic. shes blinded.

i was that way too. i did what i did voluntarily. there were so many invisible locks and chains surrounding it though

I was with a lot of much older guys when I was 14-15. Yes, I was taken advantage of in a sense, but it wasn't usually predatory-I lied about my age and they enjoyed being with me and me with them.

It was much better for me to be with them than my parents. In fact, I have a child with one who I moved in with when I was 15. Stayed with him until my early 20s. Much better than the fate of living in that prison with abusive, neglectful parents. Moving in with him set me free in many ways.

So I'd be mortified if there was an amber alert on my behalf. I'd probably escape to Mexico...

[Yellowbuggy]

I went "voluntarily" with my abuser, too, except it wasn't voluntary in the true sense of the word. You don't recognize something as abnormal if it's all you've ever known. There is a reason there are laws protecting individuals under a certain age and those in relationships with a power differential.

Don't forget there are people in their 40s who are less emotionally mature or more niaive than some 16 year olds. At 15, i felt I had a lot of autonomy in my choice.

And whose to say someone at age 17 1/2 needs protected, while the next person at age 18 does not. Where were all my protections from parental abuse? My father was reported to the authorities, but they did nothing because there was no proof. No amber alert to save me and my siblings from our parents.

Not defending that guy, but just saying its not always cut and dry.

[lucozader]

I'm not sure this is really the right time or place to be debating the innocence of those who commit statutory rape and/or abuse their positions of power and trust by entering into sexual relationships with vulnerable people.

Im sorry that something i said upset anyone, but i am certainly *not* defending the guys innocence, so please dont twist what im saying.

I was speaking my thoughts about my personal experience, including some of the related problems in our society with protecting children that were spurred by this topic. Not interested in debate, but i wont contribute to this thread anymore as again. i have no motivations or interest in debate, but will not take back what i said here as my experience is completely valid too. My abusive father almost pressed charges against my bf for statuatory rape, my experience is relevant and valid.

[lucozader]

It didn't upset me, and I wasn't trying to twist your words or suggest you were defending the guy in the OP, sorry it came across that way.

Your experience is certainly valid, and I don't particularly disagree with anything you said, I just don't think this is the right place for that discussion. Sorry if it came across harshly, it wasn't intended as a chastisement.

[junkDNA]

Originally Posted by Yellowbuggy

I went "voluntarily" with my abuser, too, except it wasn't voluntary in the true sense of the word. You don't recognize something as abnormal if it's all you've ever known. There is a reason there are laws protecting individuals under a certain age and those in relationships with a power differential.

unfortunately, therapist sexual exploitation of a client is not illegal in my state

in some it is... not mine though

[WrkNPrgress]

There's a lot of Victim shaming in those comments. I can see how that's triggering. It's infuriating how quickly people jump to blame the girl calling out her class, her 'troubled' life, etc. all the while ignoring the fact that this man was an authority who abused his position.

Absolute ********. **** em. This makes me rage.

[Yellowbuggy]

Originally Posted by junkDNA

unfortunately, therapist sexual exploitation of a client is not illegal in my state

in some it is... not mine though

*JAW DROP*

That goes against everything we know about relationships with power differentials. Unbelievable.

[junkDNA]

Originally Posted by Yellowbuggy

*JAW DROP*

That goes against everything we know about relationships with power differentials. Unbelievable.

therapists may also opt to go with malpractice insurance companies that have a clause that they will not pay out for any sexual misconduct by the insured therapist

my T had this kind of insurance. my attorney managed to get money from them. i dont know how... i think it was to just get me to shut up. i got a large sum but not anywhere near some people get in lawsuits for things like.... Medical doctor malpractice, or even someone being fired unethically..... a lady near me got 500k for an unethical firing causing her "emotional damages". i got 115k for this man ruining my ****ing life, and its almost all gone now anyway... i never used to for extravagant things. it was put into a special trust for people who are on disability that receive lawsuit settlements. they decided what i could spend it on. it never truly felt like 'my' money. it paid for the treatment i had immediately following my reporting my former T to the board

edit: i also only received a third of the settlement. a third went to my attorney (she could have taken a lot more) and a third went to Blue Cross Blue Sheild insurance leins on all my hospitalization stays that were directly related to the experience with my former T.

[Yellowbuggy]

Originally Posted by junkDNA

a lady near me got 500k for an unethical firing causing her "emotional damages". i got 115k for this man ruining my ****ing life, and its almost all gone now anyway... i never used to for extravagant things. it was put into a special trust for people who are on disability that receive lawsuit settlements. they decided what i could spend it on. it never truly felt like 'my' money. it paid for the treatment i had immediately following my reporting my former T to the board

edit: i also only received a third of the settlement. a third went to my attorney (she could have taken a lot more) and a third went to Blue Cross Blue Sheild insurance leins on all my hospitalization stays that were directly related to the experience with my former T.

That's really upsetting. I'm so sorry. The fact that you have to pay for your own treatment with the little settlement you received is especially hurtful considering how EGREGIOUS the crime was.